The Babymoon Page #4

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- You guys have baseball here, right?

- Uh, no, seora.

Uh, seora.

It is very dangerous

for you out here alone.

Then come with me.

We're gonna catch

that son of a b*tch in the act

and take him for every penny

that one damn song pays him.

Okay.

I will help you.

You're cutting off

the circulation in your hands.

Do you mind?

I'm just...

- Thanks.

- Mm-hmm.

Hi.

Ah, whoo, can't do that.

- I can't...

- Do what?

Ah, ha-ha. I, uh, I...

I... I love my wife.

And, um,

If I don't consider her

in all parts of my life,

I'm..., I'm-, she's gone.

And, um, yeah,

and... and this is, uh...

This is all kinds

of inconsiderate to her, so...

I don't think she sees you

the way that I see you.

When I look at you,

I see an a-list celebrity.

Whoo. Yeah, well,

you know,

sadly the rest of the world

doesn't see me that way.

They all think

I'm a complete failure.

- Failure?

- Yeah.

But, you know, maybe that,

that's what good couples do.

They, uh, they, they're

honest about their failures.

You know, they're...

They don't sugarcoat

their bowel movements,

and, um, I shouldn't even,

not even, uh, be here.

- Yeah.

- You are here.

Yeah, and, I, uh,

I... I should go.

I know that it's... it's a...

It's a thrill, right,

to be around

a big-time celebrity.

But, uh, you got a lot

going for you, kid.

You're... you're... you're...

Well, you are whip-smart,

and you got, you know,

hypnotic eyes

- and...

- Yeah?

Intoxicating skin

and... and you just...

I can't, I can't, uh...

Whoo!

Can't do it.

And, and I'm, I'm really

sorry about all this.

- Me, too.

- What?

You think we should just

keep heading this way?

Yes, Si. Cueva Del

amor is this way.

Uh, many people go there to, um,

they can go there to hug.

Yep. Got it.

Oh, look.

Got you now,

you cheating son of a...

- Okay, okay.

- Ahh.

Is this like

part of the hotel or...

No, no, no, no.

Don't try to take him

to the site now.

Hey, hey, no, no, no Policia.

Listen, I'll give you

dinero, yeah?

Dinero and no Policia.

Don't go to the police.

- Okay.

- Yeah?

- Dinero, huh?

- And no police.

You think I'm afraid of the police?

No, no, no, no.

The police are afraid of me.

Huh.

Oh, okay, yeah, hey.

But we can stop at an ATM,

and I'll give you lots of money.

ATM. We gonna take you to more

than one little ATM visit.

Someone is going to pay

big money for you.

Why?

Hey, I'm a nobody.

You think...

You're, you're a no...

You act like a big

somebody at the hotel.

You talk to everybody like,

like you're a big shot.

Yeah, yeah, I'm American.

Almost, pretty boy.

Never without a clue, huh?

Trace.

What have you gotten yourself

into this time?

We must follow.

They'll keep moving him and

marching him around the jungle.

If we lose them,

we'll never be able to find him.

What do you mean,

never be able to find them?

- Follow me.

- But...

But they have jeeps, vehicles.

They have to go

around with him...

But we can go through it.

See, all we have to do

is stay close enough

- to see where they go.

- Uh, yeah,

I don't know Spanish very

well, but that says,

that... that's red,

- that's not good.

- It's fine.

- Just step very softly.

- Hah, yeah.

I haven't been able to

do that for two months.

There has to be

another way down.

So just take me to a car

and we'll...

We'll go to the police.

Look, I'll see if we can

get any signal here.

This way or we'll lose them.

Hold on.

Maybe I'm...

Oh, sh...

Dammit.

That's okay, I wasn't

getting any signal anyway.

Come on.

You can do it.

Yeah, I can't do it.

I'm... I can't do it.

I'm really sorry.

Come on. I can see

their headlights disappear.

Okay, okay, I can do this.

Can't you see?

Go faster.

Come on!

Okay, it's all you, Hanna.

It's all you.

Dammit.

Dammit, I can't do this.

This is, no, no Pellegrino.

No Pellegrino.

- Oh!

- You just need a hand.

Let's get some help.

What is this place?

Used to be a sugar mill.

It's safer if we stay here

until sunrise.

Oh. What is that?

Oh, it's okay.

It's just

a three-toed tree sloth.

It's not dangerous.

Hi.

Oh, he's just so cute.

He likes you.

He is just a drivers license

away from replacing my husband.

Please, please, please, please.

Oh.

Who would've thought

sitting on a pile of rocks

could be this comfortable?

This is much better.

Very dangerous

in the open jungle.

Drunk hombres, big cats,

little mean cats.

Okay, so where

do we go from here?

We have to find the sheriff.

Why don't we just go to the police

station or office or something?

Well, it doesn't really

work like that.

Um, he's either

one of two places:

At the bar or at home sleeping.

Well, that's inspiring.

Oh, it's sort of his way

of protesting the crap laws

they make him enforce.

Uh, he's a very smart guy.

Okay, so where is this bar?

We should get some people

to take us.

All right, let's

not waste any time.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wrong people.

It's okay, just go.

I'm giving her a tour.

- Mmm.

- All right? Let us through...

And I'll give you

two cases of beer.

That's the price for locals.

But for her...

For the gringa...

It's more for her.

Much more.

Don't make me tell

your boss, okay?

We all know what happens

when something happens

to a gringo, hmm?

Police, army, journalists.

Journalists?

Diablo.

Journalists.

You know what I think?

I think you're trying

to steal from her

and keep it to yourself.

Ooh, you sneaky sh*t.

You don't think

I see through you?

Hey. Look, we're just trying

to get back to the hotel.

Please.

Good day, seorita.

Trust me.

Dale, Dale, Dale!

You know what

you're doing on this?

I think so.

Oh my...

Oh!

H ey, look out.

- What are they doing?

- Okay.

Look, I'm pregnant here,

come on!

Oh, my god!

Oh. Hey!

Hey!

Seriously.

Don't touch me.

Oh.

What the hell are they doing?

God.

- We have these...

- No, no, no, no.

Okay. Pretty boy.

I don't have pretty boy

feelings right now.

Ah!

- What?

- Told ya.

Totally chickened out.

Oh, no.

I go the other way.

Hold on tight,

I'm gonna give you some room.

Ha!

You want to come and die?

Come on!

- Where are we?

- You're safe here.

That is the toughest man

I've seen in my whole life.

He's the sheriff.

And he's my dad.

Wait, what?

Okay, h ey, guys?

I'd be happy to go along with

an on-camera appearance, yeah?

I mean, just... if you can

guarantee my wife's safety.

And hey, you know,

if you guys wanna go for fierce,

right? You should

probably move that... light

and you just move it

over there and you...

You get all... couple

shadows coming through.

"Ah!

Gracias.

Ow! Watch it!

- Por favor.

- She's fine.

Can you see my eyes?

- Uh-huh.

- People tell me I have good eyes.

- God, help us.

- Huh?

- This is our leader.

- What did you say?

- Nada.

- The eyes... Okay?

It's not easy to strike fear

into the hardened western world.

For breakfast they watch

a Tsunami footage.

War coverage.

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