The Bet Page #7

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Amanda Morrison is here.

-Who?

-Second grade!

Denton, are you in there?

No, no!

What are we gonna do?

What are we gonna do?

One second.

I gotta put my

pants back on.

Me too, me too.

Denton, are you home?

What the hell is this?

F*** me, Scott.

No, I'm Denton.

No, no, Scott's my fianc.

Did you just finish?

No, I don't...

Wait, you have a fianc?

Of course you

have a fianc.

Kendra, I'm home.

Give me a beer.

Make sure it's cold as sh*t from

that new fridge, you know?

Hey, Denton!

What ya doing here, boy?

It's great to see you.

Wait a minute, you're not

here for them movies, is ya?

Because you know, I really

do need a little more time

on those, you

know, but...

Wait a minute, why

is she in her undies?

And why does grandpa

have a chubbie?

Bing!

Grandpa!

Did my woman suck

this man's cock?

No.

Sucked it real good.

-You!

-You seen it?

Licked his

pooper hole, too.

His butthole.

No, Scott.

My butthole is

unlicked today.

You little adulterer,

coming into my beautiful home,

making my angel eat

at your gas station.

I got some bad, bad

news for you, boy.

Your timing's all sorts of

sh*t because I'm back on

the juice, motherf***er.

I'm sorry, doc.

He's gonna f*** you up.

-Yeah, that's right.

-Scott, Scott!

Just calm down

for just a second.

Yeah, yeah.

What you got,

what you got?

F*** that sh*t, boy.

Come on, bring it on.

Come on, dog.

Cool your motherfucking

jets, Scott.

What are you gonna do?

Shoot me with a water gun?

Do not make me

pull this trigger.

Go time!

Wiggins! Dad!

You're not gonna

believe this.

I just hooked up with

Kendra and I shot a load

into Scott's mouth.

What?

Well not technically

I didn't shoot...

No, no, no,

technically I did.

It doesn't matter!

The point is...

I'm about to win

this f***ing...

Bet?

I'm part of a bet?

Look, look, look...

- I can explain.

- You can explain?

I don't think that

needs explanation.

This is disgusting.

Are you kidding right now?

Don't touch me!

I am so freaked

out right now.

I never want to

see you again.

Don't say that.

Amanda, please...

Don't.

Who are you?

Yeah, man...

Who are you?

Heard the big news.

You f***ed it all up.

I gotta admit, for a

second there you had me

genuinely concerned.

Nine girls, one guy.

Not bad.

I tip my dick to you, sir.

You actually came here

just to be a dick to me?

Listen to me, you

quivering p*ssy.

This bet was your shot.

I gave it to you on a

silver f***ing platter.

But you, as you do, kept

up the family tradition.

Failure.

So I think my family can't

take anything else from

your family.

My dad takes your

dad's company.

I take this shithole you

call a video store, and

then tomorrow when you

lose that bet, I'm gonna

make you and

daddy homeless.

You know why?

Cause you and all your

little friends, you're all

a bunch of

f***ing weirdos.

I win, you lose.

Suck my dick.

See you at the

game tomorrow.

You can sick my dick.

...watching anime porn

and I catch the dude...

What the f*** are

you doing, man?

What's it look like

I'm doing, Jackson?

Okay, dude, chill. Clearly you

just need to talk about...

Talk about what, Ed?

How you two

ruined my life?

Dude, you were this close

to winning the bet.

Don't you dare

back out now.

I don't f***ing

care about the bet.

I don't care

about the bet.

I've lost the only

person I wanna be with.

-Scott Quaker.

-God...

It's not, I didn't...

God damnit!

What? She'll understand, right?

We'll just go by her

house, explain the

situation she'll get it.

She'll understand what, Ed?

That she was right?

She's part of some stupid bet

that my friends got me into.

I cannot believe I let you

guys convince me to do this.

F*** you.

F*** me?

Dude, you sit here all day

bitching and moaning about

your life and things

that happen to you.

Be it girls, or your job.

Man, f***, even us!

And when sh*t doesn't go

your way, you go on the

f***ing rag and just b*tch about

how sh*t Denton's life is.

Back me up on

this, Wiggins.

I still wet the bed.

I can't really talk.

God damn shame.

Are you kidding me?

How sh*t my life is?

Jackson, when's the last time

you hooked up with a chick?

What was it years?

And by the way,

your shakes suck.

And you, Ed?

You are so full of sh*t.

You're this love guru,

but except the only girl

you've ever been

with you married.

You two have been living

vicariously through me,

but it's not you who

has the sh*t life.

It's me!

Get out.

Just get out of here.

All of you.

And take this

trash with you.

Come on, Wiggins.

Wiggins, get out here.

-Get the f*** out!

-Wiggins!

Wiggins, get the

f*** out of here!

You've upset Wiggins.

Wiggins, go.

He's a f***ing mess.

I'll leave you one.

I'll leave you one.

Go!

Wiggins is my friend now.

He's...

Get out, get out!

D-dad.

Not you, you

don't have to go.

I refuse to let the lovely

Legos lose her virginity

in this den of sadness.

You need to be alone

right now anyway, son.

You got a lot

to think about.

Your dad's coming.

Yeah.

How'd it go

with lady Lego?

It was horrible.

We all went to the

field last night.

He got butt naked and made

us all gather around her

as he mounted her right

over there on home plate.

On first thrust, she

exploded into a million pieces.

He just sat there defeated as

his bruised old boner went limp.

Saddest sh*t

I've ever seen.

Well, well, well...

Look at these

video fun fucks.

You guys excited?

You like the smell of the

field, the cut grass,

the stands full of quivering

lady pussies waiting

for the B dog to

satisfy them??

God, I wanted to see you

guys lose, but to see you

lose in front of a packed house,

life is f***ing sweet.

Like brown sugar

on white p*ssy.

Hey look, y'all, President

and CEO of Goldman Nutsucks.

Sorry, guys, I don't

speak poor person.

Mary Kate.

Ashley.

You ladies eighteen yet?

Jackson, I know you're

gonna miss this most so

really try and

enjoy it, okay?

Good luck out

there, ladies.

He almost hit that truck.

Gentlemen.

It's been an honor serving

with you on that battlefield.

You fought like warrior

poets in the days of old,

but I ask you one last

time to fight with me.

Can you do that?

Fight with me!

Spit on me.

I got some in my mouth.

Thanks for coming out, folks,

to the last game of the season.

It's gonna be a doozey.

Now batting, Jackson Price.

What's in this?

Jackson's shake

masterpiece.

The final cuntdown.

That was a good pitch.

There's something I need

to talk to you about.

Yeah?

What is that?

Balls on chin.

Dude, I'm not in the mood

for jokes right now, man.

Remember the tri-county

little league championships?

Yeah, yeah.

Who could forget?

You got hit in the face

twice in one game.

Taking those two balls

to the chin was the best

thing I ever did.

Why, what do you mean?

Everyone knew I wasn't

gonna get on base and if I

struck out, which I

was going to, the game

would've been over, right?

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