Status Update Page #6

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they actually don't think you exist.

My dad sat me down the other day,

and he was like...

"Is this 'Kyle' another 'Gary Wiggins'?"

Who's Gary Wiggins?

He was my imaginary friend, when I was a kid.

Not anymore, 'cause he moved away,

didn't leave a forwarding address.

Anywho, my parents are super

excited that you're coming,

so I'm stoked for them to see,

that you're real.

Moore!

- What's up?!

- Good, man, how are you?

Moore, come sit with us, my man.

We're celebrating tonight's win.

That's all right.

I'll catch up with you guys tomorrow.

No, no, go with them. I gotta go home anyways,

and do some gaming. I'm a gamer, so~

You sure?

- Yeah, no, celebrate.

- Cool.

- Yeah, go.

- Okay.

- Come on.

- Yeah.

- There he is.

- Yeah.

So ah, where's Derek?

Probably picking the splinters out of his ass,

from sitting all game.

The Zamboni saw more ice than he did.

Can I get you anything?

Yes, I'll have a cheeseburger,

fries and a shake.

Oh my God, Cassie!

What are you gonna name your food baby?

J-k, obviously.

I'll just take a stick of celery, please.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- I'm Charlotte.

- Yeah, I know.

Cool.

So, how's it feel to be the guy

that everyone's talking about?

I don't know if that's true.

I bought a new perfume.

Do you want to smell me?

Uh~

Yeah. I do, I mean, sure.

Do you like it?

I-I love it.

I'm not wearing any perfume.

Cassie's having a party this Saturday.

I am?

Oh right, that party.

Of course, I am.

Do you have plans?

Saturday, no, I don't think so, no.

Well, now you do.

Tonight is the night, yeah.

You know we gonna run

We do this all the time

All right tonight's the night

Yeah, you know

I'm in the mood

Yeah you know we shine so bright,

tonight's the night, yeah

You know that's how we do

So Baby Girl come on take

flight tonight's the night, yeah

You know we're coming through

And I'm ah make you feel all right,

tonight's the night, yeah

Hey yo step up on the scene

Gotta stay fresh so fly super clean

What's up, man? Where you been, bro?

Everyone's out back.

Come on, let's go, let's go.

My man! Hey, you look thirsty.

Let's go.

No one told me it was a costume party.

Don't worry about it, bro.

Boys! The man of the hour has arrived!

To hockey!

One-timers, slap shots and kick saves!

Bone crushing hits that send

opponents to their graves.

Hat tricks, power plays and crosschecks.

Hayden Hawks hockey, it's better than sex!

Drink up, boys.

It's the golden boy,

the king of the ice.

Just remember... ice breaks,

and when it does...

all these people are gonna do...

is hold your little blonde hair under the water.

Don't worry about that.

He's just sore 'cause Charlotte cut him loose.

Charlotte broke up with him?

OMG. Are you gonna pay any

attention to me tonight or what?

Hey, Cassie, sick party.

Do you like my costume?

I'm a very naughty brave.

Of course, I like it.

I wore it last year.

I don't remember th~

Want to go for a walk?

Yeah.

Damn, he just made Derek, disappear.

What?

We thought you were over this.

Kyle is real, Mom! Okay?

He's not another Gary Wiggins!

Of course, he's not.

So, you broke up with Derek?

I think we just grew apart.

I'm extremely driven, and I want the best of

everything life has to offer, and Derek...

well he seems to be skating backwards.

I have over five million social media followers.

I take more AP classes than anyone else.

And I'm a state champion tennis player.

I don't even like tennis, it's boring.

What about you?

Do you want the best of

everything life has to offer?

Yeah, yeah, I guess, I do.

Well, you're on your way.

You have the looks, the grades,

the popularity.

You're just missing one detail.

What's that?

Me.

Without me, you'll be idolized.

But with me, you'll be deified.

So, do you want me, Kyle?

Because I want you.

Sorry. Oh, no! I totally forgot.

I gotta go, I'm so sorry.

Our lives are made up of

seemingly simple decisions.

This decision, right here,

right now, is one of yours.

So you have to ask yourself...

do you want to be a God...

or don't you?

Dani! Dani, wait!

Sorry.

Hey, are you okay?

You know, that was a really cute

picture Charlotte posted of the two of you.

At least, I think it was you.

You know, I couldn't quite tell, because she

was practically swallowing your face.

- I was gonna tell you, th~

- Why?

We're just buddies.

You don't owe me anything.

I'm happy for you Kyle.

You're the new Derek.

Hey! Hey! I'm still me.

Are you sure about that?

Lonnie. Lonnie!

Moore! Yeah, baby, let's go!

Come on, now, kid!

Moore, wake up!

I've seen better hands on a clock!

Now get your head, out of your backside!

Skate! Oh, come on!

Congratulations boys,

that was the worst practice we have ever had!

What's up, Grimace?

Do it, Grimace.

- Hey.

- What do you want?

Look, I'm sorry I missed your party, all right?

You embarrassed me.

- I thought we were friends.

- We are.

Look, you don't have to be the

person people pick on anymore.

- You want to go on your magic app, change me, too?

- Yes!

Yes, you can be whoever,

whatever, you want.

We can rule the school together.

We can do whatever.

I am who I want to be.

You're the one who changed.

You know what, you, and that thing,

that's a virus.

You've catfished yourself.

Alden residence.

Kyle Moore... here.

Hey. Oh, no, Kyle.

What? What's wrong?

You drove that old thing here?

Charlotte, it's a classic Alfa Romeo.

Hide it, and take it around the back,

and park it with the help.

Say something.

So, Mr. Alden, ah,

Charlotte tells me you're a lawyer?

- Where did you say you were from again, Carl?

- It's Kyle, Daddy.

California, sir.

Sun-baked hippies.

What does your father do for work?

He was a professional skateboarder.

Professional... skate... boarder.

But now, well, he's an entrepreneur.

Entrepreneur,

that's a fancy word for 'unemployed'.

Kyle just got named captain

of the hockey team.

Brutish sport.

I'm going to cut to the chase.

You're a nice looking, young man.

But the truth is,

you're just not one of us.

Daddy, he's the most popular boy at school!

- It's for the best, trust me, poopy.

- Dad!

- Can I use the bathroom?

- Masterson...

show the boy to the washroom,

and make sure he doesn't steal anything.

Now, poopy, don't pout,

you'll give yourself wrinkles.

Not one of you, huh?

Let's see what you think of me now.

So, how are we doin' in here?

Kyle! I was starting to miss you, son.

Weren't we, Pet?

We certainly were.

Daddy, are you feeling okay?

Never been better.

And Kyle, call me Dutch,

Mr. Alden sounds so stodgy.

Well, Dutch, you are a bit 'stodgy'.

To be honest...

I don't know how Kathy puts up with you.

You son-of-a-gun.

You're terrible.

He's so awful, it takes me three of these,

just to get through dinner!

She's plowed 24/7. I'm so awful,

I can't stand to be around me!

Just trying to get away from myself.

Hey Masterson, can you stand me?

Be honest. He hates my guts!

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