The Cooler Page #3

You've--

Thank you.

So...

want to go get

some breakfast?

They've got these rules

about casinos hiring felons,

so he got me a gig

in telemarketing.

We were scamming

pensioners...

out of their retirement money.

I lasted two weeks.

Here you go.

- By that time...

I was really getting in deep.

I owed one of the casinos

over a hundred grand.

I put Shelly

in a really awkward position.

I don't blame him

for what he did.

What?

Your leg?

He did that to you?

He shot you?

- No. Baseball bat.

I got off easy.

What do you mean

you 'got off easy'?

I was out of control.

He maimed you,

for f***'s sake!

Listen to me.

I'm grateful for what he did.

I am absolutely serious.

Anytime I get an urge

to play off the clock...

or so much as drop

a quarter in a slot,

I just reach down and feel

what's left of my cartilage.

It's an excellent reminder.

- Jesus Christ.

I thought sh*t like that

only happened in the movies.

Anyway, Shelly and

I worked out...

a repayment plan.

Six years off the books...

at the Shangri-La

cooling tables...

and in five days...

- Three.

Oh! Oh, sh*t.

Oh, my God! Now?

Are you sure?

I'm going into labor.

Yeah, I'm going into labor.

Ow-ww!

Deep breaths, deep breaths.

Stay very calm.

Okay, everybody, we're having

a baby, we're having a baby.

You f***ing cocksucker!

Who puts their bag...

in the middle of

the f***ing thing...

so a pregnant woman

can trip over it?

Mikey?

- Bernie.

I guess you're gonna be

a grandfather, Bernie.

Huh. Is this you?

Hey, what the f***,

it runs.

Here, sit down.

You all right?

- Yeah.

Anyway, we've got

to get out of here.

Hey, Mikey.

How's your mom doing?

I'm gonna pretend

like you give a sh*t...

and tell you she's getting by

as long as she's high.

Her name is Charlene,

in case you were wondering.

Hey, when's the last time

you saw a doctor?

About six months ago,

back in Jersey.

I wasn't about to go back there

after they treated me like cattle.

Just 'cause I had

no insurance, you know?

All those places are crawling

with TB from them spics.

Listen, Mikey,

if you want to...

why don't you drop by

the Bettor Life Motel,

give us a chance to...

to catch up?

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

maybe we'll do that.

Play catch up,

for the kid's sake.

Thanks.

- Don't mention it.

$100 minimum table, sir.

No offense, pal,

but there's 20

other tables here.

What do you want to come

sit on my head for?

I'm just gonna play one hand.

I'm feeling lucky tonight.

I've got this voice in my head

that says, 'This is the table.'

Insurance?

- No.

Oh, yes! Yes, yes!

Busto! Mel,

what's happening to you?

Oh, yeah, welcome

to Mel's house.

Hey, where are you going?

Stick around, pal.

You and me, we make

a great team. Hey!

What was that?

I mean, what the f*** gives?

Is it McGann?

The guy's been

with me 12 years.

He's as stand-up as

my f***ing dick.

Maybe he's having

money problems.

I'm gonna pull him.

No, no, no.

- Was he counting them?

The mook with the streak?

- Is there a problem?

No, there's no problem.

Fella's on a streak, is all.

Let me guess,

this is one of your 'coolers'?

Why don't you announce

it to the whole...

f***ing joint while you're at it?

They told me that

you were a sticker...

for the old ways, but coolers?

What is this guy, really?

A car mechanic?

Some kind of shill?

'Cause he doesn't look

too effective to me.

He's the best. Take it from me.

- All right. Sure. Whatever.

There are ways--

subtle ways--...

that we can keep the odds

in our favor.

I'm talking about more

forward-thinking methods.

I'm sure you've got

a whole prospectus...

on the subject, right?

Well, as a matter of fact,

yeah, I do.

For instance,

I can tell you right off the bat...

the wallpaper's

not gonna cut it.

It's too uplifting.

I would suggest going

with some more muted tones.

Wallpaper?

- Yeah. And personally,

I think the cocktail waitresses...

could pop another

button or two.

Myself, I wouldn't hire

anything less than a 'C' cup.

You know what that is?

- No.

It's music to be sure.

It's pleasant, not intrusive,

but recorded

at a subsonic level is a mantra.

'Lose... lose... lose.'

We're just skimming

the surface, Shelly.

We really need to talk.

Shelly?

You better come quick.

Contact his daughter...

and assist with

the arrangements.

The Shangri-La

will cover all expenses.

What about the Paradise?

- She's going dark tonight.

Er, that won't be necessary.

# Can I steal a little love? #...

# Can I steal a little love? #...

# Cool me honey,

I'm on fire #...

# To steal your love

is my desire #...

# Hug me, squeeze me,

till I'm red #...

# Till my eyes

bug out my head #...

# Coo me, woo me,

turtledove #...

# Can I steal a little love? #...

# Please tell me,

why are you driving

me crazy? #...

# Why do I dig you

like I do? #...

# If I should steal a little kiss,

and you can prove that

it was wrong #...

# Then I'll give it

back to you #...

# Honey, baby with a smile #...

# I can walk you

down the aisle #...

# I won't even need

a shove #...

# Can I steal a little love? #

Young lady, over here.

You want to give it a shot?

Yeah. Come here.

- Five for $1.

Thanks, Bernie.

- Good luck.

Are you ready?

Sh*t.

All right, double fisted.

Damn!

Too bad. Better luck next time.

You want to try again?

- Yes.

No, no, no. Thank you.

- Thanks.

What?

- Nothing.

What?

- You're an easy mark, is all.

I'm an easy mark?

You know where

that comes from?

No.

Years ago, Shelly

and me were working

Coney Island for the summer...

and when I'd see a

guy who had a full...

wallet and was

willing to open it up,

I'd mark him with chalk.

I'd put it on my hand

and go something like,

'Hey, man, good work.'

'Hey, buddy, how you doing?'

What the guy didn't realize...

was that when he walked

down the way...

Shelly could spot

him a mile off.

An easy mark.

Thanks a lot, Bernie.

I've got to sit.

Hi.

You okay?

- Yeah.

Did you notice, last night,

that tattoo on my butt?

Little Joe?

- Yeah.

Yeah, two 2's.

'Little Joe.'

I had a son.

His name was Joe.

I was his mother for one year.

You don't have to tell me this.

- No, I want to, Bernie.

I gave my son up for adoption.

I just wanted my life back.

I was 17 going on 18...

and I was so f***ing selfish.

My family didn't want nothing

to do with me after that,

so I hitched a ride out here...

and thought

I'd make it as a showgirl.

I'd like to think that

if it happened...

when I was older,

with a guy that I cared about,

that it would have

been different, you know?

I think about my little

Joe sometimes...

and I do know I did

the right thing.

I'm convinced of that.

Natalie...

I think...

I think I could kick your ass

at the dime toss.

# You may not be

an angel #...

# 'Cause angels

are so few #...

# But until the day

that one comes along... #...

Would you do

something for me?

# I'll string along with you... #

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