Tag Page #7

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HOGAN:
Yeah, that's a good move.

Good one, Jer!

(WHISTLES)

There he is!

Hello, boys.

What?

(JERRY WHISTLES)

CHILLI:

Okay, how's he doing this?

All right, Jerry, stop!

SABLE:
He's multiplying!

It's happening!

- What the f***?

- There's one!

(ALL SCREAM)

- Hey!

- What?

There's so many.

There's so many!

There he is!

I'm coming for you, Jerry!

Chilli, you're not even it!

(PANTING)

I'm on your ass!

(YELLS) Come on!

Oh, sh*t!

Sh*t!

This is terrible.

This is pure bullshit.

We should not be here.

This is gettin'

way too extreme.

I need you to buck up, Sable.

- Yeah.

- Come on, let's stay focused.

Yeah, we bucked up

out of the goddamn golf cart.

You smell that?

Do you smell it?

It's Jerry. I smell him.

It's leaves and grass.

And centipedes.

Just typical woods stuff.

He's close.

I can feel it.

I can feel something.

(CRACKLING)

Oh, sh*t!

- Jesus. Oh, my God.

- Sh*t.

- Oh, my God.

- Wow, that's crazy.

(HOGAN LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

Our friend is a psychopath,

and this is scary.

He got me. I'm down.

This is on you now. Come here.

Let me tag you.

Come on!

All right.

(WHISPERS) I can see him.

He's at three o'clock.

50 yards out.

- Three o'clock. Got it.

- Three o'clock.

(WHISPERS) Sable!

That three o'clock.

- You didn't say which time zone, man!

- That's not time zones.

Why didn't you just point the first time?

Next time, just point.

It's that way. Go!

Go, go, go!

Go, Sable, go!

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(GASPS)

I see you.

Yeah, motherf***er.

You're it!

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

Oh, I don't like that.

Shh.

Sleep.

Sable?

Sable?

What happened?

We got chloroformed.

Chloroformed? What?

Bob took our car, and now we're in a Lyft.

We're going to the Sandpiper.

I don't wanna be it anymore.

I don't wanna be it.

Hoagie, it's on you, bud.

SABLE:
Now, what the f***?

Wait. I'm confused.

What just happened in there?

Well, Jerry woke up early,

got some grounds crew

to go out in the woods, build some

snares and a swinging log trap

and wear matching outfits

to act as decoys.

Maniac.

Are you okay?

Yes, yes. I am. I'm good.

I am amazed that you're able to

stay so optimistic after all that.

Well, some have said I am the

heart and soul of the game.

No, you've said that.

You're the only person

I've heard say that.

Well, technically "just me" fits the legal

definition of "some" so suck a dick.

Well, it seems like the game has

really kept you guys connected.

- Exactly.

- Well, except Jerry.

What? Don't say that.

How often do you see Jerry

outside of tag?

Well, not super frequently,

but...

Would you consider that

a close friendship?

Well, that's kind of

a dicky question.

HOGAN:
Thank you.

All I'm saying is Callahan

better f***ing be here.

(HOGAN CHUCKLES)

- What's up? What?

- Look who decided to show up.

What? I had a business call with Beijing.

Couldn't be helped. I'm sorry.

Business call with Beijing? It would

have been 8:
00 a.m. Saturday out there.

You doing business calls

at 8:
00 a.m. Saturday morning?

Why do you know so much

about Beijing time zones?

2008 Olympics.

Michael Phelps, baby.

Fair enough.

Okay, anyway, I have an idea.

- Anybody want to hear it?

- Yes.

- What is it?

- Jerry's gym.

Someone there's gotta know

where he is.

- I like this. That's a good idea.

- Great!

- Up top! Buckle up, gang!

- Yes! Giddy up!

- You're it, by the way.

- What's wrong?

- My f***ing knee.

- What's wrong with your knee?

I got hit by a log.

You got hit by a log, what?

We were chasing him. I got hit by

a f***ing log. It really hurts.

I'm gonna go in. F***, I'm

pissed off about this, but go.

You want me to call

the pediatrician?

- I'm an adult. I don't need a pediatrician.

- You're not coming?

I think I'm gonna slow you down.

Why don't you guys go?

After the gym, let's meet up.

All right, fine.

Trust me, I wanna go...

Y'all need a sub? Huh?

I'm in!

HOGAN:
We're super good, man.

Thanks!

We're good.

Who's banned now, b*tch?

(GRUNTS) I'm okay. All right, guys.

Take it easy!

(LOU GASPS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Oh, that knee healed up fast.

Stay out of this, Lou.

LOU:
Oh, you saucy devil.

Hey, there, welcome to Granite Fitness.

Get hard, stay hard.

Just so you guys know, we're going

to be closing in five short minutes,

but is there anything

I can help you with?

Yes, Dave, in fact there is

something you could help us with.

How would you

like to earn $500?

Okay, just so you guys know, I'm not

sucking your guys' d*cks, all right?

And I'm not letting you

suck my dick either.

No one is talking about anyone

sucking anyone's anything.

You sure about that? 'Cause

this guy's eyeing me hard.

- What?

- I'm just saying, man,

- you've got that vibe.

- Yeah?

Stop it.

Hey, Sable, seriously. Chill.

- Just stop it.

- Stop it?

It's too sexual.

You're undressing me,

literally, right now

with your eyes.

Dave. 500 bucks, and all we

want is to know where Jerry is.

Oh! Jerry. Yes, okay, sh*t.

He did mention that some people were

gonna swing by looking for him.

He left a message.

Oh, yeah.

Go f*** yourselves.

Okay, look. $1,000.

All right? Easy money.

Jerry won't even know

that you sold him out.

I got a better idea.

Why don't you go back

to the little Best Western

that you're staying in

and jerk each other off

in the nude?

Why do you keep taking this

conversation into a sexual direction?

Listen, Dave. $1,500.

Don't be an idiot.

Not a chance,

you dick-suckin' homophobes.

- Hey!

- What?

Dave?

Do you know

what we're gonna do?

What?

We're gonna waterboard you.

Don't be a hero, Dave.

Jerry doesn't give

a sh*t about you.

So tell us where he is.

I'm never gonna tell you.

Last chance, Dave.

You're not gonna go through

with this for some game,

so quit jerking me off!

Oh, Jesus.

No one's jerking you off, kid.

'Cause Jerry has pushed us

to the f***ing edge.

If you don't tell us

what we need to know,

you're going over

the edge with us.

You ready to die

for this sh*t?

I'd rather die than get

sucked off by you homophobes.

We're not gonna suck you off,

we're gonna waterboard you.

I'm just taking

a principled stand right now.

Okay. Well, guess what. Now,

this is gonna happen. All right?

Are you ready? I hope you

can hold your breath, son!

Do it!

BOB:
'Cause this is going

right down!

- Yeah!

- You son of a b*tch!

BOB:
Here it comes!

It's coming! It's coming!

Yeah. You know, we should not.

I feel like it would be too much.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

That got outta hand.

My heart is beating

really fast right now.

We were just kidding,

we were just bluffing.

- No, we weren't f***ing bluffing!

- Anna, Anna, Anna!

- Oh, my God, no. Just, no.

- Sweetheart.

It's a war crime, right?

It's not really who we are.

Yep, sorry.

We got a kinky cat over here.

- Okay.

- F*** you, Dave.

God, I love your passion.

I'll tell you what.

I will tell you where

Jerry's gonna be

for $2,000. Cash. American.

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