The Awful Truth Page #6

and l`m sorry.

-lt was nothing at all.

-Nothing?

Nothing except the most ridiculous

and sickening exhibition...

mortal man ever made of himself.

I don`t know why I act like that.

Unless it`s because of the effect

that Duvalle has on me.

I never knew anyone

that can aggravate me the way he does.

-I can`t think about him without seeing red.

-You shouldn`t get so excited.

A mere mention of his name

and I feel positively murderous.

You do?

-What`s the matter with you?

-Nothing.

I was just thinking about your problem.

You certainly have a problem.

I know I have a problem,

and I know how I feel, too.

I guess there`s nothing I can do about it.

Look at Mr. Smith.

-I guess he wants to play.

-Yes.

Here, you go and hide it for him.

No fair peeking, Smitty.

All right, let`s go. Come on.

Oh, no, you`re cold.

You`re colder than ice. Cold, cold.

Oh, boy, what`s wrong with you?

Nice going, fellow. Let it go. Good boy.

Well, Lucy...

the main idea is, do you accept my apology?

Besides making a blue-ribbon sap of myself

today, I must have embarrassed you terribly.

You took it fine, though.

-You must admit you were--

-Yes.

-What was that?

-Nothing, just an old mirror.

-The boy`s getting worse every day.

-Mr. Smith, that`s a fine thing.

I`m surprised at you.

Trying to get rid of me?

No, he wasn`t trying to get rid of you,

you know it.

Well, I really hadn`t planned

to leave so soon.

I thought, if you have nothing to do,

you might like to go for a drive with me.

Well, the air will do you good,

and we can talk things over?

-l`d love that. Yes, it would do me good.

-Swell.

-Where`s your car?

-Downstairs, in the garage.

While l`m changing,

you get the car and l`ll meet you out front.

-Okay, dear.

-I won`t be a minute.

That`s funny, I only bought the hat

an hour ago and look at it.

Did you have a haircut, maybe?

-No.

-No?

Maybe you have it on backwards.

Put it on the other way around.

Well, I hadn`t thought of that. Wait a minute.

Yes, there, now that`s more becoming.

It is a bit roomy. Maybe they`re wearing

them that way this year.

Well, l`m not.

Looks mighty funny to me.

Look at your ears. That`s why.

Your ears are all down.

What`s wrong with it?

-Stick your ears up underneath.

-Don`t be silly.

How can you stick your ears up?

That`s no good.

Well, I always put my ears in.

-Who`s there?

-Me, and my ma.

Lucy, l`ve caused you enough trouble

for one day.

He better not find me here.

I`ll duck in the other room.

No, no, but....

Could you....

-Hello, there.

-Hello, Aunt Patsy.

Good evening, Mrs. Leeson.

Good evening, Mrs. Leeson.

Lucy, you didn`t come over this morning

the way you usually do.

-I was so busy this morning.

-That`s what I kept telling you, Ma.

-Do you mind if I sit down?

-No, not at all.

-l`ve got an awful headache.

-Well, l`m getting one.

I thought maybe you were angry

at my repeating what that awful....

Nonsense, Mrs. Leeson.

-What on earth was that?

-Somebody`s cleaning up in there.

I was afraid....

-Must they do that?

-Yes--

I was afraid, but I knew that in your heart

you knew...

that I never suspected you.

Of course not, Mrs. Leeson.

The first time Dan talked about you, I said,

``Why, she sounds like a sweet little thing.``

Why, to know Lucy is to love her.

Lucy, I got a surprise for you.

Ma and I talked it all over.

I hope you are going to like Oklahoma,

because l`m going to ask you....

Excuse me.

They forgot to touch second.

Come on, Dan.

Well, I guess a man`s best friend

is his mother.

I certainly learned about women from you.

-Here`s your diploma.

-Come on.

What`s the matter with you, Smitty?

I see what you mean. Patsy, look at this.

Oh, yes, that`s Barbara Vance.

-You know who she is, don`t you?

-Yes, I know who she is.

The madcap heiress. Isn`t that

what the papers usually call her?

Millions of dollars and no sense.

I wonder what she`s doing with Jerry.

Entertaining him,

running around town with him...

and I imagine falling in love with him.

That`s all.

-You can`t tell all that from this picture.

-No.

But I can tell it from what l`ve heard.

If rumor is true, Barbara is quite a girl.

And Jerry`s having a lot of fun.

Come in.

Hello, Jerry.

Hello, Lucy, what`s the nature of this visit?

Well, I just thought l`d....

-Do you know what today is?

-Certainly.

Our divorce becomes final today.

Tomorrow, we`ll both be back in circulation.

I just thought l`d drop up

and wish you a lot of luck.

That`s very nice of you.

Would you like to join me for some wine?

Of course I would.

That was a cute picture of you and Barbara

in the morning paper.

I love the caption: ``Off with the old love.``

I thought ``Out of the frying pan``

might have been better.

Is that so?

Well, I think that Barbara and l

will be very happy together.

I`m sure you`ll be very happy.

Only I don`t think

you`ll be as happy as Daniel and l.

What?

-ls that still on?

-What do you mean, ``ls that still on?``

After that two-men-in-a-bedroom farce...

I sort of imagined that when we left, he left.

Oh, no. I just explained things to him

very simply.

Oh, did you?

Did you say our cars broke down...

and we had to stay at your place

because of the taxi strike?

No, I didn`t tell him that. I told him the truth.

And, strangely enough, he believed me.

Yes, it was very refreshing.

Well, what shall we drink to?

Let`s drink to our future.

Here`s hoping you and Barbara

will be very happy...

which I doubt very much.

Let`s drink to your happiness

with Buffalo Bill...

-Good.

-...which doesn`t even make sense.

-l`ll tell you. We`ll drink to the two of us.

-Good.

As we go down life`s highway...

you going your way...

and I going my way.

-Okay?

-All right.

It`s flat.

I`ll open another bottle.

You`ll have to hurry it up though

because l`m meeting Daniel.

I think champagne is so fitting

to round out our romance.

I remember the first drink

we ever had together.

You, in your very best manner, said:

``lt must be champagne.``

And then you offered a toast,

you remember?

-No, I don`t.

-Well, being a woman, I do.

You said....

This`ll land you a laugh.

You said:

``Lend an ear, I implore you

``This comes from my heart

l`ll always adore you

``Till death do us part``

Remember?

It was pretty swell.

I mean, while it lasted.

All beautiful things must end...

so I guess we may as well call it a day.

If you don`t mind, l`ll call a car.

Would you call a car for me?

Right away, please.

Hello?

Who`s this, may I ask?

It`s what`s-her-name. I only said hello.

Maybe you can pick it up from there.

-Did you have to answer my phone?

-I thought it was about the car. I`m sorry.

What am I going to tell her?

You can think of something.

You always could.

-I haven`t time to think of anything.

-Tell her you`ll call her back.

-How can I tell her l`ll call her back?

-Then tell her to call you back.

Hello? Hello, darling.

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