South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut Page #24

A bunch of white guys raise their hands.

GENERAL PLYMKIN:

Right, you are 'Operation Get Behind The

Darkies'. You will follow Battalion 5

here-

He points to a spot on the 3-D map.

GENERAL PLYMKIN:

-and try not to get killed for God's

Sake. Are there any questions men?

Chef raises his hand.

GENERAL PLYMKIN:

Yes soldier?

CHEF:

Have you ever heard of the Emancipation

Proclamation?

GENERAL PLYMKIN:

I don't listen to hip-hop.

Chef scowls.

GENERAL PLYMKIN:

If you somehow live, we will regroup on

this hill outside--

Suddenly, the 3-D hologram starts to flicker and fizzle.

GENERAL PLYMKIN:

Now what's wrong with this thing?

General Plymkin messes with the controls.

GENERAL PLYMKIN:

F***ing windows 98!

General Plymkin has pulled the plug. He stands there with

the cord in his hands.

GENERAL PLYMKIN:

GET GATES IN HERE!!!

BILL GATES walks in, escorted by two MILITARY GUARDS.

GENERAL PLYMKIN:

YOU TOLD US WINDOWS 98 WOULD BE FASTER

AND MORE EFFICIENT WITH BETTER ACCESS TO

THE INTERNET!!!

BILL GATES:

It is faster, over five million--

Plymkin pulls out a gun and shoots him in the head. Gates

falls to the floor, dead.

GENERAL PLYMKIN:

Alright men, get lots of rest, and

prepare thyselves for battle!

INT. LA RESISTANCE - NIGHT

In the dead of night, the kids are all in a circle discussing

the plan.

GREGORY:

...after you clear this zone here,

rendezvous behind this ridge where

Terrance and Phillip should be held.

KYLE:

Gotcha.

GREGORY:

You are indeed brave, but you will need

someone who's done this sort of thing

before. MOLE!

Suddenly, a bump in the ground starts to move forward, leaving

a trail behind it. (like bugs bunny before he pops out)

The bump comes to a stop at the children's feet and out pops

THE MOLE. He is a very bitter little nine year old French

kid with a THICK French accent.

VOICE:

Oui?

GREGORY:

Thank you for coming, Mole.

THE MOLE:

So... We must free more Canadian

prizoners?

KYLE:

Yeah, I guess.

THE MOLE:

America... She iz a beetch that sheets on

her own children.

Stan and Kyle look at each other confused.

GREGORY:

This is the Mole. He will accompany you

to the prison where Terrance and Phillip

are. He is an expert in covert

operations and a lifelong fighter for

freedom.

THE MOLE:

Freedom... It's like cow's urine poured

down your troat. You wonder 'Do I want

this?' I'm thersty... But it's urine.

Everyone stares at The Mole.

GREGORY:

Good luck Stan, I'll make sure Wendy

is... kept safe?

Stan gets pissed.

KYLE:

Give me Terrance and Phillip or give me

death!!!

OTHERS:

YEA!!!

Now, Gregory breaks into song. His voice is absolutely

gorgeous and deep. He puts his hand on Stan's shoulder.

GREGORY:

God has smiled upon you this day

The fate of a nation in your

hands...

Stan and Kyle look at each other. They can't believe how good

this guy's voice is. Wendy appears enthralled.

GREGORY:

As brothers and sisters we unite

And behind you we shall fight!

Until only the most righteous

belief stands!

The music builds. Gregory gets up on a soapbox.

GREGORY:

Do you see the distant flames?

they bellow in the night

Fight in all our names

For what we know is right

And if you all get shot and cannot

carry on

Though you die, La Resistance

lives on!

KYLE:

What? Shot?

Kyle and the boys look a little worried, as other kids join

in the song.

KIDS:

You might get stabbed in the head

by a dagger or a sword

You might be burned to death

or skinned alive or worse!

GREGORY:

But when they torture you

You will not feel a need to run

For though you die, La Resistance

Lives on!

KIDS:

Do you hear the beating drum?

It is our hearts all joined to one

It is the music of our souls

knowing we have much to overcome!

As THE SONG CONTINUES we-

CUT TO:

EXT. USO SHOW - NIGHT

The MAC Mothers are on a stage, preparing two electric

chairs.

KYLE'S MOTHER

Something must be done!

Tomorrow it will be!

We're going to execute this threat

to our democracy!

All the mothers join in as they decorate the chairs with

American flags. Kenny's mother is counting money she has made

from selling t-shirts.

M.A.C. MOTHERS

And after that our kids will be

safe from all the Canadian scum!

The time is now the time is here

Tomorrow something will be done!

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