The Big Gay Musical Page #5

? Looking at men makes us sick! ?

? We don't wanna suck on dick! ?

? We don't wanna suck on dick! ?

? Sound off! ?

? One, two. ?

? Sound off! ?

? Three, four. ?

? Bring it on home. ?

? One, two, three, four. ?

? One, two. Three, four. ?

Ok boys, it's time to start

talking about Jesus!

Sorry, I'm late.

Oh, that's OK Sweetie...

Son!

We're just getting started here.

Steve, why don't you

get him a T-shirt?

Thanks.

Thanks.

First thing I wanna do is

learn our camp song.

And if you ever forget

what it's called,

all you have to do is look down

on your camp T-shirt.

Now, this is how it goes.

? I'm gonna go straight...

to Heaven. ?

? I'm gonna go be Jesus' friend. ?

? I'm gonna go straight...

to Heaven. ?

? I'm never gonna be gay,

be gay again. ?

OK, now it's time for

all of you to try.

? I'm gonna go straight...

to Heaven. ?

? I'm gonna go be Jesus' friend. ?

? I'm gonna go straight...

to Heaven. ?

? I'm never gonna be gay,

be gay again. ?

? Here at 'FAGS'camp,

we've come to learn ?

? how to change our ways. ?

? We're gonna stop being sissy men. ?

? So when we pray

to Jesus, we can say ?

? I'm gonna go straight.

Straight! ?

? To Heaven.

Yeah! ?

? I'm gonna go be Jesus' friend. ?

? Hey Jesus! ?

? I'm gonna go straight...

to Heaven. ?

? I'm never gonna be gay,

be gay again. ?

? Here at 'FAGS'camp,

we're on our knees. ?

? But it's just to pray! ?

? We're gonna learn to

be rugged and butch. ?

? So when we pray

to Jesus, we can say ?

? I'm gonna go straight...

to Heaven. ?

? I'm gonna go be Jesus' friend. ?

? I'm gonna go straight...

to Heaven. ?

? We're never gonna be gay. ?

? I'm gonna go straight...

to Heaven. ?

? I'm gonna go be Jesus' friend. ?

? I'm gonna go straight...

to Heaven. ?

? I'm never gonna be gay. ?

? Be gay again. ?

Excuse me! I saw the show.

I just wanted to say hi.

You saw the show?

Yeah.

There's no way you could have seen it

and made it back here this fast.

Oh, well, I saw the show last night,

but by the time I made it to the

stage door you'd already left,

so I came to meet you tonight.

Glad you liked the show.

You look familiar.

Oh, I go to 'Mostly Sondheim'

once in a while.

Oh, cool!

Well, make sure you say hi next

time you're at Sondheim.

Do you... think maybe we could grab a

drink or go for coffee or something?

I don't know.

I have to run but, but I'm sure I'll

run into you again soon, OK?

Hey!

So, how was your workout?

Fine, yours?

It was good.

So I was thinking,

maybe we could...

You know what would be really hot?

What?

Not you.

Doyou want to take a walk?

OK.

But don't try anything.

I won't touch you I promise.

It's so beautiful here.

I know.

Isn't it wonderful how God has

brought us here to help us?

Help us?

Help us what?

He should be helping us break out.

Are you OK?

Is there a problem?

Am I doing something wrong?

Huh?

You haven't even tried to touch me.

You just told me you

didn't want me to.

I thought you'd at least try.

I didn't take you here to molest you.

I just wanted to talk to you.

You're not even attracted

to me, are you?

I think you're absolutely adorable.

Then kiss me.

I want to know what its like.

You've never been kissed before?

No.

Just kiss me, please.

I can't!

Forget about the promise.

It's not about the promise.

It's about this f***ed up place.

We should get back.

Why? Are we just hanging

out so we can make out?

No.

What else could we do?

Well, we could talk about

this sick place.

We can talk about who we really

are. We can talk about...

Sick?

This place is here to help us become

who God wants us to be.

Yeah. You go on and

find out who that is.

I'm already what God wants me to be.

And where are you going

tonight mister?

My first online date.

Oh look our little boy's getting

all dressed up for a trick.

It's like he's growing up

right before our eyes.

Shut up!

I'd say good luck, but you know

these things are kind of a given.

He's real hot too.

Yeah, if he sent you a real picture.

What do you mean?

Don't listen to the bitter,

Dear. Just go have fun,

and give it to him once

or twice for me.

Goodnight boys.

Oh, thanks for the help

with the profile.

That's what slutty friends are for.

Where are my pants?

Right here.

Thank you

Oh, hey!

I guess we bumped into

each other after all.

Hey!

Nice to see you again.

Yeah, I gotta go to work.

Hopefully we bump into

each other again.

Yeah sure.

Paul?

You look just like your picture.

I need a drink.

Cranberry vodka.

Alright.

You 're really cute.

Thanks!

I see you in here a lot.

I like the ambiance.

I bet you do.

I work down the block in the

show "Adam and Steve -

Just The Way God Made'Em."

I hear it's great.

I'd love to see it.

I can get you comps. Give me your

number I'll call you tomorrow and

hook it up.

Yeah, that'd be great.

Let me know when you wanna...

cum.

Yeah.

What are you doing after work?

Huh?

The change is your tip.

Thank you.

I got a tip with your

name all over it.

Thanks.

I'm already taken.

Come on!

Come home with me, I'll f*** you like

you've never been f***ed before.

Whoa Sparky, now you're getting

a little inappropriate.

Just give me another drink.

How about I give you a little water?.

Why don't you just give

me a little vodka?

Why don't you go home and sober up?

Why don't you just give me

another f***ing drink?

You know I know the owner.

Yeah, everyone knows the owner.

Just give me another f***ing drink!

Are you f***ing serious?

Go sober up.

Mom, Dad - I need to

tell you something.

So, how does this usually start?

How do you want it to start?

This is all about you.

Well...

Would you like me to undress for you?

Sure.

So, tell me about yourself.

Sure.

What would you like to know?

Where are you from?

Why do you do this?

Well, I'm from Washington.

Seattle, actually.

I go to NYU.

And this is how I pay for it.

Nothing crazy or anything.

Does your family know you do this?

No. They do know I'm gay though.

Are you seeing anyone?

Yes.

Does he know?

How would you like a massage?

Sure.

Isn't this whole thing

strange for you?

It was... at first.

And you probably end up

sleeping with fat old men.

Sometimes I get to sleep with

hot young guys like you.

Do you sleep with hot

young guys a lot?

A lot of young guys just don't wanna

deal with dating or meeting anyone.

And with me there is

no drama, you know?

No bitching, no nagging.

And what you see is what you get.

I don't care if you want

me to top or...

if you want to f***

the sh*t out of me.

Do you kiss all your clients?

Only the ones I want to.

Can I ask you a question?

You sure are full of questions.

I know this is strange but...

can I hold you?

I meant... cuddle, hold you.

Sure.

? You don't have to be a millionaire ?

? with a mansion full of art. ?

? I just want someone to

sing me a love song. ?

? Ifyou'd sing me a love song,?

? a simple, tender love song, ?

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