Spaceman Page #4
- R
- Year:
- 2016
- 90 min
- 572 Views
Okay. This is just an open invitation.
Let's go.
Feel free to think it over.
Yeah, sorry, guys, I just
don't see this in the cards.
It's not you, it's me, trust me.
It's just timing.
No problem. We wish
you good luck always.
But hey,
say the stars were
to align for you boys,
how soon would you need me?
We have a game tomorrow night.
Could I hit cleanup?
You can hit anywhere
you want in the lineup.
Anywhere.
but no pressure, huh?
All right, well, maybe I'll
stop by and say hello sometime.
Anytime.
Spaceman.
All right.
"To whom
it may concern..."
Oh, let me sign it.
I gotta sign it.
The truth is, I wasn't ready for
the damn beer leagues quite yet.
No disrespect, but I still
wanted to strike out Garvey,
not Jacques from accounting.
My brood and I sat down together
and sent letters to each of the
other 11 national league teams.
They were heartfelt and honest.
Now it was just
made the most attractive offer.
And like a good Buddhist, I intended to
stay entirely unattached to the results.
Hey.
What the...
Sully...
Sully, you cocksucker.
What are you doing with my mail?
What are you doing?
Are you in on this?
I... no. I'm not in on nothing.
Where's the rest of my mail?
I'm delivering the mail.
You let go of my bag.
Give it to me. I'm a
government employee!
That's not yours.
So long, Sully.
See you tomorrow.
Okay!
- Hey, hey!
- What?
Pittsburgh!
What?
Pittsburgh.
Yep. You know, I always
wanted to live in Pittsburgh.
Really?
No, well...
You know, all right.
"Dear bill. Thank you
for your thoughtful letter.
"Indeed, we finished last
season in dead last place.
"Yes, our pitching staff
is in such dire shape
"that we don't know how we are
going to get through this season."
"However, we have enough problems
without adding you to the mix.
"We will not be requiring
your services at this time."
Hey, you know what?
F*** those guys.
F*** 'em.
We got a positive
mental attitude.
That's' the way
to survive, my friend.
Positive mental attitude.
Where are you going?
It's in overtime.
Here's one.
Why do Canadians
do it doggy style?
So they can both watch
the hockey game.
Hey, fellas.
Bill Lee.
Hmm.
So, uh, who do I speak to about
Well, the equipment manager,
he'll be back in a sec.
He just ran out to
pick up the catering.
There's a Jersey and cap
in the garbage bag over there.
We supply our own pants,
shoe and well,
everything else.
Yeah, well,
I usually wear 37.
Not today.
Welcome.
Oh, hey.
Hey.
So, did you meet
some of the guys?
Yeah, it's a tough group.
Yeah.
So, where's
the rest of the team?
So far, we only have
eight today.
It is sometimes a challenge to
field with guys, unfortunately.
Oh, Christ.
Well, like I said, this is
a one night stand, so...
Yeah.
Any real fans coming to these
games or just local hobos?
Mostly hobos.
Nervous?
Ah... no. No.
Well...
You better start
warming up, big guy.
We're playing
new Brunswick tonight.
They are the league champions
three years running.
Oh, okay.
Hmm.
Thank you.
What are they saying?
Nothing good.
Basically, they would like nothing
more than to beat us to a bloody pulp
and then mount your head
on their wall for posterity.
Okay, I get it.
It's hunting season
and I'm the prized caribou.
The biggest rack.
Well, guess what?
I live for this sh*t.
Uh, I think you missed the exit for the
ice rink. This is baseball, frenchie.
All right, listen, I throw all kinds
of sh*t, so I hope you can keep up.
My bread and butter
is the off-speed stuff.
Sliders, curves,
the occasional eephus.
You with me?
Okay, don't ask for a fastball
because you ain't
getting it. All right?
There are only have so many silver
bullets left in the chamber
for guys like me and I sure as
f*** ain't wasting them out here.
Got it?
Oh, Christ. Can somebody
please translate?
Hey.
Hey.
Let's start anew here. My name is
bill Lee, formerly of nos amours.
Joseph Cartwright,
formerly of El Detroit.
Oh, the tigers?
United auto workers.
Oh. So you transferred?
Uh, no, laid off. Married
Here we are.
Oh, sh*t! Don't look now but I think I
just spotted a scout in the stands.
That ain't no damn scout.
Definitely is. I think I
recognize him from Minnesota.
Trust me. It's not.
How do you know?
That's my father-in-law.
Hi! Woman next to him is
my wife, unfortunately.
Hmm.
Oh, I could've swore I
recognized him from the majors.
Anyway, tell frenchie here
that it's gonna be
the third signal in the series.
No fastballs.
Just tell him to trust me,
I know what I'm doing here.
He says that he respects
that you're the big leaguer.
Oh...
Thank you.
F***ing balls!
Yay!
Here.
Me, me, me...
Ugh... oh...
Strike!
And he's
mid-stroke, right?
And all of a sudden he hears
the husband come home.
It must have been summer Fridays
or something. I don't know.
Anyway, he finishes,
then he jumps out the window
buck naked, into a rose bush,
he's got thorns everywhere.
Goes on the fifteen day dl
and guess what the papers said?
What?
Tendonitis.
And it wasn't me.
I swear to god, it wasn't me.
I'm truly sorry
you're not interested
in continuing to play with us.
But you know, you're
always welcome back.
Well, thank you, Gino.
I appreciate that.
It's just that I got to figure out
which team I'm gonna be playing with.
I gotta sort out my family situation.
You know the deal.
Of course.
All right, boys,
I'll see you around.
Hey, hey, bill.
Hold up.
Hey, I want you to have this.
No, Joe.
That's your Jersey.
No, no.
You're 37.
I want you to have it.
I insist.
Hey, you might want
to give that a scrub, huh?
Maybe twice.
I appreciate it.
You take care.
Good luck.
Later, boys!
Bye, bye.
Yes, hi.
It's dick Dennis.
Uh, just following up again.
Yeah.
Well, just, uh,
let him know that I called.
And, uh, you know, we have to have
an answer by the end of the week,
or else we're left
with no choice,
we gotta move on down the list.
I know I said that last week,
but I mean it now.
I mean.
Just tell him
I called. Okay?
Really? We have a
symbiotic relationship.
You are a server.
I am a consumer.
If you do not serve,
I cannot consume,
and therefore, you throw
the delicate ecosystem
of our relationship
out of balance.
So another, s'il vous plait
I... I don't got
anymore of that.
Oh, but, did you see this? What?
by the YMCA
on bill's behalf, urging
the team to bring him back.
Hmm. Good.
Montreal is a good fall back.
Oh, so, you haven't heard?
Heard what?
Well, word's getting around they
already decided to give him a shot.
When?
When hell freezes over.
He's starting and hitting
cleanup.
I'm glad you find this funny.
It's just a man's life
you're talking about.
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"Spaceman" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/spaceman_18603>.
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