Swearnet: The Movie Page #10

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But I'm gonna have

to disqualify ya.

What are you talkin' about?

Racing under the influence

of a controlled substance?

Does this look familiar?

What does the east coast

Targa people gonna think

When they find out

we're on f***in' acid!

LSD, baby! Yeah!

- No.

- Unh uh.

Trigger, f*** off!

They're not actually on acid,

for f*** sakes!

I shot that.

We were f***in' around.

They're just acting.

Son, do I look

stupid to you?

I've seen your show.

They're not that good

at acting.

Sorry, boys,

that's the way it is.

Come on!

Jesus Christ, Mike!

Jamie, I'm f***in' sorry!

I'm trying not to go

tits up here!

I'm under a lot

of f***in' pressure!

You couldn't just take

one f***in' day off

Of swearnet, could ya?

No, I f***in' couldn't,

actually!

There's houses gettin'

burned down and sh*t!

Yeah, and why is that

happenin'?

'Cause you made a f***in'

deal without a lunatic

And you didn't

even ask us!

You know what I hope

you're proud of yourself,

Because I'm f***in' done

with swearnet...

oh, come on!

...and I'm f***in'

done with you!

- Jape!

- Thank you!

F***in' a**hole!

What were you thinking,

Mike? God!

We can figure this out.

I hope so.

F***ing lying piece of sh*t!

Oh, here you go.

Is this why you never came

home last night, huh?

Because you're f***ing

this b*tch?!

You f***ing slut!

You're not even hot,

And you're very short.

You better back

the f*** up

With those too-Close

together-F***ing eyes,

You crazy c*nt!

And put some f***ing

clothes on!

I didn't f***ing cheat on you,

okay?!

She likes Mike anyway!

What?!

No, I don't.

Look, I didn't come home

last night,

'Cause Mike accidentally

gave me acid.

He thought it was

liquid codeine.

Okay, that's it.

Well,

I accidentally sucked

Sebastian Bach's cock

again last night!

Oh my god.

Oops.

You know what?

This is perfect.

I'm glad

you cheated on me.

But I didn't

cheat on you.

How could you suck

his cock again

After all we went through

the first time?

Maybe you shoulda

answered

Your f***ing phone

when I called you!

JP smashed my f***in' phone! Bull sh*t!

That's why I didn't

answer it!

You can keep

the piece of sh*t house.

I'm taking

everything else.

And just so you know,

I'm going on tour

With Sebastian

and his beautiful...

no.

Breathtaking cock.

Have a nice life with

your idiot friends,

You f***ing loser!

Julie, don't, please!

- Suck it for me!

- F*** you, Mike!

You shut your f***in' mouth!

Thanks, man!

Robb, come on, man, don't

f***in' quit on me please!

I can't f***in' do this

on my own, man.

What a corn dog, man?

Robb, it's never as bad as

you think it's gonna be, man!

Good evening,

I'm BJ Wilson,

With a CNT breaking

news update.

The former trailer park boys

Are making headlines again

this afternoon.

After their internet-Based

network, swearnet,

Was slapped with

fourteen law suits

Totaling 4.5 million dollars.

Mike Smith, Robb Wells,

JP Tremblay and Patrick roach,

A.K.A. Swearman,

are all named on the law suits,

None of whom could be reached

for comments,

But I think

it's safe to assume

This spells the end

for swearnet.

Up next,

local religious sect...

f*** you, you cocksuckers.

Religion or-

I just wanted everybody

to know that Robb and JP

Probably won't be

on swearnet anymore

Because I f***ing ruined

both of their lives.

I didn't mean to,

but I did.

I'm f***in' sorry.

All I wanted was for

the three of us

To be able to make people laugh

And not be f***in' censored,

And it all went to sh*t.

Jape, if you're watchin' this,

man,

I f***in' love you, brother.

I'm goin' down to the f***in'

Targa office in the morning

And I am gonna tell p*ssy-Eye

That he has to let you and your

dad cross that finish line,

And I don't give a f***

what I have to do.

I'm gonna make it happen,

brother.

I don't care.

I f***in' love you.

I love you both, man.

You're both my f***in' brothers

And I will do whatever

the f*** I have to do

To make this sh*t happen, man.

I f***in' love you guys.

I really f***in' love you guys.

I love you both, man,

I love you both.

You're my brothers!

Jape, I f***in' love you, man.

I love you, man.

# Hold on tight

to what you believe in #

# Hold on to whatever

you need #

# Oh yeah #

# Step inside

the sweet illusion #

# Of another life #

# Of another time #

# Here it's enough to be

well meaning #

# And if you crash your plane

you can try it again #

# Oh yeah #

Let them f***in' race!

Let them f***in' race!

F***.

These are all swearnet fans.

- Let them f***in' race!

- Let them f***in' race!

- Come on!

- Get outta here!

Get outta the way!

- Doufus, you f***in' c*nt!

- P*ssy eye!

Come on, give me a break,

will ya?!

- You guys are awesome!

- Excuse me, please, excuse me!

Get him inside!

- Excuse me! Trigger!

- Trigger, come with me!

Come to the office!

Holy f*** you guys!

Thanks for comin' out!

This is f***in' amazing!

I love you, guys!

I'm goin' in there to get

the boys back in the race!

I'm not gonna take no

for an answer!

Swearnet.Com!

Swearnet! Swearnet! Swearnet!

Swearnet! Swearnet! Swearnet!

Do any of you guys know how to

turn off this god damn sound?

I do. Here.

I woke up this morning,

15,000 emails.

It hasn't stopped yet!

Everybody's calling

me p*ssy eye.

Aw, for the love of Christ,

20,000 emails now!

Well, can you imagine

if we flip this around

And actually got swearnet

behind the f***in' race.

Let me make myself

perfectly clear.

There's nothin'

you can say

That's gonna get

me to change my mind.

They broke the rules!

Look, trigger,

All JP wants is to do is cross

the f***in' finish line

With his dad next to him.

Come on!

These guys are

my f***in' family.

I would take f***ing bullet

in the face for them.

Jeez, you'd do anything

for them boys, wouldn't you?

Yeah. Anything.

# Think I'm gonna stay

for a while #

# Just to beg for a whisper

and a smile #

# 'Cause I'm in love

with your face and style #

Hey, come on in!

Uh, Robb,

are you here?

Hey.

Excuse the mess.

I haven't had a chance

to clean up.

Hey, I totally understand.

You've been through a lot.

Wow!

Quite a f***in' thing.

I mean, not a f***in' thing.

It's a f***ed up thing.

Oh, I mean, that part there is

a f***ing thing I guess but...

look, rob,

just so you know,

I like you, not Mike.

Really?

I was sure you liked Mike.

And I see the way

he looks at ya,

And a lot of women find him

irresistible

And that sort of stuff.

I just assumed you probably

like him not me-

Wow,

I was not expecting that.

Or that.

That's f***in' hilarious!

What's going on,

you hungarian f*** tanker?

What?

How'd he get you back

in the race?

Oh f***.

Who the f***'s piece of sh*t

car is that?!

Oh! Well if it isn't

the happy couple!

Yay!

I don't want to f***ing fight,

Julie, okay?

Fight?

What?

You don't fight, rob.

You stand there like

a little b*tch

And take whatever

I give you!

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