Social Animals Page #4

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I want to welcome

everybody to Oral 101.

I am Sarah-Beth and I suck!

Seriously, Claire?

What, I saw it on Groupon.

You bought a dick-sucking

class on Groupon?

So today you're

gonna learn how to GBB,

Give better blowj*bs.

You told me that

this was going to be

a cooking exhibition to

make homemade Pop-tarts.

Surprise!

- F*** you.

He won't.

- What?

F*** me.

And it is actually

an amazing exfoliant.

My fiance won't have sex with

me unless I have bush on my face.

That's what the masks were for?

And just put it on

your face like this

and I swear your face

has never been softer.

So when you have

the penis in your mouth,

you wanna treat it

like a pepper grinder.

Now, twist it!

Twist it! Put

some pepper on it!

It's all in the

wrist. That's nice.

Every penis has

its own personality.

Some d*cks are just

like a nice, simple guy

that's tellin' you

he likes your blouse.

Other d*cks are a little feisty.

You can get a good sense of what

a dick's gonna be like when you see it.

If he's all doin' this at first,

you're like, "Yeah,

that's a feisty dick!"

And there's nothing a guy likes

more than getting compliments.

Okay, so watch this.

You have the

most beautiful eyes

of anyone I have ever seen.

So everybody,

pick your penises up.

On the count of three

you're gonna put the penis,

cucumber, in your mouth.

Okay, one, two, three.

You're so sexy.

You're so loyal.

You're so loyal?

Good try. A for effort.

But a guy does not want to hear

how he's loyal in a blowj*b.

You need to say something like,

"This is the biggest dick I

have ever put in my mouth."

"It is so huge,"

"I've only thrown

up on you five times."

All right, small mouth, come up.

How does this keep

happening to me?

Zoe, Zoe!

Shh, shh.

Come over here, Zoe.

All right, pull up your penis.

There we go, okay.

So, just imagine

a penis just like,

"Oh, my God, I love this."

"Oh, I want to put my

wiener all over your face"

"and in your mouth,

put it in your nose,"

"and in your eye, and in

your cheek, everywhere."

"Just take it,

just take it, take it."

All right, that's

one way to deal with it.

Uh, I wouldn't suggest...

Breaking it in half.

Hey, Jane!

Well, hi, Nathan.

Oh, sorry, he does

that to everyone.

We didn't see you at the

Toddler Meditation sailboat last week.

You know Nathan

would just love that.

I'm running a

workshop on how to make

your own kale chips

this Thursday, okay?

So, I'll put you

on the list, okay?

There you are!

Jane, we were starting to think

that you guys had moved away.

You know I'm doing a

Mothers Against Litter sign up

to clean up the park.

- Paul's already on the list.

He is really fantastic with

the kids. You are so lucky!

What, you have to pee?

Okay, come on.

Mom, we're hungry.

Dad, can we have dinner?

Yeah, I'll order us a pizza.

No, I can make

something in a minute.

Can you walk your brother?

Hotel Eleven 10 p.m. Room 116.

Who is that?

Lana, she's really

upset about the pregnancy.

You know, I

should go over there.

Why don't you

order that pizza thing?

Okay.

WAX:

BRAZILIAN WAXING STUDIO

ZOE:

FOR LOST ART FORMS

Hello?

Oh, my God.

Okay.

Yes. Thank you for calling.

Ah, guys, the school called

and it seems that

your class has lice.

No, no, no, no, no.

We don't scream.

Sit down, sit down.

I'm gonna take a look at you.

Everyone just calm down.

I'm sure everything is fine.

We're just... you know,

we're gonna deal with this, okay?

The important thing

is we don't...

Oh, f***!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry for using that word.

It was knee-jerk.

Uh...

We're gonna kill them all.

Daddy's gonna kill them all.

We'll be fine.

You'll be fine. We'll be okay.

Here we go.

Here we go.

What did I do?

Nothing, you're great.

You're great.

It's just something that

happens to me these days.

I'm just obsessing.

I'm obsessing. - It's okay.

I'm obsessing.

- It's okay.

It's just so hard to be alone.

Especially when

you're with someone.

Uh... I can...

I can hold you.

For an extra 200 $.

Hey.

Hey.

Where you been?

I called you like 10 times.

My phone died.

Okay, don't freak out.

Maybe we should send

them to private school.

You think lice don't infect

spoiled rich kids? - Probably not.

Have you slept

with anyone yet?

You told me not to tell you.

Yeah, no, I know,

I'm sorry, never mind.

But no, I haven't.

Come here.

I love you.

I know.

Okay, all right.

Paul, stop. Why? - Seriously,

stop. - What. What is it?

We have to wash this out.

EVICTION NOTICE:

All right, full disclosure.

I pretty much survive

on food truck meals alone.

So you're talking to an

expert here. You can trust me.

I trust you.

- Thank you.

Do you realize how

badass these guys are?

I mean, no one can

afford a lease anymore.

So they're like, "Screw it, we're gonna

open a business on our own terms,"

"no one to answer to, and we get to

do what we love day in and day out."

Plus, these tacos are no joke.

Okay, well, you're talking to

somebody with extraordinarily

high taco standards,

just to be clear.

Okay. - I'm not

easily impressed.

Okay, so we're meeting

in the same place here.

Mmm-hmm.

- And...

Close your eyes

and open your mouth.

I'm not falling

for that one again.

Come on, man,

it's taco roulette.

You gotta trust me, I have

honorable intentions, I swear.

Okay. All right.

This is very vulnerable for me.

Shh.

So your mouth is ready.

Okay. - It's

close, it's close.

Okay, oh.

- Chew it down.

This is really good.

- It's really good, right?

Who knows his tacos?

- You know your tacos.

Come on, there you got it.

Well, I met somebody.

Someone I actually like, and

he's perfect, and he's married.

Unhappily.

Well, that's new

and better than happily.

You know what your problem is?

Um, yeah, which one?

You see everyone

around you settling down

and it makes you want to

rev up and give hand jobs

to weird dudes in public.

Wow, you really have a way of

making things sound worse than they are.

Really? 'Cause you're

sleeping with a married guy

and watching your business

fail right before your eyes.

I haven't actually

slept with him

and what am I supposed to do

about my store? It's out of my hands.

I'm sorry, you

haven't slept with him?

Well, that's different.

Shut up.

Look, if that's

what you want, go for it.

If the store is what you want,

stop being complacent, okay?

We'll figure something out.

Or we'll die.

But either way, it's

gonna be over soon.

I'll drink to that.

Cheers.

I'm kinda getting

high from the fumes.

That's why we come here.

Right.

Paul?

Hi. - What are

you doing here?

You forgot your keys.

What is this place?

Ah, it's just a place I hang

out sometimes, you know?

Watch movies.

You're drinking?

No, it's a friend's.

- You don't have friends.

Thanks, I do occasionally...

Have friends.

Okay, so what, you

come here and you watch...

You watch Working girl?

Why are you

watching Working girl?

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