South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut Page #29

SATAN:

No! Not Saddam. Don't wake him... Uh...

I'll tell him...

Satan walks to the bedroom.

EXT. INTERNMENT CAMP - ELECTRICAL BOX AREA

Cartman approaches the electrical box nervously -- looking

all around for soldiers.

He opens the door to the electrical box and sees a large

switch labeled ON and OFF. He reaches to turn off the switch

when he feels a tap on his shoulder.

Cartman jumps.

CARTMAN:

Agh!!!

Then turns and karate-chops in one spastic flurry to see -

KENNY!!

CARTMAN:

Son of a gun! HECK!

Kenny's ghost is again floating in front of Cartman. Kenny

again struggles to speak.

CARTMAN:

GO AWAY, KENNY! IT'S NOT MY GOSH DARN

FAULT!

KENNY:

Mph rmprmmh rm!!

CARTMAN:

I don't have proofs of purchases from

Snacky Smores, Kenny!

KENNY:

MPH RMPH RMPH RMPH RM!!!

CARTMAN:

AGAGAH!!

Cartman runs off, leaving the power completely on.

INT. KYLE'S HOUSE - ATTIC - NIGHT

Ike is still just sitting quietly in the dark attic.

Suddenly, the attic door bursts open!

AMERICAN SOLDIER

Found one!

Other soldiers file into the attic and grab Ike by the arms.

AMERICAN SOLDIER

Yep, that's a Canadian alright.

IKE:

Sibi mammama.

The American Soldier picks up Ike.

AMERICAN SOLDIER

So, thought you could hide from us, did

you?! Take him away!

The soldiers drag Ike down the stairs.

AMERICAN SOLDIER 2

Sir, look at this!

(Holding up a book)

He was writing some kind of diary...

AMERICAN SOLDIER

Diary? What does it say?

AMERICAN SOLDIER 2

(Reading)

Cookie monster. Banana.

Sweeping, moving MUSIC STING.

EXT. INTERNMENT CAMP - STAN AND KYLE'S AREA

Kyle is patiently awaiting Mole's return.

KYLE:

Damn it! Come on, Mole we're running out

of time!

Kyle spins around when he hears someone coming.

But it's only Cartman. He's panting heavily.

CARTMAN:

You guys! Seriously! You guys!

KYLE:

What Cartman?!

CARTMAN:

Kenny! I saw Kenny again!

STAN:

Oh, brother.

KYLE:

Did you shut the alarm off, Cartman?

Cartman stops breathing heavily and thinks.

KYLE:

Cartman?!

CARTMAN:

Whoops.

Just then, all the alarms in the place go off.

KYLE:

Oh sh*t!

From the distance, the boys hear gunshots.

Suddenly, the Mole pops out of the hole. The boys see that

The Mole has been shot up badly.

THE MOLE:

Ze alarms! Zey went off!

CARTMAN:

Yeah... That was my bad, sorry.

As SHOUTS and RUNNING FOOTSTEPS draw closer, The Mole lays

down and begins to die in Kyle's arms.

THE MOLE:

Please... Do not let ze resistance die...

Gentle MUSIC begins.

THE MOLE:

Now the light, she fades

And darkness closes in

But I will find strength

I will find pride within

Because although I die

Our freedom will be won

Though I die

Ze Resistance

Lives on...

The Music fades away, as the Mole coughs up some blood.

THE MOLE:

It's so very cold...

KYLE:

We can't leave without you!

THE MOLE:

It's okay, I am done for.

KYLE:

No, I mean WE CAN'T LEAVE WITHOUT YOU -

we don't know where the hell we are!!

The Mole coughs up more blood.

THE MOLE:

Where is your God when you need him?

Where is your beautiful, merciful f*ggot

now?

The Mole dies.

KYLE:

SH*T!

VOICE:

FREEZE!!

The boys look up to see three large MARINES pointing guns at

them.

Stan makes a run for it. He dashes off at full speed.

KYLE:

Run, Stan!!

One of the soldiers fires at him. PWANG! PWANG! But Stan

disappears into the night.

PENTAGON GUY:

Forget him! The night will swallow him

up.

MARINE:

You are under arrest! Cuff 'em!

KYLE:

What?

PENTAGON:

So THIS must be the resistance the

pentagon has been tracking!

CARTMAN:

Oh, son of a b*tch...

EXT. USO SHOW - NIGHT

Kyle's mother, and the other mothers of MAC, take the stage

again.

KYLE'S MOTHER

And now, for our big finale, the MOMENT

YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!!!

Terrance and Phillip are wheeled out onto the stage.

TERRANCE:

Oh, Phillip. This cannot be good.

PHILLIP:

I know, Terrance. This is quite the

shitstorm we've found ourselves in this

time.

From the other side, Kyle's mom appears with a couple of

official looking military people. The crowd cheers.

KYLE'S MOM

It is my pleasure to present to you, THE

EXECUTION OF TERRANCE AND PHILLIP!!!

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