Supernatural Activity Page #4

lines around the house.

Alright?

Does anybody have any questions?

Yeah. Are we looking... Are

we looking for a midget yeti?

Or a Bigfoot dwarf?

Uhm...

Because The Abominable Snowman,

which a lot of people know

as the yeti,

is thought to be native to

the northern Himalayas.

Whereas the sasquatch, which a

lot of people know as Bigfoot,

is thought to be from the

Pacific Northwest.

So...

It's just like...

Wait, so...

Are you looking for an actual

answer to that question?

Or are you just asking it out loud

to sound really smart to everybody?

It... well, yeah.

- It's...

- The second one, right?

Yeah. No, that's what I thought.

And to answer your question,

you're an idiot.

It's just there's a difference.

That's all.

Doug's an idiot.

He is.

He really is.

That's what you look for in a

good camera operator.

Like Shark Week.

It's a bunch of idiots jumping

in the water.

Hey.

Whatever it takes.

Looking for a physical

manifestation of

any sort of yeti or a bigfoot

or a sasquatch.

Right? It's a demon.

Right? It's a spirit.

I mean, how many times have we

done this thing before? Alright.

Let's quit acting like amateurs and

start acting like professionals.

Hell yeah!

- Can I get an amen?

- Amen!

Let's get ourselves a demon.

Love you.

- Have fun.

- Thank you.

For what?

For letting me prove to the world

that Smallsquatch really exists.

For reaffirming that my life

has a purpose.

For keeping hope alive.

I think I might die without

hope.

Oh sh*t.

Language!

Dude, why would you mess with the

EVP without consulting with me?

Because I knew you wouldn't

let me.

Of course I'm not going to let

you. You're an idiot.

You are nothing in the game

of life, bro.

Whoa whoa whoa! Slow your

roll man.

Nothing.

You seriously need to lose the

attitude. Stress will kill you.

I might lose my girlfriend

out of this.

- How am I supposed to feel?

- Get over it.

- This is a good thing for us.

- How?

Bro.

You are going to be remembered as one of

the greatest illusionists of all time.

Houdini, Tupac Shakur, Penn

and Teller, Elvis Presley.

Damon Dealer.

I mean, this could make our fan

base triple bro.

Let me ask you something.

Do you ever think of anything

other than our fan base?

No. I don't.

And that's exactly why I'm going

to be

the most famous man in the

world.

Let me tell you something, guy.

There is a reason that I am the

most famous,

super, gigantic, mega famous

person in the world.

Okay?

So you want to be like me?

Try being great at something.

I'm great at being famous.

I'll show you. I'll show

everybody.

I'm going to be like the

Kardashian baby,

whose real daddy is the

president,

who is best friends with Suri,

who has 500 million fans on

facebook and twitter,

and has an affair with

Prince William's daughter.

And if he has twins, I'm going

to smash on both of them. Why?

Because I'm Brock, b*tch.

Oh sh*t.

We're like The A Team, fool.

Army Ranger teammates.

And I need you to bring your

A game.

Can you do that for me?

It is what it is.

- Rome wasn't built in a day.

- Let go. Let God.

- Put up or shut up.

- Let it all hang out.

- Every dog has his day.

- Go big or go home.

- A penny saved is a penny earned.

- Boys will be boys.

- Let me run the show on this one.

- Absolutely not.

Damnit.

So Pepper, what's like,

the biggest game you ever shot?

Biggest?

Or wildest?

Both.

Biggest was a giraffe.

Shut up!

- You shot a giraffe?

- Yeah.

I was on a safari in South

Africa.

That big son of a gun stuck

his tongue out at me

and made me so mad. POW!

Caught him right in the throat.

Which makes sense when you

think about it.

Seeing as a giraffe is mostly

throat.

- That is crazy.

- Right.

What was the wildest?

Garden gnome.

- Shut up!

- I won't.

What was that like? I mean like...

A garden gnome?

There ain't much to eat there.

- No?

- No. No.

It's kind of like a beef jerky.

Tough... spicy.

But it's got a lot of protein

though.

- Yeah?

- Yeah. Yeah.

I reckon one of them would

really hit the spot

after a nice workout.

Chop one of them little gnome

fellas up,

throw em in a blender maybe a little

banana in there or something,

maybe some giraffe venison.

That right there'll hit

the spot.

That'll get it done. It'll get

her done.

Okay, but... How did

you get the gnome out?

Because gnomes are mythological

creatures.

Yeah. Yeah. What's up?

Well, you can pretty much kill

anything.

So long as you got the right

bait.

- Bait?

- Bait.

What kind of bait did you use

to get the gnome out?

Yeah.

Well...

Unlike...

I like to keep my secrets.

Well... Looks like she's done.

I like to call this guy Alvin.

You guys want some?

- You sure?

- Yeah.

- Wow.

- You're missing out.

Dear God, thank you for Alvin.

Now he is dead.

I'm going to eat him.

Then go to bed.

- DOUG!

- What?

Oh god. Now I'm coming.

I'm cumming. I can't...

DOUG, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Doug, get over here!

Seriously, hurry up!

Wait till you see this!

A rock formation!

OH MY GOD. IT'S A PILE OF ROCKS!

Oh god!

I want to hold you. Hold me.

Hey!

HEY!

- I'm...

- HEY!

I'm disappointed in you.

Have you done your quiet time?

- Well I was in the middle of it.

- Well you can finish it.

You could do all things.

Corinthians 4:
13

I'll go finish.

A pile of rocks.

Oldest trick in the book.

God, it works every time.

And why is that?

Well, you know, I think

everybody knows that witches,

above every other intelligent

creature, love to stack rocks.

Sandstone, magma, etc.

You know?

What? You think Stonehenge

happened by itself?

Please. Please.

People always ask me.

Well they don't actually always

ask me.

But I imagine them asking me

questions, you know?

Like, "How do you put a bunch

of rocks together"

"and stack them up and make

people think"

"witch?"

And the answer is, teamwork.

That's how you do it.

Look. If you want something

done right,

you go ask an expert, right?

Because there's a good chance

that you're an idiot.

And you don't know what you're

doing.

Can you show that to me one

more time?

That last little bit?

So what makes Addy such an

expert?

Well, you know,

kids are more advanced than

adults in a lot of ways.

It's like you're on a hay ride.

You know, it's like their

imagination hasn't been

destroyed by their stupid

parents or their jerk bosses.

You know? It hasn't been

bludgeoned by crystal meth,

high speed chicken feed, crank,

crack cocaine, glass, ice,

In a lot of ways, kids are

geniuses.

Right Addie?

I just pooted.

It just doesn't make any

sense to me.

What doesn't make any sense

to you?

I mean, if Smallsquatch wants

something,

why doesn't he just say so?

Seriously dude.

Why does he have to go all

creeper status?

Guys. The communication process

is different with demons. Okay?

They don't have iPhones, or

gmail, or any of that stuff.

Well I know.

It just seems like it should

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