The Break-Up Page #8

Synopsis: In Chicago, the art dealer Brooke Meyers feels not appreciated and neglected by her immature boyfriend Gary Grobowski, who is partner with his two brothers in a tourism business, and decides to break-up with him to make Gary miss her. Gary misunderstands her true intention, both follow the wrong advice of family members and friends, beginning a war of sexes with no winner.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Director(s): Peyton Reed
Production: Universal Pictures
  2 wins & 5 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.8
Metacritic:
45
Rotten Tomatoes:
34%
PG-13
Year:
2006
106 min
$118,683,135
Website
17,563 Views


Got to get back to Jen.|Very excited about|the win tonight.

Okay.

(DOOR OPENING)

(DOOR CLOSING)

BROOKE:
Addie,|if the condo sells,|I think I'm gonna lose him.

ADDIE ON PHONE:
|Yeah, but game night|was so light and fun,

I'm really surprised|to be hearing this.

Okay. You know what?|That's not constructive.|Really.

I just... Yeah, I need|a new plan, Addie. I don't...

(SNICKERING)

I'm just kidding. It's me.

I'm gonna have to|call you back.

Whenever one of my friends|is down, we all go on,|like, happy patrol.

I was actually having|a very serious conversation.

(SINGING)|Christopher, do not sing.

(SINGING) If you're happy|and you know it|Clap your hands

If you're happy|and you know it|Clap your hands

If you're happy|and you know it|You're going to smile to...

(DOOR SLAMS)

Pack up your sh*t and go home.

Okay. You know what?|This is not his fault.

He was just really trying|to cheer me up and it...

Did I or did I not give you|the day off to be sad?

Yes. But I...|Well, today's not that day,

and unfortunately for you,|I can't afford to look weak.

No, please.

You have warned me|so many times|and you have yet to fire me.

I think you and I both know|that to find and train|somebody new,

it's gonna cost you time,|and it's gonna cost you money,

and I don't think you want|to spend either one of those.

Now, look, I'm just gonna|take a wild guess here,

but you don't become|Marilyn Dean

without knowing|how to handle men.

Okay? Now, just listen|to my problem,

tell me how to fix it,|and then we'll all|go back to work.

Okay. What is this problem|so severe

that has caused you to|blaspheme in the synagogue|of Marilyn Dean?

Well, it's Gary.|I broke up with him

in hopes that losing me|would make him|want to change,

and that's, you know...

And I've just ended up|pushing him, you know,|farther and farther away.

That's it?|Yeah.

Honey, this is not|surrealism or cubism,|it's paint-by-numbers.

Go see Mischa,|my personal waxer at the spa.

Ask her for the Telly Savalas.

The Telly Savalas.

Compliments of M. Dean.

Then go show Gary|your immaculate canvas

and let him see another man|eager to paint it. Got it?

Got it?|Uh-huh.

Ow!

Who loves you, baby?

ANNOUNCER ON TV:
|Wow, impressive.|Three sharp hands landed.

What an amazing display|of punching technique.

The crowd jumps.|That punch rocked him.

They sense he's on the verge|of hitting the canvas.

The roaring for anticipation|of a knockout.

We are witnessing|a great fight.

He's displaying incredible|rhythm with his hands.

Bulldog terrorizing|his opponent. Down he goes!

Hard punch slams him|to the canvas.

(WHO LOVES YA BABY PLAYING)

REFEREE:
One, two, three,

four, five, six, seven, eight,

(BELL CLANGING)|nine, ten. It's over.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(STAMMERING)

Is... Did... Is Brooke here?

I don't know.

(VIDEO GAME PLAYING)

Brooke?|BROOKE:
I'll be right there.

(EXPLOSIONS ON TV)

MAN:
Cool, baby, cool.

(SCREAMING)

So, how do you and Brooke|know each other?

Well, how don't we|know each other,|you know what I mean?

BROOKE:
Hi, Paul.|Oh, hey. Wow, you look great.

Thank you.

