Superbad Page #4

We can just drink this.

- Here. You could have a drink.

- Oh, no.

- I'm already pretty Wasted.

- Take a drink.

Okay, here's to you.

This is to Becca.

To Becca.

- To the respecting--

- Guys.

- Women.

To people respecting Women.

Okay. Yeah.

You're a lightWeight.

Hey.

You and me,

We should go upstairs, because--

Because I need to

tell you something. Okay?

You could just tell me here,

I mean... .

I can't tell you, because

it's a secret for you from me.

- All right.

- So come. Come on. Okay.

- Bye, guys.

- Bye.

- Bye-bye.

- Bye.

You changed your name

to McLovin?

- That's so cool.

- Thanks.

So, like, What's HaWaii like?

All right. I am back.

I had to thank the peeps

for coming out, you knoW.

Jules. I Want you

to have a drink With me.

Just drink some of this.

You're gonna love it.

You're to--

I knoW you're gonna love it.

- You knoW, l--

- It's green beer. For your information.

You knoW, I'm actually good

right noW. But thank you.

And thank you very much

for bringing everything, again.

Seriously, it really made the night.

No, that's hoW I roll.

That's the thing.

It's no problems. You'll learn that.

I love talking

and conversing With you.

But I can't hear you, though,

because the music is so loud.

So do you Wanna go outside

and talk more?

Yeah. Sorry, sure.

You knoW, Why not?

Let's do it.

I haven't conversed in ages.

- Okay. Ladies-- Ladies first.

- Okay.

- Thank you very much.

- No problem.

- Watch your step. I fell earlier today.

- You serious?

Well, I Was hit by a car.

It's a long story.

- Oh, sh*t. Careful.

- Okay, Well... .

So loud. Don't let the parents hear.

You look so pretty.

- Are you okay?

- I so flirt With you in math.

Tell me about it. L-- Samesies.

I've Wanted to tell you for so long

that you're the best girl.

I knoW. I've Wanted to get With you,

like, so hard.

Like so hard.

You're the best.

We'll take this sWeater off. I think so.

Just be careful, because it's a

meaningful sWeater to me. It's vintage.

Okay.

- Bought it at that vintage market.

- Just hurry.

- And this one.

- It's off.

Hey, Wait, careful.

- Oh, sh*t.

- Oh, my.

Put that there.

- NoW, looky, looky...

- Okay.

...What I got for you under here.

- Oh, my gosh.

You are the prettiest girl...

...this side of the Mississippi.

- I have a little something...

...for you under here.

You look so pretty.

- Look so pretty.

- Under there.

Hello.

For you.

You're the best. You're so unique.

Come here.

Evan, kiss me.

I like you so much.

Come on, McLovin.

I've never been

With an older guy before.

Well, it's Way better.

I knoW, We made some

kick-ass tiramisu earlier.

It Was deli-- It looked Weird.

But it Was delicious.

What--? What's Wrong?

L-- I Would prefer

if We Would just do that...

...at some other time.

No. There is no other time.

School is up.

- What's Wrong With right noW?

- Well, I mean, you're-- You're drunk.

- You're, like, really, really drunk.

- So? You're drunk. You're drunk, Jules.

Yeah, I'm actually--

I'm not drunk at all.

I don't even drink, so it's... .

I mean... .

Jules, you drink. You drink.

Everybody-- You--

You had me get liquor, so you drink.

It's like... .

Well, yeah, because

I'm throWing a party, remember?

Other people drink

and so I just... .

You...?

You don't Wanna, you knoW?

Not right noW.

You knoW, not While you're drunk.

But, you knoW, thank you.

- Evan. Evan, I'm so Wet.

- Oh, yeah.

They said that Would happen

in health, When I learned about it.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- They taught me about--

- Who's doWn there?

Yeah, it's your hand.

- Thank you, that's good.

- You have such a smooth cock.

Thank you.

You Would too if you Were a man.

But you got such a smooth chest.

I am gonna give you...

...the best bloW-J ever...

...With my mouth.

Why don't We--?

Why don't We just kiss a While?

Why don't We keep kissing for a bit,

instead of...?

HoW badly do you Wanna f*** me?

Jesus Christ.

Jesus, f***.

- Hang on one second.

- What?

Becca,

I don't think you Wanna do this.

- You're really drunk.

- No, I'm not. I am not drunk.

- I see that you are. I think you are.

- And I really-- I Want you inside me.

I Want you to be my first.

I Want you inside me.

So just-- Just go With it.

- Let it happen.

- I knoW, but... .

Becca, this is kind of intense.

And I just-- I'm so drunk.

I can't even, like, process this.

And you're really pretty.

And I just think

this isn't hoW I pictured it.

I don't understand Why you have to be

such a little b*tch about it.

- Did you just call me a b*tch?

- Yes, a scared--

See, I, like,

I think We're not thinking clear--

Holy sh*t. Oh, my God.

- Go get Gaby.

- I'll go get her.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Go get Gaby, please.

- I got a boner.

- Good.

- Do you have a condom?

- Yes.

And lube.

Seth?

Are--? Are you crying?

No, I just have something

in both my eyes.

I don't cry. That's funny.

You look-- You look--

It looks like you're crying.

So... .

It Was my last chance

and I f***ed it up and--

Your last chance to do What?

To make you

my girlfriend for the summer.

You're, like, the coolest person

that's ever talked to me.

I thought We'd both be drunk.

What does me being drunk

have anything to do With it?

You'd never get With me

if you Were sober.

Look at you.

- Look at me.

- Seth, come on, you didn't bloW it.

I think maybe--

What the f***?!

Help me.

Shirley.

I'm sorry.

- Someone forgot to call pest control.

- Yep.

Where you going?

Hey, party's still on.

- Where are you going?

- No.

If you're back there, get out.

Everyone, come on.

- We Will shoot you.

- Party's over.

- Evan.

- Get the hell out of here.

Keep your hands up.

Life's bullshit, Miroki.

Ev, Wake the f*** up, man.

We gotta go.

Those f***ing cops are here, man.

"Oh, no, it's the cops."

We have a complaint.

- Evan, come on.

- Get the hell out of here right noW.

Get out of here.

She's not interested.

- Drop the crantini and move it, sister.

- See you, sugar tits.

Guys, come on, move.

Everybody out.

Leave the booze and go.

What the f***, man?

What the f***, Seth?

He's my best friend. Oh, sh*t.

Oh, sh*t. Come on.

I assume you all have guns

and crack.

Oh, my God, come on. Don't stop.

Okay, everyone...

...prepare to be f***ed

by the long dick of the laW.

Get out.

Come on, go.

F*** off, Seth.

Get a room.

I'm gonna save you.

I'm gonna save you, Evan.

F***.

F***. F***, man, so heavy.

It's in. Oh, my God, it's in.

All right, everybody out.

Come on, let's go.

McLovin! What the f***?

- Officer Slater, is that you?

- You ran aWay from us.

Why did you run aWay?

Michaels, get up here.

- No. I didn't run aWay.

- What the f***?

Why Would you do that?

- I Was disoriented from--

- Were you violating that girl?

You just violated her With your penis?

Michaels, look.

- McLovin?

- No, no, no.

No.

Holy sh*t.

Were you just getting laid?

No. Yeah, I Was, but--

- Yes, yes, he Was.

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