Supercondriaque Page #3

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I've changed.

That's wonderful.

She's so hot. Isabelle.

She liked my true bio,

wants a date.

Don't f*** up this time.

Act like a man, OK?

Testosterone galore.

A real man. Tough.

Afraid of nothing.

- She'll like you.

- They all do!

Give me a mean look.

Tell me you want me!

Tell me!

- I want you.

- Louder!

I want you!

Like a man!

Like a man, come on! Louder!

You, you, you!

I'm impressed!

Yeah! Like that!

I gained muscle mass

by power walking!

Dinner's ready.

Coming.

We're done with...

his treatment.

Take your time.

Try not to let

our 13-year-old see that.

Nora.

Want to talk about

your repressed homosexuality?

What repressed homosexuality?

I don't know, you tell me.

Do you remember

a reverse Oedipus complex?

Me, in love with my father?

No way!

- Why get upset?

- I'm not upset.

I thought you couldn't

analyze your family?

What is this "impatient" patient

doing near our marriage?

He's ill.

I'm his doctor, I'm treating him.

Why him and not the others?

I started with him.

He's my oldest patient.

I once paid my bills

thanks to his hypochondria.

A hypochondriac needs a shrink,

not a doctor.

What could you cure him of?

This century's worst ailment.

Solitude.

Come on.

It's true.

With a woman, he'll be fine.

And us?

You won't hear of him again.

Be patient, my love.

Your patient is now your friend,

and I must be "patient"?

I always wondered why my mom

said not to marry a shrink.

I'll show you if I'm a homosexual.

- Isabelle.

- Romain!

Sit the hell down.

So you're...

Skip the f***ing small talk, OK?

If you say so.

- Thirsty?

- Yeah.

- Can I help you?

- She's thirsty.

Same thing as him.

Great! Movie starts in 20 mins.

Hey, you don't mind

a movie on the first date?

No, it's fine.

Stay the hell there. I'm buying.

Two for Les Mis, please.

The six o'clock show.

Two for Les Mis. Theater six.

Is there carpeting in theater six?

What the hell?

What are you from Home Depot?

No, it's about the dust mites.

Causes allergies,

and fatal asthma fits.

We have carpeting, floor and walls.

Any movies without carpet?

The only uncarpeted rooms

are the bathrooms.

Too bad, sorry.

- Got it?

- No.

Let's get dinner. I'm starved.

And we could talk,

get to know each other.

OK, great. if you want.

- Wash your hands first?

- No, I'm OK. Thanks.

Sure.

Everyone washes their hands.

Eating with dirty hands is ugly.

You can wash before

or after the operation.

Give the nurse a chance.

She sounds great.

Got to go, I'm eating.

Who was that?

- Who what?

- On the phone.

Oh, who was it. Yeah.

A surgeon friend.

Dr. Jacquard. Remember?

The seminar in Djerba.

He just...

OK, it was him. Sorry.

He's on a date, it's working.

Chicken?

No, thank you.

I live right down there.

Well, I have to go. Good night.

Thanks for a nice evening.

No nightcap?

No, I get up early.

Why laugh?

First time I ever struck out. Wow.

I love it.

Not only do I wind up asking,

but then you say no!

Don't think I...

No, wait!

How about an erotic game

to spice it up?

What? You want to tie me up?

What the hell? What are you doing?

That's my fantasy.

Washing my armpits?

A fantasy?

Don't worry, there are others.

I'll stop bothering you,

and your family.

- You won't see me again.

- Really? Why?

I can't do it, Dimitri.

It's all over,

I'll be 40 in 5 months.

I'm alone.

I'm a sick hypochondriac.

It can only get worse with age.

You're lucky to have her.

And you have a beautiful daughter.

Hear that, my love?

But we have a son, too.

Really? I never saw your son.

Sure you have.

He's always here when you are.

Look, Romain,

true love

is loving someone for who he is,

not what he's done

or hasn't done.

Somewhere there's a woman

who'll love you for yourself.

For your sensitivity,

your traits and flaws.

Too late.

I'll wind up with no wife, no kids,

old, ugly, stupid, lonely and sick.

Sick, no.

The rest, yeah.

OK, desperate times

call for desperate measures.

Why are we here?

For your first humanitarian mission.

Give me your ID.

See those illegal immigrants?

They're from Cherkistan.

Know where that is?

Your family's from there.

A small, war-torn eastern nation,

with no national health plan.

That's about right.

The lucky ones

get refugee status.

The others get a temporary visa,

then they're deported.

Such a cruel world.

- Hello, Doctor.

- How are you?

- Come with me.

- What?!

You help them from the boat

to the medical tents.

- I can't.

- Be brave. We need everyone.

- I can't get on that boat.

- Make an effort for once!

I'd love to help them,

but I'd catch some horrible virus.

Go wait in the car!

You're a lowlife! You're pitiful!

Hi, Anna.

About time! We're overloaded!

Enough. I'm here.

Only 3 doctors for all these people.

- Dank ya.

- It's nothing!

No, please!

No, thank you. Please...

- Dank ya.

- You're welcome.

Who's he?

A friend who's healing.

Dank ya.

- Dank ya.

- That's OK.

Over here!

Sir!

Sir, can you hear me?

All right now, calm down!

Don't touch me!

Let me do my job.

I must have a horrible accent.

Anton Miroslav,

leader

of the Cherkistani revolution.

I follow news of your nation,

which is sort of mine as well.

My family is from Drassjna,

like you.

My name is Anna.

Anna Lempereur,

maiden name Zvenka.

Zvenka!

Rest.

You need it after that ordeal.

You were thought dead

after that attack.

I'm so moved to see you, alive!

Sorry, I must seem so...

Do you even understand me?

Dank ya.

Anton Miroslav thanking me!

The world is backwards.

Enough talk. Time is short.

I'll take your things

through security,

put them in my car,

and I'll be back for you.

Don't move.

I understand a little.

French a little.

Great. Where did you learn?

Verlaine, Rimbaud, Balzac.

Much need poetry in civil war.

It's for a fake passport.

Romain!

I can't believe it!

Romain!

No way!

I'll get up.

You're beyond hope! Sh*t!

On a glucose drip?

Shame on you!

A moment of weakness,

I feel better.

I'll help the real patients now.

Hurry up! Take that IV out.

Shouldn't I finish?

You're crazy!

- Dimitri, please!

- Coming.

Go help

instead of clogging up a bed!

I'll make the bed,

and I'll be right there. Coming.

Miroslav! Anton Miroslav!

You want to get spotted!?

Of course. You're delirious.

I need to take care of you.

Here. Your fake passport.

Just like a real one.

Remember...

Try to look as French as possible.

And relax!

Jean Valjean?

Victor Hugo stole our name.

Who knew Les Mis

would be such a hit?

Go ahead.

Dank ya.

You're welcome.

Oh my Lord!

Anna? Is that you?

Guillaume! You're not in Brussels?

Meeting got pushed back.

I got a later train.

Who's he?

I didn't have time to warn you.

This is Anton Miroslav,

who'll be staying with us a while.

Can we talk for a sec?

Stop bringing illegals

to this house!

He's not just any illegal.

He's Anton Miroslav.

Hero of the revolution!

So what?

Are you done?

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