Sugar and Spice Page #6

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He HIGH-FIVES Jack on the other side with his free hand as

the OTHER FOOTBALL PLAYERS also HIGH-FIVE each other. They

all freak out when they realize they are touching each other

while PEEING.

INT. LINCOLN HIGH - GIRLS' BATHROOM - HOMECOMING NIGHT

All still stare at Hannah

HANNAH:

I-I didn't mean to say "whore," Diane.

I just hear it so much at church - it

kinda came flying out of my head.

DIANE:

I know, Hannah. Look, I'm not going to

get an abortion. I mean, I always

planned to get married and have kids -

I'm just going a little out of order.

Kinda reminds me of another young lady

who found herself "with child,"

unmarried, on a long road, with no place

to sleep. 'Course, that was a long-long

time ago. But no matter what, she held

her head high and said... "Pappa don't

preach, I'm in trouble deep. Pappa

don't preach, 'cause I'm keepin' my

baby. Hey. I'm gonna keep my baby."

The great one...

All take hands and lower their heads.

DIANE (CONT'D)

(with reverence)

Madonna.

KANSAS:

We're here for you, Diane.

All move in to hug her.

LISA (V.O.)

I guess their little fairy tale could've

ended there, "And they lived happily

ever after." Only problem was...

(with great joy, laughing)

they didn't have a place to live!

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. BANK - NEXT DAY

REVERSE ANGLE:

Jack and Diane sit in front of an older LOAN OFFICER'S desk.

SIGN READS:
"Your home for home loans." Loan officer looks

over papers as Jack and Diane look excitedly at one another.

Diane takes Jack's hand.

LOAN OFFICER:

I'm sorry.

DIANE:

What?! But all our paperwork's there.

My school records, Jack's football

records...

LOAN OFFICER:

Let me explain something...

DIANE:

No. Wait! Did I say Promise! Cross-my

heart and hope-to-die, stick-a-needle-in

my-eye we'll never miss a payment?!

LOAN OFFICER:

Uh, yes. Yes you did.

JACK:

Diane. Hold on a minute. I think I

know where this is going.

(sotto, to loan officer)

I'm willing to put up the papers for my

Mustang - she's got a few miles on her,

but she looks great.

LOAN OFFICER:

I'm sure, son, but --

JACK:

Okay! Stop twisting my arm! I'll throw

in the speakers.

LOAN OFFICER:

Look, kids, why don't you just have your

parents come i n and get a loan? Then

they could give you the money.

DIANE:

(building from a slow burn)

With all due respect, Jack and Diane

Bartlett...

They exchange a smile, first time saying this.

DIANE (CONT'D)

...do not accept charity. We are two

young, able-bodied Americans. We do not

want a handout. We want a hand-up.

Give us food and we will be hungry

tomorrow. Give us corn - the kind you

plant, not eat - and we'll grow our own

food and... and, uh, then cut it, and -

uh, y'know eat it! Now, if you're

interested in giving us a home loan, I

will sit back down. If not, have a nice

day, Ma'am.

LOAN OFFICER:

Sorry. My hands are tied.

Diane makes a dramatic exit, taking a handful of M&M's from

her desk. The squad, (previously unidentified) lounging in

the central bank of couches, follows her.

JACK:

(watching proudly)

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. APARTMENT - LATE AFTERNOON

CLOSE ON:

A smiling Jack and Diane as they look lovingly into each

other's eyes.

DIANE:

Well... it's a little more than we

wanted to spend, but we'll take it!

They kiss. PULL BACK to REVEAL we're:

INT. APARTMENT - LATER

It's a semi-furnished sh*t-hole. The ONLY WINDOW looks out

on a BRICK WALL. The APARTMENT MANAGER, a grungy, Tommy Lee

type, paces.

APARTMENT MANAGER

Fine. Just remember, I manage the

building. I don't, like, own it or fix

it. So, like, I don't care if sh*t

breaks. All I care is that the rent is

shoved under my door on the first. Oh,

and if there's, like, packages outside

my door? Leave 'em the hell alone.

He exits. Jack and Diane are not listening - lost in each

others' eyes.

SMASH CUT TO:

INT. BURGER BIN (FOOD COURT) - NIGHT

CUSTOMER POV:

Jack, in uniform, stands behind the counter.

JACK:

(stilted)

Welcome to Burger Bin.

(sotto)

Don't get the Filet-O-Fish - the fry

cook picks his ass.

WIDEN TO REVEAL:

An ANGRY COOK standing behind Jack.

WIPE PAN TO:

INT. LINCOLN TACO (FOOD COURT) - NIGHT

CUSTOMER POV:

Jack, in uniform, behind the counter. He looks confused as

he presses buttons on his high-tech register.

JACK:

(accenting Spanish words)

Two Taco Grannnndes, one burrrrrrito,

large ta-co chips and guacamooooooole...

WHIP PAN TO:

INT. GRAMMA'S FRIED CHICKEN (FOOD COURT) - NIGHT

CUSTOMER POV:

Jack stands at the counter - in uniform.

JACK:

(sotto to customer)

We don't really have fried rats in the

buckets - I know, I checked.

WHIP PAN TO:

INT. LINCOLN TACO (FOOD COURT) - NIGHT

SAME SCENE:

PULL BACK to reveal a long line waiting.

JACK:

(looking up from register)

That'll be...uh, thirty five cents,

please.

WHIP PAN TO:

INT. DINKIE'S DONUTS (FOOD COURT) - NIGHT

CUSTOMER POV:

Jack stands at the counter, in sailor uniform. An OLD NAVY

MAN, all in white, stands in the B.G. cleaning his nails with

a knife.

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