Swearnet: The Movie Page #12

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We're going

to the finish line.

F***in' forget

the whole thing!

What'd you say?

- What'd you say?

- I said we're-

No, I said we're-

What'd you say?

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Take your finger off

the f***in' button,

You dumbass!

Hairpin right at 200 meters!

100 meters!

Hairpin right!

Good job, buddy!

Straight shoot across

the bridge to the finish!

Right on, man!

- Punch up!

- Woo!

- Here they come!

- Here they come!

- Axel f***!

- It got it!

Okay, go! Go!

What the f***

are you doin'?!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Uh oh, big f*** up.

Oh, my f***in' god!

What the f*** was that?!

They're okay, buddy,

they're okay.

Fire that up.

Follow the puck.

Are you f***in'

serious?!

If we don't shoot this

we've got f***in' nothin'!

Get shootin'!

I didn't hear him say cut.

F*** yeah, let's do it!

Stupid fucktards!

There's a f***in' race

going on!

Yeah, we were winnin'

for f*** sakes!

Tom, I'm a big fan.

I don't want to f***in'

hurt you.

Shoulda had a rehearsal, man!

Holy sh*t,

you f***in' connected!

You're f***in' dead!

Are we playing

or is this for real?!

Oh this is for real,

ginger!

Not the hair!

F***, you want to play, Swayze,

let's do it!

You f***in' p*ssy!

Huh?

Oh, you f***er!

This is a real f***in' fight

between tom green, carrot top,

Rob Wells and

John Paul Tremblay!

This is the kind of sh*t

you'll see on swearnet.Com.

Five bucks a month!

- F*** you!

- Come on, motherf***er!

Let's see what you got!

F*** you!

You want to f*** with me?!

F***in' b*tch slap.

F***!

What the f***?!

Die, you f***er!

This is JP's dad,

you Hollywood f***er!

- I'm gonna kill you! Kill you!

- Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!

F***!

Jesus Christ!

Mike,

will you yell f***in' cut

Before someone gets

f***in' killed!

Smith set this up?!

Smith!

You motherf***er!

Jape, this wasn't supposed

to go down like this, man.

I swear to f***!

Bull f***in' sh*t!

I can't f***in' believe

you did this, man!

We coulda f***in' died!

You weren't supposed to crash!

I called the f***in's thing off

and they pulled out anyway!

F***in' bullshit!

I didn't want you

to lose the race, man.

I just thought I could

get us out of this situation

With pinchbeck

in case you guy's lost.

I just thought I could

create a spectacle.

You're f***ed!

What the f*** are you doin'?

Is this f***in'

spectacle enough?!

Put the f***in' rock down!

Jape, don't do that, man!

You never gave

a f*** about us!

That's a big rock.

Where was that

when I need it?

All you care about is f***in'

swearnet and yourself, man!

Put the f***in' rock down, man.

Put the f***in' rock down!

Put the f***in' rock down!

Goddamn it!

- Jape! Jape!

- You want a spectacle?!

Jape, he f***in' cares

about you and your dad.

I've got proof!

Pat, no, man, don't! Pat!

He's gotta see this!

I'm gonna f***in' show him!

F*** off!

- Pat, f*** off! Pat!

- Jape, look at this!

Everything's contents Smith.

I can't f***in' do this, pat!

- Aw, pull that trigger, boy!

- Bullets are gonna fly!

You do it everyday!

To me! Not to f***in'

other people!

Jesus Christ, JP!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

there you go.

This is for you, man.

- Ow! Ow! Ow!

- Too dry! Too dry!

- Lube it up good, Smith!

- Lube it up good!

Wee haw!

- Keep the rhythm going!

- That's it! That's it!

All right, all right,

here we go, boys!

- Stop filming me!

- Stop f***in' filming me!

I think he's gonna cum, bud!

I know!

Ah!

Aw, f***!

Woo wee!

Oh f***!

You took a load in the face

for me?

For the love of f***, Smith.

I had no f***in' choice.

That's how I got you back

in the race.

You jerked off an old man?

I jerked him off for you.

I jerked him off for him, man.

He f***in' shot a load at me,

man.

Do you know

what that's like?

I do.

It's f***in' horrible.

I'm sorry I f***in'

hit you so hard, man.

You guys are f***ed!

But this has been fantastic.

Thanks for havin' us.

Seriously.

Jape, come here, man.

Oh damn,

did you get it in your eye?

That always sucks.

Look, man,

you may not be able to win,

But that's the finish line

right there.

Come on, man, take your dad,

cross that motherf***er

So that I didn't just jerk off

a man for no reason.

- Come on, man, we can do this.

- Let's make this f***er proud!

Let's do it!

Pat, fire that f***in'

thing up!

This is our viral video!

This is f***in' swearnet!

This was a weird day.

No sh*t.

He did take a load

to the face.

F***.

You f***in' did it, man.

Very impressive business model

indeed, Mr. Smith.

One that lets you

all retain your feet.

Yeah!

We did it, dad!

We did it! We did it!

We did it, babe!

Don't move your f***in' legs,

man, they're f***ed!

I can't feel my f***in' legs!

Walk it off, buddy!

Don't be a p*ssy!

Get up! You can do it!

Thanks for watching, everybody,

I hope you enjoyed it...

No-No-No-No sit the f*** down. Get the

f*** back in your seats, you idiots.

The movie's over, Smith, you

can stop being an a**hole now.

The movie's not f***in' over,

the credits are on.

We don't have to call them a

f***in' idiots. I mean, they

See the credits, they probably wanna

leave and go have a drink or smoke a joint.

But the movie's not f***in'

over. Why the f*** would you

Get up and leave after

payin' f***in' money?

Who watches the f***in' there's

more sh*t coming up, for f*** sakes.

You know, it's a good

point, it's not 1995, I mean,

People are being a little dumb

here. Dumb here.

You f***in' put things in the credits.

That's what people do now, it's the standard.

- Oh, that's real cool man.

- F***in' original idea...

ah, f***in' blow me

you f***in' a**hole.

Why don't you suck my

cock Smith, you f***in' dick

- F*** you!

- When's this comin' on?

It's comin' on shut

the f*** up

I'm the f*** outta here

me too

Oh my... f***!

I don't know boys, do you

think maybe we're low balling

Them on this contract? I mean

don't these guys carry guns?

We're not low balling them.

Eighty-Five grand a year

Is more money then they'll

know what to do with.

Even if we have to go to a

hundred thousand dollars

Who gives a f***?

- Yeah I guess.

Oh look at the big, rich, fancy

f***in' room, I'm so impressed.

Ricky, f*** off!

Have a seat boys.

Just 'cuz you guys think

you own me doesn't mean

You can f***in' boss me

around tell me to sit down.

Ricky they're trying to be nice to

us, just sit the f*** down, okay?

Yeah guys look, thanks for coming

in. We don't want there to be

Any weirdness here, I mean we

bought you off your-Your last owners

And we're hoping we can work

something out to have the cameras

Follow you around again,

take a look.

I'll take that. I'm in

charge of my own f***ing

Destination from now on.

So this is a straight up

money offer or what kind of

F***ing perks are we

talkin' about here?

It's a good point

Julian. Yes gentlemen,

What are the perks

of the deal?

Actually there's some really

f***ing cool perks guys.

Julian you're a heavy drinker,

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