BROOKE:
Are you ready to go?|Yeah. All set.

So, it was great meeting you.|Apple martinis.

All right, come on.|That normally does the trick.

Just ignore him.|But just two.|Three, she'll get sloppy.

You'll become a babysitter.

Oh, and fantasy role playing.|She's got a real thing|for lifeguards.

Put some zinc oxide|on your nose|and she'll lose her mind.

It'll all be over with.

(DOOR CLOSES)

MAN:
Y'all want me|to stop running?

I mean, the most challenging|part of what I do

is between February|and April 15th.

That's what we in the biz|like to call crunch time.

That sounds fascinating.

Good evening.|Hi.

Can I start you two off|with something to drink?

Yeah, you know, we're gonna|start with a couple|of apple martinis, please.

No, you know what?|I'm gonna... I'm just|gonna start with a water.

Well, you can just|bring those, just in case.|What was I saying?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, you know,|it's not like it's|all work and no play.

You know, I mean,|after April 15th,|that's what we in the biz

like to call party time.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Excuse me.

Oh, I have to get this.|I'm so sorry.

Hello.

ADDIE:
Okay, is this when|I'm supposed to call?|What?

What do you mean? What?|Where? What happened?

Okay, that's great.|Wait. What? Oh, all right.

Listen, where...|Just don't move.|Where are you?

I'm sitting in my kitchen.|Sitting? Okay.

(STAMMERING) Don't move.

Don't... I'm gonna be|right there, honey. I'm gonna|be right there, okay?

Is everything okay?|Oh, my gosh.

That was my best friend.

She just had an accident|and she...|She has this knee thing

and she's just very fragile,|and I have to go.|What?

I can give you a ride.|No. No. That's okay.

I'm gonna grab a cab, so...|I'm so sorry.

I like your dress.

I think he's fascinating.|He's obviously|read a lot of books.

Yeah. Yeah, I bet he has.

He reads a lot of books|because nobody|wants to talk to him.

He's a friend of Andrew's|who's always been polite.

It's the best I could do|on such short notice, okay?

Well, you know what?|Polite is not gonna do it.

We've got to find somebody|who is really gonna|make Gary jealous.

LUPUS:
|Can I just say something?

You sound a little jealous,|Gary.

GARY:
Why would I be|jealous of some guy|with computer skills?

Let's say he doesn't have|computer skills, but he's got|a big old elephant hog on him?

Would that bother you|or would you be|okay with that?

Not nearly as much as the way|that your mind works.

LUPUS:
My mind works great.

So, what's this bullshit|I hear about you|selling the condo?

Selling that condo|is ludicrous.

I was waiting for|when I was gonna get

the how-Gary-always-|screws-his-life-up|speech again.

This must be the right time.|Look, you tell me,

you just tell me, tell me.|Is it happening now?|Yeah. Okay.

Tell me how|losing that asset

is gonna get us|on the river?

Go ahead, just tell me.|Tell me. Somebody tell me.|What is this?

What is this? What is it?|What is it? Hey!|Don't patronize me.

Helicopters.|Helicopters. Exactly!

How does losing the asset|give us helicopters?

Dennis, I'm being totally|serious with you. I don't|need this sh*t right now.

Hey, you want to cry,|cry to Mom.

Nobody's crying.|I'm not crying.

I just don't feel|like hearing it.|There's no feelings here.

This is about money|and business.|Fine, you broke up.

You broke up. Fine.

You know, sad.

Sad is, instead of putting|$1,000 into your mortgage|every month,

you waste it on rent.|That's what sad is.

Oh, you're broke up.|You're confused,|brokenhearted.

Heartbreak is not|having that money

as part of your net worth|and then not saving the money,

so that after taxes|you can invest!

You know, you're confused.

Are you finished?|Look, I need|the damn tour logs.

Yeah.

Well, I really,|really appreciate|the heart to heart.

It was a great talk, Dennis.|Thank you.

Oh, well, you're behind|three months. You're still|behind three months.

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote

Jeremy Garelick

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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