Sorority Slaughterhouse Page #5

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this is actually happening

no matter how

utterly ridiculous it sounds.

Or you're crazy.

Transference spells work.

I can prove it.

[LOUD THUD]

[GROANING]

What is it? What is it?

Oh my god, I felt that!

You felt what?

Why, you little b*tch!

She just ran headfirst

into the wall,

and knocked herself out.

What is wrong

with your sorority?

You said it yourself,

she's nuts.

And dangerous.

You think she killed everybody?

Well, according to

Miss Looney Tunes,

we're the only ones left alive.

And I've been with you

all afternoon.

So, who do you think did it?

A 12-inch clown doll

named Bobo,

or contestant number two with

her black magic voodoo crap?

Since you put it that way,

I'm glad she's

out of commission.

Yeah, but what do we

do with her?

We drag her in her room.

We lock it.

Okay.

[GASPING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[GRUNTING]

Okay, you call the police,

and I'm going to go downstairs

and see if she's

telling the truth

about Richard and

Victoria. Okay?

I left my cell phone downstairs.

Mine too. What about

the landline?

Also downstairs.

Okay, stay close.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

No dial tone.

She must have cut the line.

She wasn't lying about

Richard and Victoria.

[GASPING]

[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

I know I left my cellphone

around here somewhere.

Oh no.

[WATER DRIPPING]

I found our cell phones.

Now what?

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

BOBO:
Now the fun

really begins!

[CREAKING]

[LAUGHING]

If I knew you were coming,

I'd have baked a cake.

Marcus!

But a pie will have to do!

[LAUGHING]

It couldn't have hurt that bad.

It's just a pie!

Trust me, that ain't cherry.

[DISTRESSED YELLING]

Hey, first time a guy's

been screwed by a pie!

[LAUGHING]

Eenie, meenie, miny, Moe,

catch a tiger by the toe!

If she hollers, don't let go!

Unless she beats the crap out

of you with her foot,

because you're only

12 inches tall!

Okay, it's time to up my game!

[HEART BEATING]

[DOOR LATCHING]

[STARTLED SCREAMING]

Think I've hit my head

a little too hard.

Who locked me in here?

Marcus did.

We thought you were

the crazed killer.

Oh, he did, did he?

Where is he?

I'm going to kill him!

He's dead.

Oh. Awkward.

Your killer clown doll

got to him!

It's killed everybody.

Calm down.

We're still alive

and we can stop him.

Let me look through

my spell book.

Allie!

Haven't you done enough with

this occult stuff?

It's obviously

gotten out of hand!

No, Fawn.

It's entirely in my hand.

It has been from the beginning.

Don't touch me.

And don't touch yourself either!

How... How did you do that?

Transference spell, like I said!

I was trying to explain to you,

the spirit of the dead Dean

is downstairs in that clown doll

trying to kill everybody!

What?

Because of me and these spells.

You.

You. You!

You are behind all of this?

In a roundabout way...

We don't have time to talk

about that right now.

Oh, I have time.

That's a strong door,

and it is a tiny doll.

You need to start

at the beginning.

Remember when I pledged

the sorority last fall?

You don't have

to go back that far.

Actually, I do.

You know the prank where we

stole Dean Whitman's car?

Yes.

And you told us

a few months back

that he was starting to suspect

it was our sorority and

he was giving you a hard time?

Yes, I was telling Marcus

about that earlier.

Well, I took it upon myself

to help you,

I cast a little spell on him.

A spell?

Just a small infatuation spell.

On me.

We've been having an affair

for the past three months.

Ew!

You've been sleeping

with Dean Whitman?

Well, not sleeping.

Everything else, but,

definitely not sleeping.

[GIGGLING]

You look really good

in my glasses.

Thank you.

You look pretty good, period.

So he did all of this

because of a love spell?

Lust spell.

Love and the dark forces

do not mix.

But sexual manipulation

is very easy.

And it was fun for a while.

You know, there are advantages

to being with a dean.

He can alter transcripts,

change grades...

You know, the perks to having

the head of a college

in your pocket.

You mean 'in your pants'?

Yeah, well...

It got old.

And I started developing

feelings for someone else.

I broke up with him yesterday.

But breaking up with someone

under a lust spell

can be difficult.

You have to dissolve the spell,

which is why I sent him

this transference doll.

It's supposed to

bind with its owner,

and take in all of his

artificial emotions.

Lust can trigger rage,

if not treated properly.

He should have gone back

to normal within 10 minutes

and forgotten all

about his crush for me.

So, what happened?

He didn't wait long enough

for the transference

of his emotional state

to get into the doll.

He took out a gun, and...

[GUNSHOT]

So, I'm guessing that

not only his emotions,

but his departing soul

bound with the clown doll.

And he came back here to,

what, get his revenge?

Something like that.

But why kill all the others if

he's just obsessed with you?

He's pissed off with the world.

He's in the body of a clown

doll under a lust spell.

He probably starts killing

whenever he gets aroused.

Which actually makes sense.

His lust would trigger his rage,

especially since he can't really

physically do anything about it.

Think about it.

I'd rather not.

No, seriously.

Look at the murders.

He went after Kitty when

she was taking a bath.

Watching her probably

got him all hot and bothered.

Nina was in bed

with her vibrator.

It's not hard to guess

what she was up to

when Bobo assaulted her.

Victoria and Richard were

making out by the pool

when he went after them.

Allie, this is insane!

I know, right.

But it's happening!

You did this.

You created

a 12-inch monster!

I didn't do it on purpose.

I was trying to end it.

Break things off.

Right, because you fell in

love with somebody else.

That 'Cliff' guy.

There isn't any Cliff, Fawn!

I fell in love with...

With you.

Excuse me?

I've had feelings for you

ever since I first saw you.

That's why I joined

the sorority.

That's why I cast a spell

on Dean Whitman!

To help you!

I thought he would back off

if he was having an affair

with one of the girls

in the sorority!

Whoa. I think

I need some air.

And then you

started seeing Marcus,

and you went off

to Cancun together,

and all the little hints I was

giving didn't even pay off.

Hints? What do you mean hints?

Haven't you've been having

some dreams lately?

Some erotic dreams...

About me?

No.

No? What about

a couple days ago,

when you had a sudden,

spontaneous...

[GASP]

[MOANING IN PLEASURE]

[GASPING]

How do you know about that?

It was me. I got carried away.

No! Nobody could

possibly know about that.

I told you sex spells are the

one thing I'm good at.

Look what I did with Nina!

She went from

a workaholic to a sexaholic.

You did that?

All she did was study,

study, study. I just...

I opened her eyes,

and increased her libido.

A lot.

We should have never let you

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