Starsky & Hutch Page #5

- How we doing?

- Great.

- Your fondue put us over the top.

- Really?

Which one do you like?

We're gonna stick to this.

- I have a thing for blondes.

- Good. I'll take anything.

They're sweet little angels.

In two minutes,

I want you to grab my guitar...

...bring it to me,

put it in my hands and step back.

- You play?

- Just bring me the guitar.

Wait. Hey, hey, where's the sugar?

I don't think I have any.

- That's great. He's a cop.

- Come here.

- Both of you.

- You're so funny.

It's like a magpie convention in here.

Let's get the cup out.

Thank you, Big Earl.

Do you ever get scared out there,

on the streets?

Yeah. I'd like to say no,

but the truth is, I do sometimes.

I'm one of those guys that's more about

helping others than helping myself.

- There we go.

- It's all I knew.

It's more that there's someone

I might not be able to help.

A citizen that needs aid,

or even an animal.

- Look what I found.

- Put that away. Put it away!

Hutch, you gotta play.

Come on. Play, play. Please.

Don't you wanna play?

Come on. Hutch!

All right. Holly, turn off the music.

- Now, come on!

- Oh, sorry.

Look alive. Let's go.

- Hutch is gonna play.

- What have you gotten me into, Starsky?

- Thought we were partners.

- Come on, Hutch!

One, two, three.

- That was great, Hutch!

- Come on, you guys.

It was just a guy here with a guitar,

singing his heart out.

Starsky's bored.

- Anybody else bored?

- What?

- A club could be fun.

- Club. Yeah.

Okay, I'll get some more coffee

and then we'll go.

Is he okay?

Isn't this place great?

Do you like places like this?

You're a cheerleader,

so you're dancing in formation.

This place can't be fun,

because it's like you're at work.

Are you okay?

You seem kind of wound up.

Wound up?

No, I'm just pumped. I'm excited.

Rock-solid, ready to go. A little bit

paranoid, but feeling really good.

- Can I kiss you?

- Okay.

- Watch it, man.

- Excuse me?

I said, watch it. Floor's for dancing.

You can tell by the lights.

- Wanna tangle, curly?

- Come on. No.

- No, we're gonna dance.

- No, no, no.

Curly wants to tangle.

- Do you really want a piece of this?

- I don't want a piece.

I want the whole thing.

Yeah!

- Oh, my, folks!

- Please don't do this.

- Don't worry. I can take him.

- It's not that.

You shouldn't do this

because it's so lame.

Tonight, our own Dancing Rick

is being called out...

...by new guy David Stamsky.

- No, no, Starsky.

Back at you.

If you've got a pair of sunglasses...

...I'd put them on, because I got a feeling

these two are gonna light it up!

Boz, reel it in!

All right, settle down.

Everybody settle.

You know the rules.

Keep it safe, keep it sexy...

...and above all, turn up the night!

Dancing Rick getting warmed up here.

What's he gonna bring out

for the appetizer course?

Oh, it's a little hand-over-hand tuggle, man,

right into the center of the floor.

That's all he's giving him.

That's a bucketful of confidence.

Over to new guy David Starsky.

This guy could be trouble.

It's the Wild West.

Those are six-guns full of sexy.

The good, the bad and the groovy.

One, two, three, four,

we've got disco war, folks.

Dancing Rick's going, "I don't like you,

but I respect your moves. "

Here comes Starsky again.

Driving that disco big rig.

Shift gears, blow your funky horn.

Pull into the truck stop and get yourself

some scrapple made out of sexy.

Disco Rick brings it right back

and he's not wasting any time, folks.

From the future of 1984,

that's a funky disco robot.

They're both on the floor, folks,

eye to eye. It's disco Vietnam.

Neither one's blinking or backing down.

Let's see what happens.

Angry cat.

Kitten has claws.

All right, looks like it's over.

Remember, $2 Harvey Wall...

Oh, my God!

David Starsky, taking it over the line!

How about that?

Very sexy, very macho.

But that's a little too close to call.

We'll have to depend on our patented

American Lights Applause-O-Meter.

So let's bring out our combatants, folks.

Come on, big hand for them.

Here we go.

First off, over to my man,

Dancing Rick.

And over to the new guy,

David Starsky.

Folks, pretty close.

I hate to do this...

...but I gotta give it to my man

Dancing Rick.

Boo! Boo!

What? Hey, hey, do it again!

That's B.S.

- What?

- I won. Do the applause thing again!

It was just for fun. Forget it...

- I said, do it again, liar!

- Not cool, not cool!

- Liar! Do it again!

- All right.

Hey, hey, settle down.

Settle down.

I'm a cop. It's cool.

It's okay.

It's okay, it's okay!

Calm down, people.

Bay City P.D.

We got him.

We're gonna get you home.

- Where am I?

- You were freaking out.

- I had to take you down.

- What?

There we go.

Easy does it.

Here we go.

I think I was drugged.

Sounds like you did coke.

I mean, from what I've read

about the effects.

I don't use coke.

I had coffee tonight.

- What is that?

- Sweetener, right?

The stuff from Earl?

What are you doing with this?

- Hutch?

- Where'd you get this?

- I beat that guy. What was that about?

- You did.

- You won. You danced your heart out.

- And everybody saw it.

- Sleep.

- I was robbed.

I know. We was robbed.

We was robbed.

Go to sleep.

Go to sleep, tiny dancer. All right.

Jesus Christ.

- Is he okay?

- Oh, yeah, he's okay.

He just needs to sleep it off.

Quite a night, huh?

You can say that again.

Guess it's kind of winding down.

- Well, it doesn't have to be over.

- What do you mean?

Where did that come from?

I just want you to know,

I really like your partner.

- I know, he's such a good guy.

- This is just, like, whatever.

I don't think we even have to judge it.

It's too natural.

- Okay.

- It's just...

You guys wanna kiss? Yeah.

I hear somebody stirring.

There he is.

I feel for you.

Jesus! Please, turn that off!

Easy, killer.

Just a blender.

- What time is it?

- Time for Hutch's hangover cure.

- What's in it?

- Pepto-Bismol, Aunt Jemima mix...

...Tang and a little flat Tab.

Most important thing.

And a raw egg.

Saves lives. Trust me.

And?

- It's good.

- What did I tell you?

Sorry about last night.

- Thanks for taking care of the girls.

- Hey, no problem. Happy to do it.

What are partners for?

Speaking of which...

...I checked this stuff out and even though

it tastes like sugar, that is cocaine.

- You sure?

- I'm sure...

...Stacey's sure, Holly's sure...

How do you like your eggs?

Didn't Huggy mention something

about a coke deal going down?

"One for the Guinness Book,"

was how he put it.

Seems like a big coincidence.

Why don't I drive?

You don't look good.

No. If I'm alive, I drive.

Rhyming already, you must be...

- You okay?

- I'm fine.

He blew out my fricking window!

All right! Enough with the car!

We get it!

Stop shooting my car!

Okay, cover me. Say when.

Go!

Zebra to base,

I want you to run a plate.

Larry, one, apple, nine, eight, four.

Larry, one, apple, nine, eight, four.

- Damn it!

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