Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny Page #7

Synopsis: This is the story of a friendship that changes the course of rock history forever, of the fateful collision of minds between JB and KG that led to the creation of the precedent-shattering band Tenacious D, and of the two heroes' quest to find the fabled Guitar Pick Of Destiny...
Director(s): Liam Lynch
Production: New Line Cinema
  2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.8
Metacritic:
55
Rotten Tomatoes:
54%
R
Year:
2006
93 min
$8,199,999
Website
4,659 Views


## Now it's totally lame ##

## KG really f***in'

blew a synapse ##

## Now we're f***in' headed

for a total collapse ##

## Car chase city,

run away from the fuzz ##

## Thought that we wasn't

but we totally was ##

## Car chase city,

now we're off-a the map ##

## Car chase city,

now we're takin' a crap ##

- ## Now it's gettin' hairy ##

- Oh, f***!

- ## So we're changin' the key ##

- God damn it!

## Never underestimate

the power of D ##

## KG f***in' put his foot on the gas ##

## lf I go to prison,

hide the pick in my ass ##

## F*** this sh*t, it's gone too far ##

## Kage, pull over,

let me out of the car ##

The car is severely damaged.

The perpetrators appear to be

two heavyset males...

driving a blue Cutlass Supreme.

## Car chase city,

now we're takin' the lane ##

## KG blew it now we're goin' insane ##

## Let's rock, let's roll,

let me try to fill up your... ##

Let's go now to Mark in Skycop...

God damn it!

- Yeah?

- Hey, you guys!

- F***!

- It's Lee.

I'm just checkin' in.

Is everything OK?

Yeah, we're cool. We're super cool.

Ah! Ahh!

Um, where are you guys?

We're, uh, we're at the drive-in.

We're watchin this bitchin' movie.

It's, uh, Cop Chase 3.

Have you seen it?

Aaaaaah!

Uh, no. I haven't seen that one.

Whoa!

Sounds scary, though.

Yeah. Uh, it's really f***ing scary.

I'm shaking right now, I'm so scared.

Cool. Well, how was that, uh...

big power meeting you guys had?

Awesome. I'll tell you about it later.

You're makin' us miss the movie.

I think I lost em!

Gaah!

## Gas! Brakes! ##

## Spinnin' donuts,

spinnin' donuts, go! ##

I can do this.

## Flip flip! ##

- ## Gas ##

- Nooo!

- ## Nitro! ##

- Go!

## Aaaaah! ##

We're gonna need

paramedics and fire trucks.

These guys are toast.

Let's get the f*** outta here.

Let's go.

Uh, which way, which way?

OK, where?

That way! That way!

This is it, I think.

Uh! Oooh! Uh!

- Lemme sneak a peek.

- OK.

Uh! Huh.

- This is it.

- Oh.

C'mon.

Oh, f***.

- Let's do this.

- OK.

Hey. Hey.

Hey, guys, you're runnin' a little late.

There's one spot left.

You got any new material?

What we got's gonna turn

your brain into sh*t.

Dust off the stage,

open mic host. Step aside.

OK, big shots.

You're up whenever you're ready.

Let's blister this a**hole.

Jack, wait! You got the pick?

Yeah. Got it right here.

Let's go.

Maybe I should use it tonight

and you use it next time.

I should use it tonight.

I'm the lead singer.

Huh! Lt's a guitar pick.

I'm lead guitar.

OK, dude, don't freak out on me.

Let's just work this out rationally, OK?

We'll take turns with it.

I'll use it now, you'll use it later.

I'm not freakin' out,

you're freakin' out.

Now, just let me hold it

for one second!

You're never gonna use

this f***in' pick.

Aaah!

Aaaah!

- No!

- No!

You guys, the crowd's

gettin' restless in there.

- No!

- Hey, wh-what's...

What's goin' on?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

what's wrong?

We can't go on.

We had the demon's pick...

but then we broke it...

and now our masterpiece

will never happen.

We can't pay the rent because

we won't be fueled by Satan.

Come on, get up, get up.

Come on, come on. Stand up.

You're all right.

You guys, having

some satanic guitar pick...

isn't gonna make

your rock any better...

because Satan's not

in a guitar pick...

he's inside all of us.

He's in here.

In your hearts.

He's what makes us

not want to go to work...

exercise, or tell the truth.

