South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut Page #8
- Year:
- 1999
- 911 Views
DOCTOR GAUCHE:
NURSE:
Watch his liver!!!
Kenny's liver POPS out of his torso and slides across the
floor.
ASSISTANT:
I'll get it!!!
DOCTOR GAUCHE:
We have precious little time left people!
We're going to lose him soon!!
Suddenly, there is a long, BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.
NURSE:
Doctor, his heart's stopped!
DOCTOR GAUCHE:
Crack him. Let's get it out of there!!!
Doctor Gauche lifts Kenny's heart out of his body.
DOCTOR GAUCHE:
We need to zap this, quick!
And runs it to the microwave. He opens the door.
DOCTOR GAUCHE:
Who's making a potato?
DOCTOR 2
My bad, sir. I missed lunch.
DOCTOR GAUCHE:
Damn it! I am NOT going to lose this
kid!!!!!!
Fade up from black. We're close on Kenny's face. His little
eyes start to open.
Doctor Gauche leans over him Kenny. Stan and Kyle are
there.
DOCTOR GAUCHE:
Kenny. Kenny, can you hear me?
Kenny stirs.
KENNY:
(Weakly)
Mph rmph rm...
DOCTOR GAUCHE:
How are you feeling, son?
KENNY:
mph.... rmph....
DOCTOR GAUCHE:
Great... Son, I have some bad news. We
accidentally replaced your heart with a
baked potato. You have about seven
seconds to live.
KENNY:
Mrm?!
Just then, Kenny's baked potato heart explodes, splattering
gore all over the inside of the recovery room and on the
outside of Dr. Gauche, Stan and Kyle.
STAN:
KYLE:
You bastards!!
DOCTOR GAUCHE:
Damn it! It never gets any easier!
Anybody get the score of that Broncos
game?
Kyle's mother is waiting with the rest of the parents.
The nurse walks up to Kenny's parents with a sad expression.
NURSE:
I'm sorry...
KENNY'S MOTHER
Oh my God, they killed Kenny!
KENNY'S DAD
You bastards!
KYLE'S MOTHER
I knew this would happen! Those bastard
Canadians have now killed a child! Can't
people see the damage that film is
doing?!
STAN'S MOTHER
He was killed doing something he saw in
the movie. It was Terrance and Phillip...
THEY killed Kenny.
CARTMAN'S MOTHER
You bastards.
KYLE'S MOTHER
This is it! The time for action is NOW!!
(Singing)
Something must be done!
This is like a spreading rash!
They're pulling out our children's
brains
and filling them with trash!
Can't you see what this is leading
to?
A world of smut and sex and poo!
I believe the good fight has begun!
Something must be done!
Everyone gathers around Kyle's mother.
STAN'S MOTHER
I agree!
(Singing)
Something must be done!
We must take action fast!
My child used to say 'please and
thank you'
Now he says suck my ass!
CARTMAN'S MOTHER
And my boy was the sweetest boy the
world had ever known!
until those damn Canadians brought
that filth into our home!
I agree that there is now a battle
to be won!
We can't just stand here singing!
Something must be done!
KENNY'S MOTHER
But what are we going to do against the
media machine? It's so big and powerful!
KYLE'S MOTHER
Right! And we can use that same media
machine to exploit OUR cause! We've got
to let the whole world know what the
Canadians did to your son!
PARENTS:
Yeah!!
KYLE'S MOTHER
COME ON!
The parents all head out the door-
EXT. HOSPITAL - CONTINUOUS
The doors to the hospital swing open, and the parents march
out into the street, singing in unison as they go.
PARENTS:
(Singing)
Something must be done!
Something's gotta give!
This world has become a b*tch in
which
we have no desire to live!
Cars come screeching to a halt as the parents sing in the
middle of the road. People start honking their horns in
frustration.
KENNY'S MOTHER
My boy could have become a doctor
Or a lawyer rich and true
Instead he burned up like a piggy
on a bar-b-que!
KYLE'S MOTHER
We will fight for children's rights
in memory of your son!
PARENTS:
We can't just stand here singing!
Something must be done!
Cars are now smashing into each other, and flying off the
road to people's deaths, as the music number has taken over
the busy intersection.
PARENTS:
We've pushed and pushed it to the
edge
And now the time has come!
Something's gotta change!
It's time to buy a gun!
We can't just stand here singing
No we can't just stand here singing
No we can't just stand here
singing!
Something must be done!!!
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"South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 Jul 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/south_park:_bigger,_longer_and_uncut_511>.
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