The Bet Page #5

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free video, free video,

free video, free video...

Wiggins, Wiggins!

Who's that for?

Me.

Free video, free video...

You work here.

Why would you...

Dude wait, one of your

crushes are coming.

Who?

D man!

What's up, dog?

High.

Low.

Let me see if

you're my bro.

So new release day.

Talk to me.

Any new jizz flicks drop?

Everything new is

in the back, Scott.

Alright, sweet.

I'll be back in a sec

because it only takes me

a minute to sin it.

You remember now, come on.

He seems like a power top.

You into that?

Wiggins.

Dude, I am not hooking

up with a dude, dude.

Okay, well first of all,

if you did, I'm a good

enough friend that I

wouldn't tell anybody.

Second of all, all you

have to do is give him a

little bit of tongue

and just...

I'm not gonna do it, man!

I don't care.

Jackson's gonna have

to figure this out.

I'm not gonna do it.

I'll lose the whole bet.

I don't care.

Hey, what bet you

boys talking about?

Nothing, nothing.

Alright, f*** it

well, I got my MMA.

I got my porno.

I'm ready to jack and jack

off right there, you know.

Hit me.

That's pretty literal.

Okay, we got Ben Her.

Citizen Came.

Woodfellas.

Deep Impact.

No, actually this

one's not a porno.

Did you know that?

I'm a pervert,

not an idiot.

Scott, man.

I can't rent you these.

You've had Stop or My Mom Will

Squirt out for two years.

Man, Denton your my

brother and you know the

last decade's been a bit

of a buttfuck for me.

You know, my MMA career

was going great then I got

busted for being on the

juice and cycled off to

lose the titties and then

I started getting my ass

kicked real bad.

Had to tap out

on the dream.

Listen, okay.

You can rent these, but

you gotta bring them back

before the store

closes, okay man?

You have my word as a

retired man of the cage.

I'll bring these

back safely.

Knock on my wood.

He's full of those, isn't he?

Hey, Denise.

-Hi.

-Hey.

You know what, these

packages keep getting sent

over the video store.

I'm sorry. It's just those guys

messing with you I'm sure.

Sure is, motherf***er.

Boom, b*tch!

Dikembe says

not in my house.

Hey, Serge, you wanna

go old school on this

little baby p*ssy?

-Yeah.

-Hey, guys!

Come on!

No, no, no, no, no!

Does it feel good?

Higher!

Higher!

Hey, hey!

No wonder you've

only at four girls.

You're wearing

boxer shorts.

B*tches love briefs now.

Come on, man.

We're going to H&M.

We'll buy you some.

Clean this sh*t up, Denise.

Yeah, clean that

sh*t up, Denise.

Denton, I'm so sorry!

Let me help you.

Thanks.

You know, Denton, we

had homeroom together.

That's right.

-In eleventh grade.

-In eleventh grade.

Yeah.

So I'm gonna take my

fifteen minute break now.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, and that's just enough

time for me to suck you off.

What now?

Bring it up.

Let's dig deep!

Dig in!

Dig in, let's get it!

Let's get it, you

little b*tches.

Come on, grandpa.

Pick it up.

Pick it up, Wilfred.

I am number one,

you're right.

Thank you.

Why don't you hop on

a bike, Uncle Jemima?

-Here we go.

-Jesus Christ, man.

Calm down.

What are you rushing the

bloods and the crips, dude?

I'm wearing both colors

to signify unity.

That's kinda cool.

Come on, grandpa.

You can do it.

So funny bit of news.

I just got surprise

fellatio from the

receptionist that

works at Lucas...

Denise Davids?

- Yes!

- Sh*t.

You are so screwed.

What?

World class

psycho stalker.

You know in school when

those girls made those

origami things to predict

who their soulmate was?

-Yeah?

-She rigged hers.

Rigged the f***ing

thing, dude.

Gross.

Yeah, she had one of those

things where like...

You know when one person loves

another person like a lot,

but the other person loves

the other person more.

She got a restraining

order against her.

Okay, okay.

She's nuts for real.

She had her dog baptized.

Hello?

It's her.

Gotcha.

You've reached the

voicemail of Denton.

Leave a message.

Beep.

Not convincing.

I didn't do a

good job at all.

No.

No one's home.

God.

What is that smell?

Denton, Denton, Denton.

You've been busy, girl.

Hey, Serge, Go

wet that bed.

Alright.

Think the tall

f***'s got it in him?

-Nah.

-I'm gonna piss on top.

What the f***'s

going on here?

Who the f*** are you?

What are you doing here?

Tell him what

we're doing here.

We broke in.

Obvious yes, you're

f***ing break in.

-Can I talk to you?

-I got this, B.

Can you come here

a little bit?

Are you f***ing sure?

He's got a knife.

Yeah, I see that.

It's fine, it's

fine, it's fine!

Well why are you here?

I need information

about this bet.

I wanna ruin their

lives, alright?

I hate Denton.

-I hate him, too.

-Good, good!

Maybe there's a way we

both get what we want.

Two blowj*bs.

He's touching my dick.

Here's the deal.

I need information

about this bet.

Every time you find something

out, you give me a call.

I give you cash.

I present to you

Sarah Dawn Samuels.

What is

she doing here?

Well auditioning for

reality TV all day,

only time she has to

work out is at night.

During my shift.

I'm her personal

trainer so to speak.

We've spent some

time together.

Through all that bonding,

I've learned her deepest

desires and

darkest secrets.

Her scent is that of a rose

garden after a midsummer's rain.

She's a siren

in the water.

She calls to me and only

I hold the key to her

soul's relaxation.

It pains me to betray my

lady, but it's for the

good of the bet.

I hold in my hand her

one Achilles' heel.

Or should I say,

Achilles' crotch.

That's a serious

pre-op moose knuckle.

It looks like six

dollar burger.

If it ever gets

out, she's ruined.

Really, Jackson?

We're resorting

to blackmail now.

Yeah, super. Now we're

sexual predators.

Sexual predators?

What are we just walking

the streets looking for

houses for teddy bears in

the window to wander into?

Not in my wildest dreams.

Sorry, baby.

Jackson, just give me...

-Stop, stop it!

-Hi, Sarah.

Stop it!

Jackson!

Hi, Denton.

Hey, dad. What are you

doing up so early?

No time for sleep.

Your stepmother

is getting close.

Yeah, she's...

She's looking sharp.

You know, actually

grab a seat.

I've been meaning

to talk to you.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm fine.

So you and second grade...

Amanda Morrison.

Yeah, Amanda.

You guys are spending a lot

of time together this summer.

Yeah, she's

she's really great.

You think she'd be okay

with this whole bet thing

you got going on?

What the hell do I know?

A guy making a woman

out of plastic, right?

Give me the glue,

will you?

Planet of the Apes.

No. No, no, no.

Planet of the Apes

with Marky Mark?

God, God, no!

Sloth from the Goonies!

No, no!

I'm Harry.

I'm Harry from Harry

and the Hendersons.

I've never seen it.

You're kidding me.

You've never seen Harry

and the Hendersons?

No.

God, that was on my

favorite VHS tape.

What are you

talking about?

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