Snatched Page #8

Synopsis: After her boyfriend dumps her on the eve of their exotic vacation, impetuous dreamer Emily Middleton persuades her ultra-cautious mother, Linda to travel with her to paradise. Polar opposites, Emily and Linda realize that working through their differences as mother and daughter - in unpredictable, hilarious fashion - is the only way to escape the wildly outrageous jungle adventure they have fallen into.
Genre: Action, Comedy
Director(s): Jonathan Levine
Production: 20th Century Fox
  1 win & 2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
4.4
Metacritic:
45
Rotten Tomatoes:
36%
R
Year:
2017
90 min
$45,850,343
Website
1,195 Views


Okay, hold on tight.

And, remember,

when you get down there,

get to the embassy.

No, Mom!

I want to stay with you!

Mom!

Mom! (GASPS)

Everything's gonna be okay.

I love you!

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(WHIMPERS)

(GASPS)

Oh.

(OWL HOOTING)

MAN:
Hello.

Emily.

Hi.

Hi.

We were able to get your items

sent over from the hotel.

Any updates on my mom?

Oh, I'm sorry.

There's nothing yet.

But we are gonna get you

an escort

to the airfield base...

And then someone will

get you home from there.

I'm not doing that.

I'm not going anywhere

without my mother.

Can I be candid with you?

Yeah. What?

It's my third day.

And I guess everybody

takes off on Fridays,

but they didn't tell me

because it's my third day.

So if you could just

take your box and go.

I don't know

what you're talking about.

I just need to find my mother.

That's why I'm here.

The only reason my mother

even came on this trip

is because I made her.

Because I am selfish.

And I need help

finding her right now,

and I need you to be the guy

that helps me.

Come on, man.

Be that guy.

Who's the guy?

Not me!

It isn't.

It's never been.

I'd love to be the guy who

sweeps you off your feet

and is your hero

and can save your mother

and take care of you

and maybe we hook up.

I don't know.

Wait, what?

But I'm just saying

that I am not that dude.

So I need you to be that girl

who just takes your box

and walks outta this office

before you draw

any more attention

to the fact that I don't

know what I'm doing.

Can I just use your phone?

Can you be the guy

that lets me use his phone?

Yes. See? That I can do.

Come on.

(EMILY CLEARS THROAT)

(EMILY SIGHS)

I haven't been trained

on the phone system.

Oh, my God!

Hello, Morgan.

Hell, no.

Choose your next move

carefully, brother.

(BONES CRACKING)

(GROANING)

Wait! No, no, no!

Don't touch me.

Security!

Purell! Put on Purell!

I f***ing hate germs.

F***ing sh*t! Let me

have my day in court.

All right, wait, wait, wait!

Morgan, I'm a middle-aged man

who never leaves the house.

All I have in this world

is my mama and my sister.

And if something happens to them

then all I'll have is you.

And I'm telling you right now

I'm f***ing annoying.

I've read all

the Game of Thrones books.

I'll text you spoilers.

Please.

(SIGHS)

(MOCK SOBBING) I don't

want to go to an orphanage.

I can't be an orphan.

I need my mama!

Help me find my mama!

Thank you so much for answering.

I didn't know who else to call.

I'm all alone.

The guy I dealt with

at the embassy was insane.

Emily, we're gonna

get you through this.

But Barb wants me

to let you know one thing.

She refuses to use

sexual humiliation

as an interrogation technique.

What are you talking about?

Fine! She'll use it.

I don't care what she does.

Just can you help me?

Meet us at

the Presidente Apartments

at 19 hours.

ROSS:
We're trying to use

her cell signal

to narrow down their location.

Colombian military is setting

up a couple stingrays

in the region now.

We can have a unit ready

to go in by tomorrow.

JEFFREY:
Well,

we got a big problem

'cause that unit needed

to be there yesterday.

I told you to shut the f*** up!

Okay.

Go ahead, solider.

ROSS:
We've got reports

coming in that puts them

about 50 miles

outside of Bogota.

MORGAN:
Yeah, that's

Morgado territory all right.

Who's Morgado?

Let's just say he's none

of your goddamn business.

Let me come with you.

