The Babymoon Page #3

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You're no better than

these girls at the bar.

And you, you're actually...

You know what? You're worse.

You're the worst kind because

you expect all the attention,

yet you do nothing for it.

And you're judging me.

That's awesome.

I... I...

Uh, I can't tell if...

Are you serious?

I can't tell

if you're kidding or if...

No, this is not my kidding face.

Fabrice, I'm really...

I think you got the wrong

impression here.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Okay, well, here's

the impression that I have

and you tell me

if I'm right or wrong.

My impression is

that you crashed my dinner

so that you could tell me,

in some long-winded

self-grandizing way!, how wonderful

you would be on my new TV musical.

Am I close?

I'm not... I'm not gonna lie.

That that would be a dream.

Yeah, as in fairies and elves

and Santa having sex

with the Easter bunny.

It would be a dream.

You, in my musical.

- I mean...

- Although, you know what?

You came here like a man

to talk to me,

tell me your credits. How many

musicals have you performed in?

Go ahead, tick them off.

Um... well, I, I...

Do you have any actual

acting experience?

Something where you

haven't been on camera

just playing this shitty version

of the person that you are?

Tell me about your line

of jewelry.

Um, I do mainly rings,

um, bangles, necklaces.

I... I meant the inspiration

for your jewelry.

Boredom and desperation?

Had I such a woman

with obvious artistic talent,

I would not let her suffer one

excruciating moment of boredom.

Stop it.

I'm very serious

about carrying your line.

Well, that's why I'm here,

to see how interested

you are in my jewelry.

Vast ly.

This is why you'll never be

anything but a joke.

You have no substance.

You can't just want something

to happen and wish upon a star

and expect it to happen.

That's not how it works.

You want a career,

you want success?

- Yes.

- Well, then work for it!

You think I went

into show business

hoping to do a series

of successful second-rate

television shows

with horrible laugh tracks?

No! I would give

my left nut to do

a prestige drama

with Morgan Freeman,

but it's not knocking

on my door.

They don't just give

those shows away, do they?

- No?

- No.

So, what did I do?

I kept working.

I kept working and working

and hopefully one day,

someday it all comes together.

But I...

This is not about you.

And I don't wanna be this guy.

I don't wanna be the a**hole

that has to tell you the truth,

that none of your

idiot friends in show business

- have the balls to tell you.

- Sure.

But, you know, I'm me.

You know what I'm saying?

That's just who I am.

I didn't get to where I am

by sugarcoating bowel movements,

especially with people

I'm in business with.

Now, you wanna

be realistic? Okay.

Now the next time one

of these opportunities comes up,

you think about this,

maybe you wanna do

some high profile porn?

When one of these is and pregnant

reality star girls turns is,

you give me a call.

I know a guy, and we will

make some money together.

Thank you

for your time, Fabrice.

Mm-hmm.

Hey!

Anyway, that was

basically the end of it

and we never saw each other

again and all the better for it

- because I didn't like her anyway.

- That's good, then.

Excuse me, can you

bring two desserts?

All for me, but put them

in front of her.

Thank you.

How did you know my favorite?

Well, look, you don't want

anything to happen to your thighs.

So, I'll do it with mine, yeah?

Uh...

I'm sorry if I gave you

the wrong idea.

Or maybe you gave me

the wrong idea.

This... this meal has nothing

to do with jewelry, does it?

Everything has everything

to do with jewelry.

I suppose I have not been

completely clear with you.

I noticed you were with a man

who some of the hotel staff

says is well known, and a big part

of marketing is celebrity placement.

If I could get some photos

of him with some of our pieces,

I can almost guarantee

that we can carry your line

in this location for a season,

see how it goes.

That is a lovely offer.

And this is a lovely dinner.

Waiter!

At least I don't

follow around real talent

like some sort of TV afterbirth.

- Oh, that's what I should have said.

- Waiter?

I'm just gonna have

to excuse myself.

Hanna, are you okay?

You know what? You too

can jerk each other off.

My arms are tired.

I'll just say I'm not

opposed to the idea.

Are you upsetting my wife?

That was not my intention.

- Mister...

- Homer Simpson.

Funny.

Marge never mentioned

she was married.

- Sir, will you be paying?

- Yes.

Although I'm not sure what for.

Hanna? Honey?

What's going on?

Done. Can't do this

anymore, trace.

You're clearly not ready

to have a child.

Honey, I've been doing

so well lately.

Yeah?

I'm not.

But Hanna, you kept the child. I

Thought you wanted to make this work.

I kept the baby because the

known at the doctor's office

were playing movie "Juno"

on a loop.

You know what?

I'm sitting there,

and it occurs to me

that I have options here.

I can have this baby,

but I don't have to...

I mean, I can do it...

I can do it without...

Without me?

Hanna?

I can't believe that you

would even say that,

or think that.

It's not always

about you, trace.

I haven't felt like

myself in months.

Exactly'. Don't take this

hormone imbalance out on me'.!

Do not patronize me like that.

It's not the hormones.

- Okay.

- It's you.

- Okay.

- I don't like how I feel around you.

- Okay.

- This isn't me.

This isn't me.

This isn't who I am.

I'm not this negative person.

I can't control how you feel.

You know what, you do. And I

don't need that in my life.

I never needed anyone in my

life, and I can do this alone.

Like your mother?

Do you think that she was

happy raising you on her own?

She found her happiness.

Maybe... maybe it took her

three husbands, but so what?

- So what.

- Don't talk about my mother.

Okay? My mother's

freakin' awesome.

Okay.

You want me gone?

Fine.

You don't need to get upset.

Your grandmother's

an amazing woman.

Senor.

Oh, hey, from the hotel.

Yeah, well, not anymore.

After the missus called

they thought

I did something unseemly

- and fire me.

- No.

- It's okay.

- Oh.

I... I'm... I'm sorry.

She's not herself right now.

She's, you know, she's pregnant.

She's got these hormones and...

Oh, she's not herself.

I'm sorry.

Maybe she's showing you

who she really is.

Yeah, maybe.

Let me show you

what you've been missing

cooped up in that hotel room.

Hmm?

I, Uh.

I... I... I...

I probably shouldn't.

As is I, I've never given

a big-time celebrity

our special VIP tour.

I wouldn't call it

big-time celebrity.

I think so.

Are you...

Seora Mcevans,

is everything okay?

Murder is illegal

in this country, right?

Claro Que Si.

- Yes.

- Okay, when the police ask,

you never saw me leave my room.

- I saw nothing.

- Nothing.

Nothing.

Who are we gonna kill?

Where can I buy a bat.

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