The Comebacks Page #7

of a real relationship.

That I'm not afraid anymore.

That I am dying to let

you know how much I love you.

Nope, I never got that.

Oh. Okay, well, check.

Maybe it fell into the back

of your locker or something.

Yeah, I'll... okay.

Lance.

Wait.

There's something else

that I wanted to give you.

This.

Well, isn't that sweet?

Trotter...

We'll settle this on the field.

Woo! Michelle!

Got your letter, baby.

You and me after

the game, mama.

Woo! Yeah.

John, the excitement is so thick

In this stadium,

you could cut it with a knife.

A- A-And there's two things

That I love to cut with a knife.

One of'em is turkey,

and the other one is excitement.

And if you're a Comebacks fan,

You got to hope

they're not the turkeys.

But you have to believe

The Unbeatables will be

the guys with the knives.

Take a look down there-

It's unbelievable what's going on.!

Believers coming through!

- That's right! Get up!

- Get up!

- That's right. What's up?

- Come on. What's up!

What's up, eighth row?

Uh-Uh!

And the team captains

Take the field, ready

for the ceremonial coin toss.

Call it in the air.

And when I say "it,"

I do mean the coin.

Where is it?

Now where is it?

It's right here in your ear.

Call it in the air.

We'll receive.

Yeah, baby! Yeah!

Okay, ready... hut!

Unbeatables back to pass.

He's wide open.!

The bomb.!

He could go

All the way...

To Mexico.!

Green-20!

Green-20!

Hut!

Nah, you take that!

You take that!

Ooh!

Like you took my girl!

Personal foul.

Cock blocking.

Look, it's nothing personal, Trotter.

I'm in love with her, man.

Man, only thing you love

is taking my girl from me.

Man, would you guys shut up?

This game's bigger

than the two of you.

Football taught me

how to cope...

With anger, with life.

This team's all I got.

Without it, I have nothing.

Back on the skreets.

Dude,

Your parents

just bought you a house.

A condo.

A junior one-Bedroom.

Where am I supposed

to park my Prius, dawg?

All right, all right.

Pro-Right-94, on one.

On one. Ready?

Break!

Hut!

How about a flag, ref?

My guy's getting mugged out there.

Don't take

my Gold Card, man. Come on.

That's ridiculous.

How much is he paying you?

A 1,000 dollars a call.

Twice the going rate.

Where is it now?

Hut!

Come on, ref!

That's attempted homicide!

You gotta call that!

What are you guys, blind?

Unbeatables up the middle

For an easy touchdown.!

They're running

all over the Comebacks,

Who are more than overmatched.

Jim Rome here, and this is a ridiculous

Half-Time score:
35 to nothing.!

BOTH:

We believe. We believe.

We believe.

So, you ready to give up?

Almost.

Hey, hey, my favorite part of the game-

The half-Time show.!

Janet Jackson and Justin

Timberlake couldn't make it,

So instead, we present you

with this wholesome salute

To American values.

#The weekend's here #

# The weather's nice,

two football teams are playin' #

# I put your

favorite beer on ice #

#But the couch

is where you're staying #

# The game is

on the plasma screen #

#Got deep-Fried snacks

for munchin' #

# Rootin' for

the home team #

#Oops, wardrobe

malfunction #

I mean, I mean,

It started out where she

was wearing

A lot of clothes,

then she wasn't wearing

A lot of clothes,

and then boom, I got a chubby.

Take a knee.

Listen up.

I've been a loser all my life.

I came into this world ass-First.

I was raised as a girl till

my walnuts dropped at age 13.

I didn't lose my virginity

until I was 22.

That was by accident.

I didn't know

I was gonna have to pay for it-

I thought it was a date.

I've destroyed everything

I've ever touched,

Chased away everyone

who's ever loved me.

I am...

...a failure as a husband

And a father and a coach.

And a human being.

Um... Coach?

Isn't this the part

Where you turn

your personal tragedies

And shortcomings

Into a rousing,

inspirational rally cry?

Huh?

Oh. That's a great idea.

You're a real asset

to the team!

Well, thanks, Coach.

Does that mean I can play

in the second half?

No, absolutely not.

All right.

All right.

I don't think

I have to tell you all,

The scope

of the second half is to...

Aim high.

And I...

Pledge... to all of you.

That you will be

Showered...

By the cheers

And shouts of joy...

From your fans.

It depends...

...on you now.

Remember...

Your preparation

H...

And you can all be...

Champs!

Yeah, champs!

All right, let's close our eyes

and bow our heads.

Okay, you can open

your eyes again.

All right, let's go get 'em!

Second half just under way,

And despite the score,

it seems the Comebacks

Are even more fired up.!

And nobody wants this

More than Coach Fields.

That's the way!

That's the way!

Hope you had a good rest, Oprah.

Actually, Coach gave

a very inspirational spee...

Wait a minute, what'd you say?

Oprah. I'm saying you're

as fat as Oprah, you fat ass!

Are you

saying Oprah's fat?

Oprah's an incisive

and charitable lady,

You miserable piece of sh*t!

The toss to Trotter...

Ooh.! And Truman lays

a huge block.!

Go, go!

Yeah!

That's the way!

Truman scrambling.

Nowhere to go.!

Oh, look at that, Trotter

takes out two Unbeatables.!

I mean, I mean,

Looks like he's

gonna score, Al.!

The Comebacks are finally

starting to play like a team.!

Yes! Yes! Yes.

Oh!

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

Nice block.

Thanks.

Nice run.

Thanks.

Hey, Lance.

Be good to her, man.

Be good to her, too.

Not all about winning, is it?

Hey, cameraman!

I hope you're

watching, Barb.

John, it looks like Coach Fields

Is holding up the sign,

"I heart you. "

Oh, he loves me.

Like chili fries

and the smell of his own burps.

BOTH He loves you, Barb.

He loves you, Barb.

He loves you, Barb.

He loves you, Barb.

He loves you, Barb.

He loves you, Barb.

He loves you, Barb.

He loves you, Barb.

Why can't I have that?

It's so beautiful.

Aww.

Hey, Coach!

Suppose I can get in the game?

Hey, guys, look who's back.

- I'm a quick healer.

- Hey, gang.

The cavalry's arrived.

And he goes by the name of-

Aseel Tare.

Okay, I got it. ACL Tear,

get out there. Let's go.

Not you Randy. Not you.

Set!

Brown-88! Hike!

Aseel Tare with the carry.

Look at that.!

He's got the entire defense

on his back.

The pile is clearing, John.

Yeah, yeah, it is. And take a look at that.

He got ripped into pieces.

Oh!

No worries!

I'm a quick healer. Whoo!

Yeah!

John, what we're seeing here

Is a definite shift

in momentum.

I mean, we-we really are, Al.

I mean, y-You take a look

at what's happening

And they were down by a lot

And now they're not down

by as much

And-And pretty soon

they could erase this deficit.

Randy.

Randy.

Randy.

Randy! Randy!

Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy!

Randy! Randy! Randy!

Randy! Randy!

They're calling your name, son.

Get out there!

Randy! Randy!

Go! Go, Randy!

Would you look at this.!

Randy Randinger is making

His first appearance ever

for the Comebacks.!

Randinger's wide open.!

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