Supernatural Activity Page #3

front porch right now.

I am speechless.

God damn freaking Dealer!

Sorry. I had to get that out.

Your team is fantastic.

Blair, you are...

You are gorgeous.

I don't even know how many

times I've... never mind.

Brock, you're just freaking...

Abs are stacked.

How many of those? 12? Jesus.

Pepper.

I love you. Oh my god.

Spit. Just spit all over

the place.

On me. I'll rub it around.

And Doug...

That camera work, man.

Like, intense. The heart beats

the whole time.

It's just.

And damn it, Dealer.

Can you give me one of these?

Just one.

I guess he watches the show.

- Oh my god.

- HEY!

Whoa. I'm sorry.

- HEY!

- Sorry. I'm sorry.

Hey.

We can go inside. Do you want

to go inside?

Please.

I'm freaking out, man.

This... This is my crib.

It's probably nothing compared

to yours, but.

You know, it'll do.

Take a seat wherever. You're

good.

Yeah. Table works.

This is Mitzi, the love of

my life.

She's my everything.

That's a great set.

Thank you.

So, Dewey, What do you do for a living?

Just a little about you.

I'm still... I'm sorry.

Damon Dealer is in my house.

Do you work out, bro?

I've been looking for a P90X

partner like, forever.

Answer the question, Dewey.

You're my everything, babe.

I'm a tool.

- Do what?

- A tool.

- Do what?

- Tool.

- Say again?

- I'm a tool.

- Say what?

- Technical Operator On Location

...for the phone company.

Oh okay. Yeah yeah.

TOOL. Perfect. Yeah.

It's one of those synonyms.

I've got you.

Yeah. Correct.

So do you think this is like...

...the Smallsquatch? I mean,

I guess he is.

Well, I don't want to say

for sure.

It's a little hard to tell.

I mean...

The modus operandi fits.

You know, so many other demons

as well.

So...

What? Like who, per se?

Like Bro-thelzar.

For one.

Who's Bro...?

Bro-thelzar.

He was a brontosaurus demon from

the Jurassic Park... period.

He was around about 138 million

years ago.

He's a seer demon.

And he was the first one up on

the 2012 thing.

This is WAY before the Mayans.

Just to give you an idea...

...how big his bronto-brain was.

Damon effing Dealer.

I just got to say it, dude.

You look fit.

Your metabolism must be off

the charts right now. Like...

And that P90X offer...

...stands for life.

Feel unlimited.

I love you so much.

Okay. Alright.

Tits-ey. Mitzi.

What do you do for a living?

Oh I'm in school.

I just got my Masters in

Psychology.

And now I'm working on my PhD

at Phoenix Online.

Oh PhD.

Doctor.

Doctors are smart. Very very

smart.

Okay. Why don't we run some

tests?

Okay. Why don't we not?

I think I've seen enough.

You guys are great.

Yeah. Let's run some EVP.

Hell yeah!

You down with EVP?

Yeah. You know me.

Who's down with EVP?

All of my homies... WHAT?

I caught her that time.

I'm so... Whoa!

Alright. Thank you. Yes.

We'll do the EVP. We can do

the EVP.

Alright?

But I swear to you:

If we don't find any sort of

paranormal activity...

Then we're going to leave.

End of story. Okay?

We're going to do the burial

ground.

Hello, evil entity.

Can you hear me?

Is Patrick Swayze there?

Are you friends with Patrick

Swayze?

Hello, evil entity.

Can you hear me?

Electronic Voice Phenomenon.

See, With demons, we all know

they're very powerful creatures.

They're large, they have razor

sharp teeth.

Claws, the whole nine.

For whatever reason, though,

they have very weak diaphragms.

And so when it comes to

electronics,

their voices just don't carry

very well.

So what we do is, we blow up

the files.

And we basically look for any

sort of speed bumps.

But I wouldn't worry about it.

No no. I see one coming up.

I now have in my

possession a baby.

And I am in a corner.

I'm going to put the baby in

the corner.

Does Patrick have anything to

say to me now?

What'd he say? I couldn't

hear that.

Give me one second. Let me

slow it down.

You're a dick.

Did you do that?

No man. Wasn't me.

What is your favorite food?

Pizza.

Who is going to win the

World Series?

Yankees.

How sure are you?

Bet the house.

If you could have one super

power, what would it be?

Flying.

No. Wait.

See the future.

If they turned your life into a

movie what actor would play you?

Matthew McConaughey.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Atch.

Atch who?

God bless you.

Ahhh. You tricked me.

Redheads, brunettes, or blonde?

Smallsquatch not picky.

Houston, we have confirmation.

EVP. It's probably the easiest

trick in the book.

All you've got to do is drop

the octaves down a little bit.

Or you can put a filter on it.

Which is what I usually do.

But, that's what I do.

Yeah. Semantics.

Oh my god. Brock.

You idiot!

What?

I didn't do anything.

What was the "it" that the river

ran through?

I never got that.

Oh my god!

OH MY GOD!

OH MY GOD! THAT PAN FLEW OFF

THE COUNTER.

DAMNIT, DEWEY. THIS WAS MY

GRANDMOTHER'S!

No no no no!

BUT I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!

I LOVE YOU! OH MY GOD!

OH MY GOD!

We've got to get out of here.

She's a monster.

No, Damon. Come on.

Damon, Damon, Damon, Damon.

What are you doing, man?

Two of hearts.

You've got to be kidding me.

Dude. That girl needs

professional help.

She could hurt someone.

She could hurt herself.

Your turn.

Yeah...

Some taped over footage there.

It's a little embarrassing when

Damon provided me with the tapes

to shoot the documentary.

And no one checked to see if

they were his own home videos.

So... Absolutely not.

Hold your voice, man. The

cameras are going to hear you.

It doesn't matter if they can

HEAR US.

Okay? They can read everything

we're saying.

What are you talking about? How?

- I'm not guessing it.

- Come on.

- I'm not guessing it.

- Come on.

I am not guessing.

- You know how much this project means to me.

- Exactly.

If you go through with this...

Okay. It's dark where you are.

We're fine. I'm more than

willing to step to the plate.

I can run this show.

You're lost.

If this ship is going to sink,

I'm going to be the guy who

drowns us. You remember.

Don't think. Come on.

You can figure this out.

You just have to let go and

believe.

Believe.

I... You know what?

I've got a better idea.

Yeah. OH, do you like that?

Alright guys.

Let's quiet down. Let's focus.

We're losing daylight.

Alright. We need to figure out

a game to... guys!

Come on.

Let's get real here.

Communication is the most

important C in the C system.

As you all very well know.

So if we're going to get rid

of this demon,

we've got to know what it wants.

Guys! Brock. Can you get

serious?

My bad, bro.

Please.

Does this face look serious

to you?

Does this face look serious

to you?

ANSWER ME!

Yeah.

I need you this serious.

Alright.

Pepper.

Blair, Doug.

I need you guys to go out

into the woods.

I need you to set up camp,

alright?

We're looking for anything that

looks like a Bigfoot habitat.

- You've got it.

- Yeah.

Tuck, me and you,

Brock, we'll stick around with

Dewey and Mitzi.

We'll set up paranormal phone

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