Syrup Page #4

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Man:

We want 50k on that, minimum.

You can't get a good-looking

priest for under 50k.

I spent hours going

through the casting.

Welcome back.

This is my office?

- [Phone ringing]

- No, that is your office.

Call me if you need anything.

Oh, and by the way,

if anyone asks, you're consulting

on an Addy Classics campaign.

- [Sighs]

- [chuckles]

So you're the new Chet.

- Excuse me?

- A word of advice...

Nothing.

[Phone ringing]

[phone ringing]

[phone beeping]

Scat, don't do that.

You feel important,

but you look pompous.

That is quite a control complex

you've got there.

I know that you enjoy

psychoanalyzing me,

but not everything I do reveals

my innermost secret feelings.

Sometimes I'm just

trying to prevent you

from embarrassing us.

You need a little leadership.

Oh, that's leadership?

What about your inability

- to accept anyone else's point of view?

- Focus. Let's focus.

- Your paranoia?

- Business savvy.

Obsessive need to know

everything that's going on?

- Organizational skills.

- Aggressiveness?

[Chuckles]

- [squeaks]

- [gulps]

Okay, that means

we're moving up the 3:00

to 2:
00, but that's fine,

we can move the 2:00--

that's the old 2:00-- to 4:00.

Mr. Pete?

Mr. Pete.

This is Scat,

a contractor I've brought in to help

- with some campaign logistics.

- [scoffs]

Man's voice:

"Marketing 545:

Creating and Sustaining

Competitive Advantage in the Workplace."

With rivalry always comes

motivation to succeed.

So what do we have?

Okay.

[Erasing]

[fluffing pillows]

[clears throat]

I know that some...

creative people can find pressure

counter-productive, but...

tomorrow's Friday.

What happens if I can't

think of anything?

I mean...

you can't really rush

this sort of thing, you know?

I have faith in you.

All right.

Okay, well...

this needs more work,

but tell me what you think.

- [Taps table]

- So we open on a beach.

Frolicking teenagers, sun, bikinis,

then a shadow falls over them.

They turn and there's

this gigantic beach ball.

I mean, it's 100' tall, right?

And as it rolls towards them,

they run and they scream and they...

- what?

- How does that sell the product?

- It's just cool.

- We don't need "just cool," Scat!

We need brilliant!

They're going to fire me, Scat.

I canceled

the old campaign already.

It's too late to go back.

Pete put me in charge of mundane

re-processing procedures,

so I just...

canceled it.

So unless you come up

with something brilliant

by 6:
00 tomorrow afternoon,

Addy will have

no summer campaign for Fukk

and we'll both be fired.

Not in a cool way.

Not dramatically.

We'll just clean out

our desks and go home.

You'll catch a bus back

to your furniture-free apartment

and disappear.

[Door slams]

Narrator:

"Business 402:

Valuable Relationships

and Synergies--

How to Cultivate

a Valuable Partnership

and Recognize When You're

Being Leveraged Unfairly."

Scat just happened

to be sick that week.

Help help-- oop.

- Six:
You can do it.

- Scat:
What?

Come up with the world's greatest ad

in less than 12 hours?

Really, you think so?

'Cause I gotta say,

at this point I think

it's more likely that I'm not.

It would be irresponsible of me,

as your manager,

to put that excess pressure on you.

This isn't excess pressure?

This feels like excess pressure.

It's simple, Scat:

yield results, keep your job.

Why'd you have to go and make

me breakfast, and then just--

- You're an adult. Try and--

- You don't give a crap about me.

- You never have. I feel used.

- You're throwing a tantrum.

Well then, you shouldn't

have made me breakfast.

I feel like I'm going

to my own execution.

You knew it was impossible,

but you still had the nerve.

You know what?

This isn't even about drama.

This is about basic respect

and human decency,

and you don't--

You can do this.

Narrator:

It only takes an 18th of a second

for a synapse in your brain

to trigger a thought

or a million-dollar idea.

[vacuum humming]

[clears throat]

What do you got?

Here's how to spot the difference

between art and marketing.

Marketing starts with an unfulfilled

need in the marketplace

and figures out how to plug it.

Art, on the other hand,

starts with the idea.

Figuring out how to sell it

comes later, if at all.

This way makes better stuff, but a lot

of the time there's no market for it.

This way makes more money,

but a lot of the time the idea sucks,

'cause you can't force ideas

to turn up when you need them.

They just do...

or they don't.

I've got nothing.

- [Vacuuming continues]

- [exhales]

What?

Well, at least you had fun.

- You just flushed me down the toilet.

- Beach balls?

I don't know, maybe we should

have gone with that.

No, we shouldn't. it was a stupid idea,

just like all your other stupid ideas.

Your company paid $2 million

for one of those stupid ideas.

- Because I sold it to them!

- You know what?

This is not cool.

This is not cool.

F***!

- F***!

- Scat, cut it out.

I feel like I'm babysitting.

It is not acceptable

to throw tantrums in public places.

[Clicks]

[bangs]

[screams]

- Don't do that.

- I am not going back to that life

where everything was annoying

and boring and sucked!

- I'm not!

- [thumping]

- People actually get killed doing that.

- [grunting]

Sh*t!

Uh-oh.

[Yelps]

Scat?

Scat!

[Distant] Scat?

[Echoing]

Scat?

Last year,

12 Americans lost their lives

while trying to steal

from vending machines.

Wouldn't you die for a Fukk?

' [Applause]

- Holy crap.

Did they just buy it?

They bought it.

- What's wrong with you?

- What?

- You're excited.

- No, I'm not.

Yes, you are, you're excited.

I'm finding you

very attractive right now.

- Really?

- [elevator dings]

[chattering]

[coughs]

[dings]

- So?

- Over it now.

[Phone ringing]

Man:

Congratulations!

[Bell rings]

Woman:
Can I have everyone's

attention, please?

Thank you.

Mr. Pete would like to congratulate

Ms. Six and Mr. Scat

on the new campaign.

This is exactly the type of initiative

that Mr. Pete likes

to foster in New Products,

so, well done.

[Applause]

By the way, I am Mr. Pete's

new personal assistant.

My name...

is Three.

That's my image!

They've stolen my image!

Come on,

you're twice the woman she is.

- That's my image.

- 'Cause three plus three...

Are you talking?

Do you know how long

it took me to develop that?

Three.

That's not even right!

Three! What is that even

supposed to mean?

What's Six supposed--

oh, of course.

[Clears throat]

Six, Scat.

Mr. Pete wanted you

to know that even though

what happened yesterday

was an unforgivable

and despicable form of sabotage,

there are no hard feelings.

Mr. Pete's only concern is

the outcome of this company.

And we're going to work

really hard to make sure

that this new campaign of yours

doesn't turn into a total disaster

that consumes both of your careers.

Understand?

Interesting look.

Make sure that security

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