Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny Page #5

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I noticed the guitars

in the back seat of your car.

Yeah, well, I said,

we're f***in' businessmen.

We sell guitars. So what?

Big deal. End of story.

Check, please!

You're sure you aren't planning...

on breaking into

the Rock & Roll History Museum?

Hey, gimme that back, man!

Yeah, my buddy and I are in a band.

I don't like to say the name,

but uh, we had some hits...

And so, uh, they're inductin' us...

into the Rock & Roll History Museum.

- No way!

- Aaah.

Way.

Oh, my God. We're sitting

with someone famous?

Ah, we're just regular guys.

I mean, uh,

we're just flesh and... bone.

Let's just say you are planning...

on breaking into

the Rock & Roll History Museum.

Maybe you are inexperienced...

and you get inside

and cry like little girl.

Maybe you don't have

what it takes to get the job done.

'Scuse me.

Man, God!

Yeah. Damn.

I was thinking maybe there

was something in that museum...

you had a desire for.

Maybe...

Pick of Destiny!

Our sorority is throwing

a huge bash tonight.

You guys should totally come...

and play some

of your songs at the party.

We're just getting ready

to head over there right now.

Why don't you follow us over?

You know what?

That sounds rad.

We don't usually play private parties...

but I think we can make

some dreams come true tonight.

Hee hee hee hee!

I'll ride along with you.

So you don't get lost.

I tried to get

the Pick of Destiny once.

I had it in my hands, too.

But I was caught. Set off a laser.

Security door came down on my leg.

- Cut it right off.

- Ooh.

I would break in again

if I still had my leg.

My leg. Oh, man.

I miss that sweet-ass leg of mine.

Why are you telling me this?

I like you. I see the spark

in your eye that I once had.

Let me show you something.

These are my plans.

They will help you, I promise.

There are two air ducts on the roof.

You must enter through there.

Speak of this to no one!

Wait.

Wait, I have some questions.

Let me wipe.

Hold up, dude.

Dude. I got some smokin' bettys

over there...

and they want us to play a gig.

No. I just had the weirdest

conversation of my life.

This guy just gave me

the perfect plan.

Now, look.

There's two air ducts on the roof.

Dude. The party?

Gettin' to play our own tunes?

That blonde over there wants

to ride my wrinklestick, yo.

Would you get your head out of

the f***in' p*ssy-clouds, man?

Who cares about these chicks?

There's gonna be ten times

hotter babes backstage...

when we win album of the year.

This pick is our ticket to genius.

Dude. I can't believe you'd

pass by a gig opportunity...

with some sweet-ass hotties...

What, for this?

Ls this really

that important to you? Huh?

We can still write a masterpiece

and win that dough.

Maybe it would be better for the D...

if we worked on our songwriting...

instead of relying on ancient bullshit, but...

probably won't work anyway.

What's it gonna be, Kyle?

You have to decide.

Tits or destiny?

Tits.

So, good luck, buddy.

I hope it was worth it,

because we're done.

You ruined it. Pick's mine.

F*** you. I don't f***in' need you.

Later, cock-ass!

Uh, don't mind him. He...

He's my butler.

Had to let him go for loafin'.

He... he'll... he'll be fine.

Excuse me, um, are you gonna

charge us for all the refills?

No, you're so pretty,

you get everything for free.

Well, that's a really good deal.

## Ohhh, ahhh, whoa, why? ##

## Woo! ##

lt's just a five-mile walk.

I can walk that.

I don't need a car.

I'll take the f***in' shoelace express.

Aaaah!

- Woo!

- F*** you!

## I want you, Jyne ##

## All the time ##

## I want you, Jyne ##

- Where we goin'?

- ## I want you, Jyne ##

## Gonna make you mine ##

## Tonight ##

Stop. Stop the music.

Everybody, we have got

a special surprise tonight.

We have brought with us someone...

who just happens to be a rock star!

Whoo!

That's in town to be conducted...

into the Rock & Roll History Museum.

- Whoo!

- Yeah!

And he promised to come here tonight...

and play us a few of his hits.

- Oh...

- So...

- You know...

- Let's give it up!

- Whoo!

- I don't have a guitar.

I don't have my gui...

I don't have a guitar.

- All right!

- Whoo!

- All right, come on!

- Um...

This is a song, um...

I wrote with my partner.

My f... former partner.

And, uh, it's called

The History Of Tenacious D.

- Whoo!

- Whoo!

- Nice!

- Yeah!

## Across the Devil's plain ##

Huh?

## He did not die in vain, no ##

- That sucked.

- Yeah.

## I want you, Jyne ##

- ## Need it all the time ##

- Ha ha ha!

- That sucked.

- ## I want you, Jyne ##

## Oh, girl, you're so divine ##

## I want you, Jyne ##

One more and that's it.

Aah.

It's a good thing

I found these mushrooms.

I was f***ing starving.

Mmm. Mm.

Aah.

This place is kinda...

juicy.

Zzzzzhing!

Ha ha ha!

Hee hee!

Oh, my God! Sasquatch!

Aaaaah!

Jables! What's up?

Ho ho ho!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

What are you doin' out here?

I was just walkin'

in your beautiful forest.

Oh, it's not my fowest, bwother.

It's evewyone's.

You're so f***in' awesome.

I love yoooou!

I love you too, JB.

You're a awesome rocker.

Ha ha ha!

Whoo!

- Let's pway!

- Ha ha ha!

Aaaaah!

Aaaaah-oooh!

That's good.

- Let's go on a adventure.

- Yeah!

I got lots to show you.

Can I be a Sasquatch too?

You alweady are.

You're my son, JB.

My widdle baby Sass.

## La-la-lai-la ##

## La, la, la-la-la-la-la-la ##

Oh!

Let's take a dip

in the stwawberry wiver!

- Yay!

- Come on!

Oooh!

## Let's go ##

Ohhhh! Yeah. This is fun.

Ohhhhh!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Good times.

- This is fun.

- Good times.

This is... This is super fun!

Ha ha ha!

Ohhh!

Ha ha! Daddy, look. Look.

It's stuck to my butt.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Shake your tushie, it'll fall off.

- Aah!

- Oh!

Let's get wid of these.

- Ah!

- ## Ooh, la-la-la, ooh ##

- Time to fly.

- Yeah.

- Whee.

- Ha ha ha! Whee!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

- Hee hee! Hee hee hee!

- We're flying!

- Hee hee! Hee hee hee!

- We're flying!

- We're flying!

- Hold on, boy!

## Found where the Sasquatch hide ##

## In the misty mountainside ##

## He's got shiny diamonds

that he's got to protect ##

## Look into the Sasquatch eye ##

## Then you know

that Sass can fly ##

## Sasquatch is my daddy

and he's going to protect me! ##

## Half man and half machine ##

## On the cover of a magazine ##

## Bigfoot is my father

and he's got to protect me! ##

## These lyrics don't make sense ##

## Think I've found the evidence ##

## That yeti is my papa

and he wants to protect... ##

## Me! ##

Do you know where

I can find the Pick of Destiny?

Sure! Lt's right over there!

Oh! Let's get it!

I can get it if I surf on your...

Aaah! Aaah! Aaah!

Aaaaah! Sweet baby!

Oh! Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaah!

Ow!

Oh, God!

Hoo hoo hoo hoo!

Oh! Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Where the f*** am I?

Yeah, you motherf***er.

I'm gonna get that son...

## Dude, I totally miss you ##

## I really f***in' miss you ##

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