Starsky & Hutch Page #7

me at my daughter's bat mitzvah.

In my own house, no less.

Have some perspective.

We're almost finished.

We're a few days from closing

a $35-million deal. Let it slide.

Yeah, I'll let it slide. When they're dead.

Why did I get so lucky?

I don't know, I just love

when you talk so tough.

Of course you do. That's why

you're my girlfriend on the side.

Hey, Hutch.

"Ruin me!"

Excuse me, let me have

a minute with my friend.

He didn't care if he got ruined. That was

the whole point of the episode. Did you...?

Hutch, you gonna have to lay up off

of this juice. You had too much to drink.

Come on. I feel like a million bucks.

Just laughing, having a good time.

It ain't even funny no more.

There used to be a time here when you

peed against the wall, you did it outside.

Lighten up, it's Friday night.

Okay? It's a bar.

Hutch, it's Wednesday afternoon, man.

Snap out of it.

- What time is it?

- It's 5:
00, man.

Sh*t. I'm supposed to pick up Willis at 3.

Huggy, I'm sorry, we...

Hutch! Hey, Hutch! You home?

You were supposed to pick me up

at 3:
00 today. What happened?

Deadbeat.

If you could have yourself one wish,

what would it be for?

"Mama put the salt back on a

straight line with the pepper...

...and got that look like when

she be telling me that old wise stuff.

She told Nobie he

should wish for... "

Good friends. Free to Be You and Me.

That's what Mama tells Nobie to wish for.

- Well, well, well.

- How you doing, Willis?

- I'm pretty good.

- Yeah? Got you something.

Damn. A wrist rocket.

- Watch out with that thing. Very powerful.

- Cool. Thanks, Starsky.

Pretty sure those are illegal.

Even though you're my friend...

...might have to report you to Doby.

All right. Okay, look, Hutch, can we...?

Is it all right if I talk

to you outside?

No, I better stay here with the kid.

All right. Hey, feel better, all right?

You got it.

- Can you believe that guy? What a...

- Hutch, the man was trying to apologize.

Dig this, man. Someone once said...

..."To err is human, to forgive, divine. "

What idiot said that?

I believe that was God,

the greatest mack of all.

David. David.

Yeah.

Okay, so, what did you wanna say?

Nothing. Apparently you're too busy

and I'm not worth it. It's fine.

- Really, it's good.

- Come on, let's hear it.

There's nothing that... I just was gonna

say that I think you're a good cop.

- Okay, well, thank you.

- And I am...

...sorry about what I wrote in the report.

Yeah, because I'm telling you, I felt like

I'd just gotten my world rocked...

- Are you crying?

- What's that?

- Are you crying?

- No, I'm not crying. You're crying.

It's okay to cry. People cry.

That's great, but I'm not crying. I'm not a

crier. I don't cry. I work out. I have hobbies.

- Come here.

- What?

- Come here. I forgive you, all right?

- Okay.

I forgive you.

Okay, that's probably enough.

That's enough.

- All right?

- Okay.

- Are we good?

- Yeah, we're good.

Because we got some people

that want us dead.

They took a shot at you. They tried to

blow up my house, almost killed little Willis.

We gotta do... Now what?

Nothing. I'm just excited.

Let's get these scumbags!

- Get them! That's what I wanna see.

- Let's get them!

- Get some tissues. Let's go.

- What are you doing?

- Damn. I'll tell you that.

- Look, I'm telling you, it's right here.

Reese is meeting with the biggest drug

dealers in back alleys all over the place.

But talking isn't illegal.

Yeah, the guy's not stupid.

He knows how to stay clean.

Dirty ones always do.

We gotta find a way to get close to him,

get inside and hear what's going on.

It's gonna be tough.

The guy knows what we look like.

He doesn't know what

Huggy Bear looks like.

Man, this is a bunch of crap.

I am an urban informant. I am not a snitch.

- Come on, Huggy, what's the difference?

- A snitch wears a wire.

A snitch is the scum

of the information industry.

A snitch has no soul.

Damn, man, that sh*t hurt.

- I'm sorry.

- You got to be more careful.

We wouldn't ask you to do this

unless it was really important.

- I'm gonna owe you one.

- More than one, man.

Let's slow down with the scorekeeping.

I might remember...

...stuff I've overlooked over the years,

then mention it to my partner here.

How'd that be?

- All right, man, get this over with. Hurry up.

- All right. All right. Good. We're done.

- All right, let's get that outfit.

- Outfit?

Oh, no, man. You know Huggy Bear

wouldn't wear that, man.

Come with something better.

Take that sh*t back to Florida.

That ain't me, baby.

Mr. Casual. So nice of you to join us.

Sorry about that, sir.

What would you say this is?

Golf?

Real funny, Amos.

Give me the 9-iron.

- Where the hell's my 9-iron?

- I was gonna bring...

Let me explain something to you.

You are in charge

of this area right here.

Clubs come out.

They gotta go back in.

I realize this is a complex procedure, but it's

up to you to manage the whole business.

Do you got that, Nipsey?

- Yes.

- I should make you run...

...back to the driving range and get it.

Just give me the wedge.

My man gave me a 3-wood.

Do you even know what

a pitching wedge is?

- Are you even a real caddy?

- Come on.

Look, man, this grass is

Alabama Creeping Bent...

...as opposed to Georgia Creeping Bent.

It's lighter.

- Lighter meaning faster?

- Exactly.

Hold this.

Look at that. Good shot.

- You know a lot about golf.

- I know even more about grass.

I don't question that.

- That was a great shot. Don't even start.

- Fine. Back to business.

The stuff is all ready to be moved.

All two tons of it.

We're gold. We need to be at

the banquet by 2 p. m. Anything else?

Yeah, just stay calm and...

What, are we dating?

Why are you standing so close to me?

- Back off.

- It's cool, baby.

What is your deal?

The Nearly There banquet.

Remember? It's tomorrow.

- How's he gonna move coke at a banquet?

- I don't know, but we gotta be there.

No, can't. He'll kill us if he sees us.

You wanna use my wig guy.

Hello, sir. May I check your briefcase?

Oh, yeah. Thanks a lot.

Thank you very much.

Now, what you wanna do is take

this ticket stub. It's for the raffle.

And see that car up on stage?

There's seven of them, all up for grabs,

with plenty of trunk space.

Trunk space. I get it. Very good.

Very good. Thank you very much.

- That's what I'm talking about. Right here.

- There we go.

- What do you think?

- I love it. Great stuff.

Yeah, you look just like a rich cowboy,

came riding in off the farm.

- Do me a favor. Tip your hat forward.

- No, I like it where it is.

- No, seriously, come on, do it. Do it.

- Will you stop with that?

That voice makes you sound crazy.

It makes me sound like Maury Finkel...

...founder of Finkel Fixtures,

a lighting fixture chain.

Oh, it's a little voice and a character.

You got a whole back-story. That's good.

Little touches. You wanna

make the character real.

- What's your character?

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