MORGAN:
No!

Please!

Absolutely not!

I'll translate.

You speak Spanish?

I speak Dothraki.

I speak Klingon.

You speak Klingon?

(BABBLING)

Nope.

Know what that means?

It doesn't mean anything.

I'm coming with.

You're not going anywhere.

I think I see them right there.

Is that them?

Little specks there?

Zoom in. Enhance.

You know, why don't

you wait outside.

Go, go in the hallway.

F***!

MORGAN:
Nerd. He's a nerd.

EMILY:
So what's the plan?

We have someone here I think

you're gonna want to see.

James?

Oh, my God.

EMILY:
What's going on?

Thank f***. Emily. Listen,

you've gotta help me, please.

We found him sitting at the bar,

chatting up another

pretty young girl.

It's a scam, Emily.

Yeah, so Barb waited

for him outside

smacked him in the back of the

head, threw him in the car

and here we are.

It's not a scam.

These women are crazy.

This whole f***ing thing

is insane.

Crazy?

Oh, you wanna know crazy?

You remember

my platonic friend, Barb?

Oh, Barb!

We were supposed to go

to the Arizona Gem Show

but instead, I'm here,

f***ing with you.

(CHOKING)

You should know that Barb

spent her life in special ops.

Not that bullshit regular ops.

She's retired now

so she doesn't have her toolkit.

But she was able to

improvise a few things.

Which, I'm pretty sure,

will all be applied

to your dick hole area.

Esmeraldas!

She's in Esmeraldas.

It's, like,

an hour's drive from here.

We got a real Chatty Cathy here.

Give me a map. I can mark it

on the map for you.

Write it down.

You want to start here...

Barb is really upset

about this. She had plans.

Now this doesn't always

show up on Waze

but you be sure to take that one

because it's the quickest route

if you want to avoid traffic.

EMILY:
Okay.

Okay, let's go.

Listen, Emily.

Be sure you check all the rooms.

She'll probably be held

on the third floor.

One of the rooms in the back.

Do you have any loyalty

to the people who hired you?

Hey, Emily, can I just

say, as well, you...

F***, you look great.

Thank you.

I got a tapeworm.

Well, it's working for you.

Hey, listen!

Are we, uh...

Am I ever going to

see you again?

Well, I don't know.

I guess if you're, like,

in New York,

we could get a drink.

In your wet dreams,

motherf***er.

I had this bad b*tch Uptown,

she was whoa!

Had me f***ed up in the head

I mean, whoa!

Bought the b*tch diamonds

And pearls, I mean, whoa!

Shoulda seen them shits

shinnin' on her wrist, whoa

(WHISPERS) Be super quiet.

(FEMALE GPS VOICE) You have

arrived at your destination.

(ALL EXCLAIM)

EMILY:
Fix it!

(BEEPS)

Let's go get your mom.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Just walk.

Huh?

(DOOR CLOSES)

(WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY) OW!

Shh! Okay.

(WHISPERING) We're all

gonna jump down there,

sneak past those guys

and get your mom.

Okay.

(VEHICLE ENGINE STARTS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(TV PLAYING)

(PEOPLE WHOOPING)

(PEOPLE CHATTERING IN SPANISH)

F***, f***, f***

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

(LOCK RATTLES)

(GASPS)

(GASPS)

Oh, honey!

I made a shiv.

(SOBS) You're alive.

Oh, my God, Mom.

I'm so sorry

I got you into all of this.

(SHUSHING)

I should have just

listened to you.

I should have listened to you.

That's okay.

You're always there.

If I'm sad or lonely.

And it's 3:
00 in the

morning, I call

and you answer.

You always answer.

I know, I know.

You're that person for me, Mom.

Okay, honey. (SHUSHES)

I'm so sorry.

I love you.

Honey, this is

a really long hug.

Can we have just

one more second?

Rate this script:4.0 / 2 votes

Katie Dippold

Katie Dippold is a screenwriter, actress, and comedian. She was a writer on the NBC series Parks and Recreation and wrote The Heat starring Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy. The Heat won the 2014 American Comedy Award for best screenplay and favorite comedy of the year at the People's Choice Awards. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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