The Boy in the Dress Page #3

Relax! I've got it all

under control.

So, what's next?

Double French.

What? I'm getting out of here.

Bonjour!

Bonjour, Madame.

- Oiselle.

- Oiselle Windsor.

Asseyez-vous.

Et vous, qui etes-vous?

Who are you?

This is Denise, she's my

German pen pal, Ms.

I thought you said she was

from France.

Good point. Thank you.

French pen pal.

Ah, soyez la bienvenue!

Quel grand plaisir

de vous accueillir parmi nous

dans notre humble classe!

C'est tout simplement merveilleux!

J'ai tellement de questions

a vous poser.

De qu'elle region de France

venez-vous?

Comment sont les ecoles

dans votre region?

Quel est votre passe temps favori?

Que font vos parents?

Faites nous part de vos premieres

passion de I'Angleterre?

May I speak in English

for one moment?

Yes, of course.

How can I put this,

how you say, politely?

Poliment! Poliment!

- Madame Windsor.

- Oiselle.

I am very sorry,

but I am not understanding

anything you are saying...

...because of your very poor

French accent.

Do you need a tissue?

I'll be fine. I've just got

something in my eye.

I'll step outside for a minute.

My eye. L'oreille!

What was all that about?

Ms Windsor's one of the nice ones

and you totally humiliated her.

You could have told me you

had double French today.

I forgot. Sorry.

There's nothing I can do now.

Look out!

I don't know where he is.

He left the house this

morning before me.

Bunking off, I presume.

That's not like Dennis.

I'm worried about him.

I shall have to call your father.

Just let me have a quick

look round first?

What do you think you're doing?

Coming over here,

stealing our boyfriends?

I am not liking le Gareth

in that way.

You lying French tart!

Girls fight over me all the time.

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Oh, my days.

Dennis?

Silence!

You.

The boy in the dress. Sir,

it's not his fault, I...

I said, silence.

Would you care

to explain yourself, boy?

Why did you come to school

today dressed in a...

...dress?

Don't know, sir.

"Don't know, sir."

Dennis Simms, you are a disgrace.

But, then, what can we expect

of a boy from a...

...broken home?

You are expelled!

But, sir... There are no buts, boy!

But, Mr Hawthorn, you didn't

expel Karl Bates

and he ate the school goldfish.

You are on a final warning,

Lisa James.

Please, sir, I don't want

to let my friends down.

It's the cup final on Saturday.

But, Dennis Simms, you will

not play on Saturday

or any other day.

You are no longer a pupil

at this school.

Leave the premises at once.

Expelled?

For wearing a dress?

And a wig.

Oh, and some earrings.

I thought I brought you up

to be men

and this is how you pay me back?

I've failed.

I'll never wear a dress,

so you've only half failed.

Why?

I just want to know why.

I guess...

...it made me happy.

Go to your room and

do your homework.

I've been expelled.

I haven't got any homework.

Then just go to your room.

You can check my cupboard,

if you like.

Just jeans and hoodies and...

He can't talk to you now, Darvesh.

Please, can you tell Dennis

he's still my friend?

Your son always stuck up for me

and it's very important he knows

that, whatever's happened,

he'll always be my friend.

Right, you're getting home-schooled

from now on.

But it's Saturday. I don't care.

I've circled Deal Or No Deal.

That's your maths.

Pointless, general knowledge.

Antiques Roadshow, history,

and I want them all watched

by the time I get

back from the depot, thank you.

Oh, no.

Peter!

Can we please talk about Dennis?

You've got between here

and the lorry.

Dennis is...

He's such a special boy.

I do hope you're not being

too hard on him.

What if it was your son

who went to school in a dress?

Oh, I don't think Darvesh would go

to school in a dress.

He'd probably wear a salwar kameez.

Yeah, all right, a salwar kameez!

Well, you know, I'd...

Well, I'd...

See! You wouldn't like it either.

Peter, please, listen!

No, you listen to me for once!

All right, these are my boys

and I'll bring them up my way.

And I don't need your stupid

scatter cushions

and I certainly don't need

your advice.

But you love your son

whatever he does.

Don't you?

The Under-16s School Cup

Final will kick off in 15 minutes.

15 minutes to kick off.

If they're under 16 then

I'm Angelina blooming Jolie.

Mr Hawthorn, I need to talk to you

about Dennis.

Lisa James, I am not interested

in your pleading.

But, sir... One more word

and I will expel you too.

So, here we are. Cup Final day.

Yes!

All right. I want you all to

remember what got you here.

Luck

and a lad in a frock

who got kicked out.

Now, the other lot, they've won

the Cup the last three years

and I'm going to be honest

they play dirty.

They'll hack you down,

they'll elbow you in the face.

I'm just glad it's you

and not me out there.

But remember one thing

win or lose, you made it

to a Cup Final,

which looks great on my CV.

Now get out there.

'With their main weapons knocked

out of commission,

'the platoon now faced a far

superior enemy force.

'The odds seemed insurmountable.'

Hiya, gang!

Got some bad news for you.

The referee has sprained his ankle.

Now, the stand-in referee's

cat's died

and he's very upset. Sad face.

But the good news is you've got me!

Yay! Happy face!

Now, I don't know if you know me.

I actually teach drama.

To be honest with you, I don't

know a huge amount about football,

but I've seen a couple of games

on TV and how hard can it be?

Right. Heads or tails?

Heads.

Oh, heads it is!

Elm Forest to serve!

Oh, exciting!

Come on!

We've got no chance without Dennis.

Shut up. We don't need him.

'With no protection offered by

the inexperienced commander,

'the platoon was quickly crushed by

the superior firepower

'of a German panzer division.'

Red card!

Now, that wasn't nice, was it?

Say sorry.

Sorry.

Good boy. Now, deep breath.

Let out the anger.

Oh.

It's a massacre. You're the captain,

do something.

You're right.

You boys are bringing shame

on us all.

We need Dennis.

He's our best player.

I will not have that cross-dressing

miscreant representing my school.

But we need him!

Get back out there and play,

Gareth Small.

'Without reinforcements,

defeat was imminent.'

And that's the game.

Well done, gang.

It's half-time!

Sorry. My mistake. Interval!

The score is four points to nil.

'The troops were on the verge

of surrender,

'but, at the last minute,

a message arrived.'

Going to miss

the Bake Off at this rate.

Oh!

Darvesh, you look gorgeous!

Dennis! Come on, Dennis!

Go get them, girls.

Small! Get over here!

What on earth do you think

you're doing, boy?

Sir, you expelled Dennis

for wearing a dress,

but you can't expel us all.

Yeah

Are they wearing dresses?

Look after these.

Peter! Peter!

Oh! Jaspreet. Oh, Peter!

I have been thinking about

what you said.

You have to come with me.

What? Now? Yes. Now!

Something wonderful's happened.

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