The Adventures of Baron Munchausen Page #3

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I have a plan!

I will set forth immediately...

find my extraordinary servants...

with their help,

raze the siege and save the town.

Oh, brilliant.

Oh, very good. Bravo!

- How?

- Ladies, I'll require your assistance.

Of course.

- Anything!

- Just tell us what to do.

Kindly be so good

as to remove your knickers.

Yes, well done there.

Look at all that underwear.

Isn't it beautiful?

It's like a dream come true.

It's the dawning of the age...

of lovely, intimate things.

But it's madness.

He'll kill himself.

- Yeah, but well worth it, eh?

- What are you doing?

Enough nattering.

Keep pumping!

Hey.

Better report this.

You're right.

We need a very simple plan.

These are far too complicated.

- Simplicity is of the essence.

- Sir.

Those actors

have made an air balloon.

They're trying to escape.

Arrest them at once.

Thrown them

out of the town.

We can't open the gates, sir.

Well, throw them

over the walls, then.

Yes, sir.

We can't start escaping

at a time like this.

What would future generations

think of us?

Right.

Follow me!

Just hold it!

Don't let it go!

Hold it, Adolphus!

Bring it down.

Yes.

Bring the ladder over here.

Take care!

Baron!

- Oi! Have you seen Sally?

- No!

- Oh, thank you, my dear.

- Stop!

- You're under arrest!

- Let go!

Quickly!

Quickly! Let go!

Take aim!

Fire!

Ladies and gentlemen...

I shall shortly return

with reinforcements.

Don't lose heart.

And for all those ladies...

to whom I am indebted

for half a ton...

of frilly silk

and lacey linen :

Don't catch cold!

Au revoir.

Stay, Argus!

I'll soon be back.

I will wait for you!

Come back soon!

He won't get far

on hot air and fantasy.

Blast!

Hang on!

Keep--

- Thanks.

- Now you've ruined everything!

I'll have to douse the fire

to let you down.

- I'll never get off again!

- I'm going with you.

I absolutely utterly refuse!

If we go down now,

we'll land on the Turks.

We've got to find

your servants...

and get back here quickly.

That is what I had in mind.

- Where are we going?

- To the moon.

What? That'll take ages!

- No, it won't.

- Of course it will.

- Why are we going there?

- That's where I last saw Berthold.

Have you ever been

to the moon?

- No.

- Ah! Interesting place.

The king and queen

are charming.

You know

about their detachable heads...

don't you?

No.

Their heads go off

for intellectual pursuits...

while their bodies engage

in more...

bodily activities.

The trouble is their heads and bodies

don't always see eye to eye.

You do believe me,

don't you?

I'm doing my best.

Are you scared?

Certainly not!

- You?

- Certainly not!

Grab the rope!

We're here!

You look different.

Younger.

I always feel rejuvenated

by a touch of adventure.

Heaven's sake. Don't you get any younger

or I'll have to find a wet nurse.

Look!

You'll find that I'm one

of the king's special favorites.

We shall receive

a right royal welcome.

Now what?

I got you at last.

Your Majesty, what a great pleasure

it is to see you again.

May I introduce

my friend Sally?

Sally, King of the Moon.

Well, his head at any rate.

I'm sorry, you must refer to me

by my complete title...

King of Everything...

Re di Tutto,

but you may call me "Ray."

The moon is a very insignificant

part of my domain now.

There is so much, much more.

My old friend, you seem to be

in some discomfort.

What ails you?

Nothing ails me. Can you not see

that I am at one with the cosmos?

I tell you that,

and all you can say is, "ah"?

What are you blind?

Baron, let me explain it to you.

Since you were last here, I, that is

my head, that which is left of me...

where the brilliant

and important parts are located...

is now ruling and governing

the known universe.

And that which I don't know,

I create.

I just created spring.

But seriously, without me,

there would be nothing. Not even you.

I think, therefore you is.

Your old friend's a lunatic.

So it would seem.

Certainly fallen prey

to delusions of grandeur.

Being in tune with every molecule

in the universe...

requires a great deal

of concentration.

That is why having you on the loose,

Baron, does not help.

You see, your little stories

are somewhat of a distraction to me.

You are like a mosquito

in the Taj Mahal.

I must inform you, My Liege, without

my adventures, you wouldn't be here.

Well, so I am now part

of your adventures.

Well, we shall see

about that, huh?

Now, Baron.

Who created who?

I hope you'll be

very comfortable. Ciao.

There goes my revolting body

with the queen.

Oh, stop it!

Oh, I'm tired!

- I'm exhausted!

- Go away! Damn it. He can't hear me.

Please, oh!

Oh, you stinking horrible man!

Oh, it's so embarrassing.

Please don't look.

Maybe he will go away.

It is hard to believe

my body and I were ever attached.

We are totally incompatible.

He is dangling from the food chain,

and I am in the stars.

It is so unmetaphysical.

No! No, go away!

I despise you!

Let me go!

I'm back!

I got lips again,

and I'm going to use them, baby!

It's me!

I'm your elephant of joy!

- Give me bacio, baby!

- Yes, but eat first, darling!

That's right.

You've got to mangia before bacio!

You can't do that

when you don't got no mouth!

Baron!

I'm back in business.

Oh, yeah.

You don't go nowhere.

- Baron.

- Oh, most wondrous Majesty.

Hey, I know you.

You're the little guy tried to make off

with my queen the last time.

- Huh?

- Moi?

We have no more of that,

piccolo Casanova.

What are you looking at?

There you go, lovebirds.

I'm sure you'll be

very uncomfortable.

I am free again.

Free to concentrate on higher things.

Why don't you go back

and amuse yourself with this slime?

Oh, you missed me!

I'm blind! Wait! My kingdom

for a handkerchief! Wait!

Let me go! I've got tides to regulate!

Comets to direct!

I don't have time

for flatulence and orgasms!

I hate that face

you make me make. That--

Please. Please, no!

I don't want any more bodily functions!

Oh, no.

Please let me go!

- I don't have time for this!

- Farewell, Baron.

One of the king's favorites?

This cage isn't real.

It's just part

of the king's lunacy.

It seems solid enough to me.

I see we're not in a very helpful

frame of mind.

How are we supposed

to save the town from here?

The town is perfectly all right.

The peasant assault is over.

Everyone is quite safe.

How do you know?

I just know.

What the devil?

All right. I'm coming.

My hand!

Come out.

Come out of there.

- Come out of there!

- Ow! Stop that!

- What did you do that for?

- I thought you might be unfriendly.

Of course I'm unfriendly.

- You'd be unfriendly if I prodded you.

- Who are you?

I can't remember.

- I've been here so long.

- We'll be like that...

if we don't escape.

Why are you here?

Oh, I'm a very wicked criminal.

- What have you done?

- I can't remember.

How do you know you're wicked?

Well, for one thing...

I'm in here.

And for another...

I've got these shackles on.

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