He's what makes us want to party...

and have sex with each other

all night long.

He's that little voice in your mind...

that says, "F*** you"

to the people you hate.

Now, you can stay out here

and fight on the ground...

and cry like babies.

Or you can go in there

like friends and rock.

So, what's it gonna be?

Let's go in there and show 'em

what Tenacious D is all about.

Yeah.

I already got a guitar pick anyways.

C'mon.

Dude, we can still use the pick.

You use one half, I'll use the other.

There's still some juice

in there, probably.

- You know what I mean?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where is that?

Aaaah!

## I am complete ##

## Fu-uck ##

## Yes, you are f***ed ##

## Sh*t out of luck ##

## Now I'm complete

and my cock you will suck ##

## This world will be mine ##

## And you're first in line ##

## You brought me the pick

and now you shall both die ##

## Wait, wait, wait,

you motherf***er ##

## We challenge you

to a rock-off ##

## Give us one chance

to rock your socks off ##

## F***! F***! F***! ##

## The demon code prevents me ##

## From declining

a rock-off challenge ##

## What are your terms? ##

## What's the ca-a-atch? ##

## lf we win you must take

your sorry ass back to hell ##

## And also you will have

to pay our rent ##

## And what if I win? ##

## Then you can take

Kage back to Hell ##

What?

Trust me, Kage.

It's the only way.

What are you talking about?

## To be your little b*tch ##

Fine!

## Let the rock-off begin! ##

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!

## I'm the Devil, I love metal ##

## Check this riff,

it's f***ing tasty ##

## I'm the Devil,

I can do what I want ##

## Whatever I've got,

I'm gonna flaunt ##

## There's never been

a rock-off that I've ever lost ##

## I can't wait to take

Kage back to hell ##

## I'm gonna fill him

with my hot demon's gel ##

## I'll make you squeal

like the Scarlet Pimpernel ##

## No! ##

Come on, Kage!

Let's fight his music with our music.

## There's just no way

that we can win ##

- ## That was a masterpiece ##

- Listen to me.

## He rocks too hard

because he's not a mortal man ##

Goddamnit, Kage.

## He gonna make you

his sex slave ##

## You gonna gargle mayonnaise ##

- No.

- ## Unless we bust ##

## A massive monster mamojam ##

## Dude, we've been

through so much sh*t ##

## Deactivated lasers

with my dick ##

## Now it's time

to blow this f***er down ##

## Come on, Kage, now

it's time to blow doors down ##

## I hear ya, Jables, now

it's time to blow doors down ##

## Light up the stage 'cause

it's time for a showdown ##

## We'll bend you over then we'll

take ya to brown town ##

## Now we've got

to blow this f***er down ##

## He's gonna rape me

if we do not blow doors down ##

## C'mon, Kage 'cause it's time

to blow doors down ##

## Ooooh we'll pile-drive ya,

it's time for the smack down ##

## Hey, Antichrist-a, Beelzeboss ##

## We know your weakness ##

## Our rock it sauce ##

## We rock the Casbah,

and blow your mind ##

## We will defeat you

for all mankind ##

## You hold the scepter,

we hold the key ##

## You are the Devil,

we are the D ##

## We are the D,

we are the D, we are the D ##

## We are the D, we are the D,

we are the D, we are the D ##

## We are the D,

we are the D, we are the D ##

## We are the D, we are the D,

we are the D, we are the D ##

## We are the D,

we are the D, we are the D ##

You guys are f***in' lame!

C'mon, Kage,

you're comin' with me.

Taste my lightning, f***er.

Rate this script:5.0 / 2 votes

Jack Black

Thomas Jacob "Jack" Black (born August 28, 1969) is an American actor, comedian, musician, singer and songwriter. His acting career has been extensive, starring primarily in comedy films. Black is known for his roles in Shallow Hal (2001), School of Rock (2003), King Kong (2005), The Holiday (2006), the Kung Fu Panda franchise (2008–2016), Tropic Thunder (2008), Gulliver's Travels (2010), Goosebumps (2015), and Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017). He has been nominated for two Golden Globe Awards. Black is the lead vocalist of the comedic rock duo Tenacious D which he formed in 1994 with friend Kyle Gass. They have released the albums Tenacious D, The Pick of Destiny, and Rize of the Fenix. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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