The Boatniks Page #6

Come on.

You come. Come, come, come.

- You come. He Max.

- l'm Charlie.

Yeah, l'll tell her.

Charlie, Max, Harry.

l beg your pardon.

Could you...?

Mr. Garland,

what are you doing here?

Oh! l was going into the coffee shop.

Great little place to eat.

Oh, yeah.

l was just registering.

Of course, sir.

Mrs. Taylor and l are registering.

We're having

our apartment painted.

We're just gonna

be here un-until...

Why am l explaining

all this to you?

- We'll be checking in about 6:00.

- Your room will be ready, room 52.

Yeah, thank you.

Thank you.

- Uh...

- Coffee shop's through that door.

Thank you. Say, you do have

a Commodore Simmons registered here?

Room 706.

l was wondering

if it's the Commodore Simmons

that l knew in Charleston.

No, this gentleman

came from Kansas.

- Leavenworth, l believe.

- Oh, yes, yes.

He told me that's his...

winter home.

- When did he arrive?

- Last Tuesday.

lt checks out.

Come. We, we live here.

Live here.

Well, if it isn't Mr. Coast Guard.

You're late if you want

to sink our car. We parked.

Nice to see you again, sir.

This is my cousin Shirley,

from Pittsburgh.

Come. We go casa.

Chiyoko, you listen.

You listen.

[speaks broken Japanese]

- What did you say?

- l asked her to dive for picnic basket.

Ask her if she'd like

to have dinner with me.

You li...

Get your own dictionary.

- [speaks Japanese]

- Yeah, you no understand Harry.

Oh, okay, okay.

You watching.

Watchy me.

l show you, huh?

l come.

Ooh. What l got?

l got a basket.

Picnic basket.

See? What is basket?

ls inside stuff. [laughs]

What? Ooh, looky.

Mmm. Mmm.

Ah.

- Mmm.

- She understands.

- Ah-so.

- Ah-so.

Now. Now, you go.

Well, what's happening?

The Japanese girl

is taking off her robe.

Boy, is she taking off her robe.

l don't understand why they

sent for a Japanese girl.

You would if you saw her

without her robe.

You sail, l'll spy.

Sayonara.

She just dived off the boat.

Maybe l should dive in

and follow her.

How would you like

a broken snorkel?

Over there. Aqu.

- There she is!

- [Max] What's she got?

- She's got something.

- What?

She's pulling it toward the boat.

- lt's not the picnic basket.

- She's bringing it a piece at a time.

[speaks Japanese]

- Ew.

- [screams]

Aw, it's an octopus.

- Octopus?

- Uh-huh.

Chiyoko...

[ltalian accent] Picnic basket.

Picnic basket.

She's got me talking ltalian.

[speaks Japanese]

- Ah, [Japanese]

- Yeah.

- Ah-so.

- l hope so.

She just dove back down again.

- She's been down there a long time.

- She was attacked by a shark.

With that body, she could be attacked

by a scuba diver, submarine captain,

- off-shore oil driller...

- There she is.

- She did it!

- She's got the basket.

- Over here.

- Don't make me wait.

- Keep coming, baby.

- [Harry] Hold onto the basket.

They sent all the way to Japan to get

a diver to bring up a picnic basket?

Picnic basket?

Let me see.

Picnic basket.

l still say this is ridiculous.

- l need more proof.

- More proof?

Look, they checked in

the day of the robbery,

posed as phony sailors and sent for

a diver to get a picnic basket.

- Circumstantial evidence.

- l'm glad you joined the Coast Guard,

- and not the FBl.

- l need to see what's in the basket.

Just pull the car over there,

into the shadows.

- A-ha.

- A-ha, what?

- l found the Japanese word for ''bonus.''

- Bonus?

- l think we ought to give her one.

- She deserves it.

- How much, Harry?

- lf we give her 1 00 bucks,

she'll be bowing

to Buddha for a year.

Chiyoko!

[speaks Japanese] Bonus.

[speaks Japanese]

A hundred dollars.

- You're a little short, Harry.

- l'm a little short...

- We've been had.

- When did you learn to speak English?

l watched a lot

of television last night.

The old inscrutable east bit, huh?

Okay, how much?

- Ooh, 25 thou should do it.

- Twenty-five thousand?

- Are you out of your mind?

- Hold it, Max.

We're in no position to argue.

Okay, Madame Butterfly, you win.

As soon as we negotiate with the fence,

you'll get your money.

Old Japanese saying,

''Girl who not take front money

often wind up with egg fu yung

on her face.''

Hey!

This should take care of things nicely.

Hmm. Great kosher pickle.

Call me for the next picnic.

Sayonara, baby.

lf you say one word,

just one word...

Oh, does baby love that fire

Lovely bauble long admired

This was Nippon I'll retire

[whispering] Fred.

Fred.

Fred.

- Yes, Thelma?

- There's a Peeping Tom.

- Peeping in your window?

- Come on. Come on.

Operator, may l talk

to the police?

Never in my wildest dreams

could l believe that one of my own men

would become a Peeping Tom.

Especially one named Tom.

Sir, there is

a very reasonable explanation.

Of course there is, and l'm sure

the base psychiatrist will find it.

You can't really believe

l was trying to peek at your wife.

No, not that she

isn't very attractive.

l was trying to peek

in Commodore Simmons' room, not hers.

Oh, you are sicker than l thought.

l was trying to look

into his picnic basket.

- His picnic basket?

- That's where the stolen jewels are.

Commodore Simmons is a jewel thief?

l would stake

my entire reputation on it.

Let me put it another way.

- l'm nervous. We gotta get outta here.

- Check-out time is 1 :00.

Hello, operator. l'd like to talk

to information in Tijuana.

- Tia...

- That's in Mexico.

- Don't he make local calls?

- Who are you calling?

Hello, lnformation.

Buenos das.

Who are you calling?

Would you be kind enough

to look under ''Charter Airlines''?

[telephone ringing]

[man singing in Spanish]

[ringing continues]

- Hello.

- Hello, Trans-Mexican Airlines?

No, but l call him to the phone.

Pepe?

- Pepe!

- Eh?

- Telfono.

- Oh.

- Gracias, Marta.

- Why Trans-Mexican Airlines?

- Why? l got a right to know.

- Relax, l got a new plan.

- Hello.

- Trans-Mexican Airlines.

Pepe Galindo,

el presidente, speaking.

Yes, we are in

the charter business.

Oh, but l'm sorry.

You call at a very bad time.

Well, because we got two planes

on lease to Honduras Air Force.

The other two planes are

on lease to El Salvador.

- That's all? Nothing else?

- Seor, l'm sorry.

There's nothing left.

Except a sea plane.

- A sea plane!

- Sea plane?

- That lands on water?

- That's perfect.

Balboa. That's in California.

That's right.

Could you be up here, say, by 2:00?

Great. Now, land it three miles

off-shore, due west.

Hold on. You'd better make that

three miles and ten yards, to be safe.

Mm-hmm. Si, commodore.

At 2:
00, eh? Okay.

Adis.

Adis.

Hey!

Nios, everybody out.

- We got a job!

- [excited chattering]

[Hawaiian music]

Hi, there, sport fans.

Look at this.

We're actually moving out.

So l can see.

But don't you think somebody

should be at the wheel?

l knew l forgot something.

See you in four days

and five nights.

[Garland] Don't think l don't

appreciate this, sir.

Oh, l'm not that busy.

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