The Competition Page #6

---

so we're going to

finish this this weekend.

Finish it?

Well, that's what

you want, right?

Your name in lights.

Glory, the big win?

Yeah, all right.

Saturday bachelor party,

we'll finish it.

Oh, and, uh, listen,

I would love

some strippers for Saturday.

Do you think Corina

knows any of those?

Gee, probably.

I thought so.

Resourceful lady, that one.

You have no idea.

So, are you just doing this

for the gifts?

'Cause we could use

a new Keurig.

- Nah, no gifts.

- Then why?

Women are happy to stay

engaged for like, ever!

It's a get out

of jail free card, man.

Does Danielle know this?

She doesn't not know it.

Ahh, Jacob, you are an island.

So check this out.

It's the prototype for my

new app, Mars Calling Venus.

A guy can ask Venus

anything he wants to know,

and she'll tell him the truth

about what women

are really thinking.

So, say for example...

sexual partners.

The average woman has had

eight lovers, but when polled,

76% said they'd lie

and answer four or less.

Naughty, naughty, Venus.

Naughty, naughty, Venus.

Is that it?

Well, she gets naked.

And I loaded her with car

and sports trivia.

Ed got me a meeting

with some suits on Monday.

Ooh, I'm going to be rich!

Did you make her

look like Lauren?

- What?

- Yeah, you...

Is that a mole

under her left eye?

Dude, you have

lost your mind.

This woman has straight up crawled up

inside your brain and made you go wonky!

So, party tonight

at Tucci's?

I'll wear a suit.

You don't own a suit.

You own a suit.

I own a suit.

I've had a lot of free time.

There's the three rings

of marriage, brother.

There's the engagement ring,

the wedding ring,

and then there's

the suffer-ring!

Boo!

Boo that man.

Oh, man, I can't believe

you're getting married.

You know how long Jenny has been

harassing me to pull the trigger?

She wants four kids.

Dang,

that's a lot of kids.

That is a lot of kids.

In Korea we have large families

of many generations

and we all live together

under one roof.

You grew up in Napa Valley.

But my people, we...

We started...

Your parents own a winery...

in Napa!

So, what flipped the switch?

What can I say, fellas?

I love her.

- I hope so.

- Drink to that.

Mm. What about you, Ed,

do you love Kimberly?

Um, let me see. I married the

girl when we were 18 years old,

so yeah, I think I love her.

No, that's time, man.

I'm talking about love.

Real love, the kind you

walk through fire for,

you know what I'm saying?

Well, yeah.

She's my girl.

Yeah, she is, right?

And she's a good one.

Things have been going great

since I started rubbing her feet.

Sometimes she'll even put on

her old cheerleading outfit

- and wear it for me.

- There you go.

- Jenny thinks outfits are silly.

- Yeah, well, they're not.

My girl looks pretty amazing

in that outfit.

Well, that sounds

like love to me, man.

Cheerleader love.

Does she still love you?

Damn right, she loves me.

What kind of question

is that to ask a man?

- It's just a question.

- Yeah, come on, why so defensive?

You boys better

get your heads in check.

That woman loves me!

She calls me her Eddie Pie.

What?

Whoa, hold on,

say that again?

It's not like an edible pie?

Like a Tasty Pastry?

OK, Eddie Pie. I mean, it

sounds like you're it for her.

Like, you are her

White Knight.

Hmm.

Black Knight.

I'm her Black Knight.

- Yes, you are. Black Knight.

- Yeah.

No, No!

We're jamming.

There you go.

Hey, all I'm saying

is you're a lucky man.

That sense of truly finding

the one? It's pretty rare.

Yeah.

You call it. Do that.

Maybe four isn't so many.

Now that's

a butt load of kids.

- Shh.

- That's a butt load of kids.

That's a butt load of kids.

I love you too, baby.

Maybe when I get home

you can...

wear that little...

outfit for me?

All right.

All right.

Bye-bye, baby.

It's noisy in there, huh?

You with all those crazy guys?

Uh, yeah.

It's hot in there, too.

I'm Corina.

Do you have a light?

I don't smoke.

Well,

you look smoking to me.

OK, OK... what you doing?

What do you mean,

"What am I doing?"

I'm talking to you.

You're doing more

than just that.

Maybe I am.

Do you have a name?

I got a name.

I just don't know

I want you to have it.

Is that so?

My name is Eddie Pie.

I am a Black Knight.

Goodnight, fair lady.

Good for him.

That's better.

Now...

tell me where you want it?

- I know where I want it.

- Wait your turn.

It's never my turn.

- You want to take a shot?

- No, I'm trying to quit.

Aww. Well, you don't mind

if I take one, do you?

- Yeah.

- Up.

Wait. Whoa...

OK...

OK, now...

where do we want it?

I don't.

Oh, you naughty boy.

In the crotch, huh?

That just so happens to be

my favorite place to take it.

How'd you know?

All right, now, you

have to be very careful,

'cause if you move,

it'll spill.

And let me make

one thing clear,

I am taking that shot,

every last drop.

Are we ready, boys?

- Yeah.

- No, no.

- Here we go!

- Ohh! Ohh!

Oh! You naughty boy.

Guess I'm just going to have to

clean you all up with my tongue.

- Ooh.

- Oh!

Here's some ice...

I'm really sorry,

it was just a reflex.

Would you just make

yourself useful

and hand me my purse?

I'm leaving.

Thanks.

I didn't want a shot.

Ooh, boy, you really

screwed that one up, buddy.

I can understand

you not wanting

to show everyone Mr. Floppy,

but did you really have to

knee that poor girl

in the face?

It was a reflex, man.

Hey, uh, where's Simon?

And... Mandy?

Where are they?

They went for a walk.

Wait, you let them leave?

- Hello?

- Hello, Lauren?

It's Heather Decker.

I have the update

on your book offer.

They like the blog

and your story around that,

but they caught wind

of the competition.

They think

that's a better angle.

Caught wind of it? How?

Your sister made a call

to the publisher.

Apparently, she's not

a fan of your blog.

She's pushing this new angle,

and they like it a lot.

Gena is not a fan of the blog.

Why doesn't she just

stay out of my life?

Did you hear me, Lauren?

They are very interested.

They are offering

two million dollars for it.

- Two million?

- Yes.

But you have to win.

Otherwise, no deal.

Are you still there?

They want to talk to you

on Monday.

They want to get started

right away.

Yeah, I'm still here.

Listen, that's...

that's an incredible offer,

that's amazing.

It's just it takes

the whole thing

into a completely

different direction

and I'm not sure

that's the book

that I want to write.

Let me think about it

for a couple of days. OK?

Thanks, Heather.

- Hey.

- How could you do it, man?

- Do what?

- You know what.

I don't know

what you're talking about.

Did you sleep with her?

Did you have sex with Mandy?

Look, man, I don't know what

you're talking about, all right?

I thought you were

better than that.

Ah! Get out of there, Cal,

stop it! Get off of me!

You're still wearing

your underwear.

Watch Movies and Series Free!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes