Syrup Page #5

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doesn't see you up here.

Fukk!

How was that?

Six, check it out.

We got the dailies

back from the studio.

- Three:
Not bad, Scat.

- Kirstie:
Subtle, I like that.

- Not bad at all.

- I thought you were Six.

- Kirstie:
I'm not Spock.

- Seriously...

isn't this a little demeaning?

Kirstie:
Oops, said his name.

He was a f***ing sick...

Let me ask you something--

and I know that this

is super personal,

but I was just kind of wondering...

why do you like Six so much?

Is it because you like

to be pushed around?

No, of course not. Well--

maybe that's part of it.

You know it's not real, right?

You know there's not

one thing genuine about her.

You know that she's not even

a real lesbian, right?

Yeah, of course I know that.

You could have saved me

some embarrassment.

Scat, there is nothing real

about her. She's just image!

Why do you shackle yourself to her?

Sneaky Pete will take care of you...

- and so will I.

- No no no, you don't know Six...

at all.

[Breathes deeply]

Six:

It's cold tonight.

So you should sleep with me.

[Pop music playing]

A standard Vegas striptease

is seven minutes long.

The woman should remove her top

at the four-minute mark.

At six minutes,

she should be naked...

with the exception

of an optional prop.

The beginner's mistake is

to get naked too fast,

thinking that's what

the audience is there for.

It's not.

Sex is biology.

Sex appeal

is marketing.

It's not the naked body

that's exciting.

It's the possibility.

[Music stops]

That's your side.

All right?

You stay on that side

and this is my side.

There is...

no need for overlap.

Okay.

And don't fidget.

You have a tendency

to fidget sometimes.

Don't do that.

- Okay.

- Scat, that word.

[Street noise]

[sirens blaring]

- [slaps]

- Ow! What was that?

- What do you think you're doing?

- I am kissing you!

- I'm not your little woman!

- You invited me to bed!

You can't ever

take me for granted!

- What am I doing here?

- I don't know!

- I-- I don't know.

- Do you care about me?

Be honest with me, do you?

Do you care about me?

Look, I am begging you, Six.

lam begging you

just to be honest with me

and to give me one clear sign.

Look, I like you.

I need to know if you

feel anything for me.

Or if I'm just some naive moron that

you're using to get what you want.

[Sighs]

You're more than

a naive moron to me.

[jet engine roars]

There's a time

When my love...

No, I'm doing Boston.

I thought you were doing New York.

Six:
No, Sneaky Pete

is doing New York.

He's doing "Letterman."

He doesn't even speak!

I guess I'll just do

Seattle and come home.

- When my love was real...

- [helicopter blades]

- I feel so cold...

- [boarding call]

Every time...

And when are you coming home?

- Well, I guess in two days?

- When my love was real...

- Hurry.

- I feel so cold

- When a love is gone

- When our love is gone

Our love, I'm over you

- I'm over you

- When our love is gone

When our love is gone

I'll be long gone

And over you...

[vocalizing]

I'm home.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

- Will you be paying compensation?

- How do you feel about this?

What do you say to the family?

Can you answer that question?

TV reporter:
A community is in mourning,

and there's talk tonight of

an investigation after a vending machine

tipped over on top of a teenage boy.

Reporter #2:
Family and friends

are remembering the freshman...

Boy:
I just heard a loud thud.

I didn't think anything of it

until I looked over.

There were cans every...

Reporter #2:

Behind me you can see

an incredible display

of cards, flowers...

Reporter #1:
...says that about

40 students have taken advantage

of the grief counseling at the school.

Some have even had to go home.

[Distant sirens]

Do you ever stop and think about

the people that we manipulate...

into wanting something so badly...

they'd do anything for a goddamn

energy drink. And for what?

I mean, why?

Why do you do this?

Is there anything genuine about you?

About what you do?

And do you feel important?

Do you feel empowered?

Is that it?

What happens when you go home

and get into bed

and realize that you're no one?

And you look at me

with those stupid, sexy eyes.

F***!

And I just want to know you.

Six, I just want to know you.

That's all I've ever wanted

is to know you.

You could say that

Parker Meehan was typical.

- [Birds chirping]

- He played basketball.

He got passing grades.

He hoped one day

to become an architect,

like his father.

But that dream is gone.

Snuffed out

because like so many

typical teenagers,

Parker decided to try

something that he saw

on TV.

- [Woman sobs]

- On television, a falling Addy machine

doesn't seem like it would hurt.

In fact, it seems almost funny, but...

Parker tragically discovered

that life is not always like it is

on TV.

Would anyone care

to share a few words?

- [lawnmower]

- [birds chirping]

I would.

Yes, please, come up.

Scat. Scat!

I used to think that it didn't matter.

I was so lost

with what we could do...

that I never considered

whether we should.

It's a great power that we wield.

It's a great and terrible power.

Maybe we've forgotten

that one basic truth:

power requires responsibility.

I don't know.

Maybe us marketers

have lost our way.

- You know...

- Scat, come on.

- Let's go, come on.

- What the hell are you doing?

- What?

- Don't these people

look awfully attractive to you?

I saw the blonde use an eye irritant.

I'm pretty sure that brunette on the end

was in the Addy '07 campaign.

Scat, these people are actors!

Come on.

That prick.

Pastor:

ls everything all right?

Parker Meehan is not dead!

- Scat, Scat!

- Son! No no no.

- Stop, no no!

- It's marketing!

- [People gasp]

- It's fake! It's marketing, it's--

[people gasp]

Aha! You see?

Do you see? I told you.

Sh*t!

Narrator:

Occasionally, just occasionally,

your company will be caught in a lie.

It's not good.

If possible,

immediately fire somebody expendable

and publicly apologize.

If not, you gotta stick to the lie.

Remember, perception is reality.

Six:

Yes, that-- that looked bad.

Chairman:
Looked bad?

[chuckles]

We've spent $400 million

on our image this year.

And your boy goes on television,

tips over a coffin,

pulls out a mannequin,

- and shakes it!

- Yes, I-I--

- we know that this is a PR disaster.

- [moans]

And we know we need a scapegoat,

but let's be very clear as to who

that scapegoat should be.

This whole debacle was deliberately

arranged by Sneaky Pete.

Let's not go accusing people

without evidence.

We have absolutely no proof...

- [distant vacuuming]

- [sighs]

Gentlemen, I am confident that

an event this expensive

can be traced to his expense account.

I don't know enough about marketing

to speculate on Mr. Pete's motives,

but if it's true, then I would feel

fairly confident that it was part--

- No. The situation here is very clear.

- No what?

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