Spring Forward Page #3

While he was having his coffee. While he shaved.

Even when he was losing his shirt at the pub.

He'd make this effort to sing.

- You believe what goes around comes around?

- Yeah, sure.

So, my life has been so f***ed up

because I was bad?

Like, I was sending out bad karma?

No, it's a different thing entirely.

You get a bad break.

A little bad fortune.

Couple of bad breaks.

You get into a cycle like we were talking about.

Routine.

I gotta break the routine?

Yeah.

How?

One thing would be not to be so apologetic

about your jail term.

- You think I am?

- Yeah.

You were in a tough spot.

You made a mistake. You got caught.

- Put it behind you.

- But it's good for me.

- How?

- Well, I...

Learned the rules of society, you know?

Paid my debt to society.

I realized I lived amongst others.

- Paid my debt to society.

- You knew the rules beforehand.

You broke 'em. You were in a tough spot.

But still, I had...

How does your jail time affect things

that put you in a tough spot in the first place?

As a matter of fact...

...see, with the apologizing

and making up you do for it...

...might make you worse.

- No, I wouldn't say that. Definitely not.

- Okay. Fine.

Wait a minute.

- Are you talking about me owing you money?

- No.

The fact that you worry about it,

like I'm watching you.

Remember that day last week?

Three times you said there was no water

in your room, so you couldn't shave.

- You thought I was lying?

- No.

You don't owe me anything, okay? Nothing.

You and me, we're the same. That's it.

If I lend you money, I tell you

I want you to forget it, I want you to forget it.

You're starting to bug me

that you apologize for stuff all the time.

Be who you are. Say what you want.

- I can handle that, okay?

- Okay.

Give me back the wallet.

I'm gonna take it over there to his house.

So he'll know I know who he is.

He knows I know what he did.

I know where he lives.

I know who his parents are.

And I'm giving him a break.

That puts some good karma out there,

over the plate.

Karma. F***.

- Quit saying "f***."

- Okay! Jeez.

What the f***?

I'll just get out of here, okay?

Let me get my stuff out. No force! Okay?

Brooks. Fran Brooks.

Who's that?

My God. You're Fran Brooks.

- Who the f*** are you?

- Watch your mouth.

- You're Fran Brooks.

- Who the f*** are you?

- I said watch your mouth!

- I'm Murphy from Parks and Rec.

Rob...

- Bobby Murphy's father.

- Who?

I'm Bobby Murphy's father.

Mr. Murphy?

You got a cigarette, sir?

Give him a cigarette.

This is Paul.

- Hi.

- Hey.

What are you doing in there?

- Fran, what are you doing back there?

- What does it look like, sir?

- You living in there?

- Looks that way.

- You can't live under there.

- I have been.

- It's illegal!

- You gonna call the police?

Take it easy, Paul.

- So, what's your plan?

- Plan? No plan, sir.

You're not still drinking, are you?

You, sir?

You hungry?

I am, sir.

I'm gonna give you some money.

Go over to the deli at the Grand Union.

- They won't let me in.

- That's what's-his-name. You know...

- He don't want me there.

- I told you he was a prick.

- Stuck up!

- Right?

Look...

- I don't have any money.

- Me? I still owe you...

Let's see if we can turn Dennis Ramirez's...

...karma around.

Go over there. Get a table. Order up some eggs.

I'll just...

I'll be a few minutes.

I don't want to leave the tools.

- You want a fried-egg hero?

- Yeah.

How is Bobby, Mr. Murphy?

- I heard he was doing well. Some big job.

- He's fine.

Hey, Frannie?

Actually, he's not doing so good.

He's got a health problem.

I'm sorry to hear that, sir.

I always liked Bobby.

I know you did.

Things will be better.

They're gonna be looking up.

I hope so.

Jesus!

Everything's out of whack.

What?

Is it the money? 'Cause I'll buy you the pills.

No.

If you take drugs, you reduce your body's

ability to fight the allergy itself.

Drugs?

It's an antihistamine. Doctors take them.

- What? It's not a natural thing to do?

- No, it's not.

If you want to go see this car naturally,

you could walk.

Christ, Murph, come on!

What's with "natural"? Okay, "natural."

Science is not a bad thing.

I know. I'm just trying to balance my body.

Mind and body clean. Keep 'em one.

- The hangovers last week, what was that?

- Okay.

I would call that an imbalance, all right?

Of course,

the aspirin you took for that was science.

This happens to me every year. I'm used to it.

Maybe it's part of a mutation process.

I'll survive the greenhouse effect, you won't.

You think somebody wants you to survive,

looking the way you look?

Sh*t. Come on. I told the car guy by 12:30.

45 Oakridge Way.

I don't know why you have to have a car.

I don't mind picking you up on the way in.

It's the summer, all right?

I'm lonely. I wanna get laid.

Maybe you ought to tell the girls

you don't have a car.

That's a good tactic.

Sometimes you're so lame, you know that?

What are you doing?

You're killing yourself with all these rules.

What's killing me right now is listening to you.

All the classics, all the time, on WMRA.

The other night, I couldn't take it anymore.

I wanted sex.

I'm sorry, I don't know any other way to say it.

I'm a guy.

So I went down to the Ancient Mariner.

It's always full of yuppies. I don't care.

I gotta get laid. Start talking to this girl, Julie.

28. Stacked. Beautiful. Drunk.

She's there with her girlfriends

and their two boyfriends.

- What, she's like a fifth wheel?

- Yeah.

I'm dressed exactly like the boyfriends.

I got the chinos, polo shirt...

...docksiders...

- Docksiders?

- They're like boat shoes.

- For when you go out on your boat?

They all wear 'em, okay?

So I told her I work in my father's gardening firm

selling gardening supplies.

She says, "You know, you got a great body.

"How'd you get so tanned?"

Of course, I'm drunk and I wasn't thinking.

"I work outside all day with my shirt off."

- "I thought you sold garden supplies."

- Exactly.

- B*tch just gets up, turns around...

- Come on.

The snot gets up, gives me this look like "later"...

...gets her two friends and leaves.

Like I wasn't good enough for her or something.

How would a '77 Datsun change this?

I could have left with her.

I could have gone for a drive.

I got a car. I would have seemed like less of a...

- Less of a what? A liar?

- Come on. What's a lie?

That's when you're not telling the truth.

- Mr. Philosopher.

- Okay.

- What?

- You're so one-track minded!

"I go in the bar to get laid."

Not, "I go to have a good time,

see what's going on."

That's pretty narrow, you know?

What are you? The Dalai Lama?

"Hello, Dolly..."

Sometimes when it gets heavy like this

I just start hallucinating.

- I've been having these weird dreams.

- Why not close your eyes?

Come on. Take 10.

I wrote down this one dream,

I'm supposed to be hunting this big animal.

Like a monster or something.

I got this huge gun.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes