South Park Page #6

Just as suddenly as it started, the music stops and Cartman

goes back to his normal self. The boys all stare at each

other. Cartman looks absolutely baffled.

STAN:

What the hell was that?!

KYLE:

He is under alien control. That thing

in his butt is linked up to the

visitors.

CARTMAN:

Oh, son of a b*tch.

ACT III FADE OUT

FADE IN:

CARTMAN:

You guys shut up, I'm not under alien

control.

Kyle walks up to Cartman's ear and starts screaming in it.

KYLE:

HEY!! IF YOU VISITORS CAN HEAR ME --

BRING ME BACK MY LITTLE BROTHER GOD

DAMMIT!

CARTMAN:

Ow! That hurts, you butt licker!

Suddenly, a small alien scout ship flies by.

STAN:

KYLE, LOOK! It's them!

Kyle picks a rock up off the ground.

KYLE:

GIVE ME BACK MY BROTHER!

Kyle throws the rock at the UFO. DING! The UFO stops and

fires a yellow ray at the boys.

The ray hits Kenny, and blows him back several yards. Kenny

lands with a horrible bone breaking CRUNCH!

STAN:

Oh my God!! They killed Kenny!

KYLE:

YOU BASTARDS!! COME BACK HERE!! COME

BAAAAACK!

But the little UFO's disappear into the sky.

KYLE:

DAMMIT! We were so close!

STAN:

Hey, look - I think Kenny's okay!

Kenny manages to pick himself up off the ground. He looks

pretty bad, but he might be-

Just then the cows come stampeding through and run over Kenny.

KENNY:

Mff mrrr mph VWOOM!!

Officer Barbrady's car races through frame and runs over

Kenny. The boys walk over to Kenny's bleeding body.

STAN:

Wow, poor Kenny.

KYLE:

Now do you believe us Cartman?

CARTMAN:

No!

STAN:

Cartman, they KILLED Kenny!

CARTMAN:

He's not dead.

STAN:

Dude, Kenny is dead! See?!

CARTMAN:

Shut up, you guys.

KYLE:

(Pulling Kenny's head

off)

He's DEAD, Cartman.

CARTMAN:

GOD DAMMIT I DIDN'T HAVE AN ANAL

PROBE!!!

There is a long pause.

CARTMAN:

Screw you guys, I'm going home!

Cartman walks away.

KYLE:

Go on and go home you Fat Chicken!

CARTMAN (O.S.)

Dildo!

KYLE:

You're all I have left, Stan.

STAN:

Sorry dude, I gotta go meet Wendy

Testaburger.

KYLE:

You can't! Poor Ike must be so

scared... Up there all alone... You

gotta help me dude!

STAN:

Dude, like Chef says, I gotta get a

piece of loving while the gettin's

hot.

Stan walks away.

Rats come into frame and feast on Kenny's dead body.

KYLE:

Rats!

INT. CARTMAN'S HOUSE - DUSK

Cartman walks into his house and is greeted by his overly

pleasant MOTHER.

MRS. CARTMAN

Hello Eric.

CARTMAN:

Hi Mom.

MRS. CARTMAN

How are you doing?

CARTMAN:

Well, I'm pissed off.

MRS. CARTMAN

Here, I made you powder doughnut

pancake surprise.

CARTMAN:

I don't want powder doughnut pancake

surprise! All the kids at school

call me fat!

MRS. CARTMAN

You're not fat, you're big boned.

CARTMAN:

That's what I said.

MRS. CARTMAN

You can have an eency weency bit

can't you?

CARTMAN:

NO!

MRS. CARTMAN

Just a weency eency woo woo.

CARTMAN:

NO leave me alone mom!

MRS. CARTMAN

How about a nice chocolate chicken

potpie, then?

CARTMAN:

What? Well that does sound pretty

good.

Cartman sits down at the couch and turns on the T.V.

CARTMAN:

Uh, Mom?

MRS. CARTMAN

Yes, hon?

CARTMAN:

If anybody calls or comes over - I'm

not here, okay?

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