South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut Page #25

The song still CONTINUES as we

CUT TO:

EXT. HELL - CONTINUOUS

Satan stands on his veranda.

SATAN:

I want to be part of that world!

But if only I had the strength to

go without HIM...

If only I had the strength to leave

him behind...

Get on with my life in that

world...

Start over as part of that world...

CUT TO:

INT. MILITARY BARRACKS - CONTINUOUS

The soldiers, including Garrison, Mackey, Ned and Jimbo are

in their bunks.

SOLDIERS:

Tomorrow we face our destiny!

Tomorrow we fight to keep our

country free!

Death to Canada! Death to them all!

Like our forefathers we shall

answer the call!

PAN DOWN to Chef's bunk where he is lying naked with a hot

chick. As usual, Chef sings a song that has absolutely no

relevance to what's going on.

CHEF:

(Stroking woman's arm)

Baby your thighs sparkle like

diamonds

Baby your butt is tender like the

night

I can see by the look in your pants

that you want to treat me right.

I'll whisper sweet nothings in your

cleavage

And you can kiss me gently with

your tongue

And I'll make love to you so deeply

That you'll feel pressure clear up

to your lungs.

Meanwhile, the soldiers continue their song.

SOLDIERS:

Something must be done!

Something's gotta give!

Tomorrow we will be free or we will no

longer live!

CUT TO:

INT. MILITARY PRISON - CONTINUOUS

Terrance and Phillip are chained to the wall in a dark, dirty

prison cell. Two armed American soldiers are torturing

Terrance and Phillip with hot irons, as Terrance and Phillip

sing-

TERRANCE & PHILLIP

Shut your f***ing face Unclefucka!

You're an ass raping cock sucking

Unclefucka!!!

CUT TO:

EXT. LA RESISTANCE - CONTINUOUS

The kids are all gathered together, finishing their song.

One kid grabs a large flag and starts swirling it around.

KIDS:

Let it echo through the night!

Let it reach the ears of everyone!

Though we die

La Resistance lives on!

Though we die

La Resistance lives onnnn!!!!!

Ah- AHHHH!!!

FADE OUT.

EXT. SOUTH PARK AVENUE

All the South Park men are in the rank and file marching down

the street.

OFFICER:

(Singing)

I don't know but I've been told-

SOLDIERS:

I DON'T KNOW BUT I'VE BEEN TOLD!

They pass Kyle's house.

INT. KYLE'S HOUSE - ATTIC

Ike watches the soldiers march from his little attic window.

OFFICER (O.S.)

Canadian p*ssy is mighty cold!

SOLDIERS (O.S.)

CANADIAN P*SSY IS MIGHTY COLD!

Ike blinks. Does he understand them? he picks up a small

book and starts to write in it.

INT. HELL - DAY

Satan paces back and forth in hell.

SATAN:

This is it! World War Three is at hand!

The millennium nears!

Satan crosses to one of his small demons.

SATAN:

Prepare the minions for the rising of

Gothos!

The demon dashes off.

SADDAM HUSSEIN:

This is so exciting! Let's f***!

Satan sighs and bows his head.

SATAN:

This is the millennium, Saddam! This is

Armageddon! There's more to life than

sex!

SADDAM HUSSEIN:

Hey, relax guy!

SATAN:

Well I just want you to be impressed with

what I do. I want you to respect my MIND.

SADDAM HUSSEIN:

I DO respect your mind! It turns me on!

It makes me wanna f*** the sh*t out of

you! Don't you see?

MUSIC BEGINS.

SADDAM HUSSEIN:

(Singing)

Hey guy, relax, put out

You gotta put out for me!

I'm just a man with needs

And right now I need your

generosity!

I love your eyes, your nose and

lips

So drop those pants and do some

dips

Come on guy, you gotta relax

relax, put out for me!

Kenny looks confused.

SATAN:

What if I, don't wanna put out?

That's all you ever say

Relax put out

I'm a living creature, I have

feelings too, I don't need this

abuse from you-

SADDAM HUSSEIN:

Hey, guy, relax, put out!

You gotta relax, shut your mouth-

Baby I'd do anything for ya!

Now don't make me smack you in the

eye like last time-

Kenny keeps watching as Saddam throws on a Shakey's hat and

does a quick softshoe. Satan rolls his eyes.

SADDAM HUSSEIN:

I get what I want, and what I want

is for youuuuu toooo put ooooout!!!

Saddam finishes the song and Satanhangs his head.

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