The Cooler Page #4

Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah!

Bernie!

- Yes!

Oh, yeah.

Ow! Ow! Jesus, ow.

Oh, yeah!

Bernie, let's do it up the ass.

- Okay.

Please, please?

- Okay, okay.

No, my ass!

- Oh!

# And until the day

that one comes along... #

Yes!

Shut the f*** up in there!

Did we wake you?

# For every little fauIt

that you have #...

# See, I've got three or four #...

# The human little fauIts

you do have #...

# Just make me

love you more... #

I have to pee.

I'm always peeing.

Hey.

How did you get in here?

I told the desk clerk

Bernie was my old man.

He let us wait inside.

Is that cool with you?

Bernie is out

looking for a parking space.

I must have taken the last one.

I didn't get your name.

- Natalie, Mikey.

Tell me something, Natalie,

is he paying you?

Excuse me?

My old man,

is he renting your ass?

Because, otherwise,

I just don't get it.

I mean,

a loser like my pops...

in the company

of some primo tits and ass?

It don't compute.

Is this enough

to get me a little taste?

Family discount?

Are you kidding me?

- No, baby.

Mikey!

- Hey, Bernie.

I told you we was

gonna stop by.

I thought you'd call ahead first.

We were at breakfast.

Hey. Hey.

You missed some.

Hey, that's nice.

Hi.

- Hi.

You see, Bernie, the thing is...

we're kind of strapped.

I mean, Charly here

is expecting like yesterday.

And we don't have the

dough to make with...

the right nutrition

for her and all.

So I was wondering...

if you would like to

invest a little...

maybe in your

grandchild's future,

his well-being.

It's almost three grand.

That's all I got.

That's-- that's

very generous.

Bless you, Bernie.

You want to feel it?

You know, I really--

I don't think...

Oh-- I just feIt a kick.

Come on, Bernie,

give me your hand.

You feel that?

- I don't know. I think so.

Hey, we'll catch

you later, Bernie.

Okay.

Thanks.

Take care, Dad.

New Shangri-La

Hotel and Casino.

We break ground on

her in six months.

She's perfect.

Three floors of gaming,

Imax theater,

entertainment center,

boutiques, restaurants,

roller coaster.

You name it, we've got it.

She pays for herself

in three years.

After that, it's easy money.

Isn't she great, Shell?

ln 'Lost Horizon,

' these people,

their plane crashes

in the Himalayas...

and they get rescued,

Taken to this Utopia

in the mountains, Shangri-La.

It's beautiful.

Totally isolated,

untouched by the

outside world.

No war, no greed,

no bullshit.

Time has slowed down.

You never age.

It's paradise.

You see, that's

what Shangri-La is.

It's paradise.

Yeah, we've seen

the movie, Shelly.

What's your point?

My point is,

you don't f*** with paradise.

Come on. Jesus, Shelly.

Hey, we're not trying

to f*** with it.

We're trying to make it better.

- How?

How you gonna make it better?

It's perfect just the way it is.

It's the last of its kind.

It's pure.

This-- this is a

f***ing mockery.

How is it a mockery, Shelly?

It's right out of the movie.

Who's talking about a movie?

This is not a movie.

This is my f***ing life.

Let me ask you one question,

where are you gonna be...

when they decide

to change it back?

When people want the

real Vegas again,

before all this 'Epcot

Center' bullshit?

Who's gonna give it to them?

You? I don't think so.

You know who?

The same fucks...

who started this in

the first place.

You know what's

gonna happen?

It's gonna come

around full circle...

and bite you on

the f***ing ass,

take my words for it.

Shelly, you make

some good points, huh?

Maybe we'll swing

back the other way...

someday. Who the hell knows?

But for now, this moment,

I suggest we shoot the dice.

My friend, I think

you should take some time...

just to think things through.

I know this is a lot to digest,

I know that.

Wait up a second.

What do you say?

I thought we were

gonna go eat.

Why don't you try

this table over here?

It's a little less crowded.

No, let's play here.

It's my lucky table.

I always play here.

Come on,

it's more private over here.

Shelly, I'm a big guy. I know

how to take care of myself.

Go ahead. I know

how to find you.

Go ahead. Go eat.

Here we go.

Come on.

Out! Seven, line away.

What the f***?

Come on, 'Pops.'

What the hell?

I could have paid my mortgage

with the money I just lost.

File a grievance, all right?

Shithead.

Come on,

give me two hot ones.

Come on, new shooter.

Nicky:

Give me 100 on right,

All right, shooter. Come on.

Hey, hurry up,

Gramps! Come on,

your soup's getting cold, huh?

Four, hard four.

- Give me $25 yellow.

Hey, 'Uncle Palsy'...

come on, throw

them before you...

f***ing keel over

and die, old man.

Be there!

Seven, out. Line away.

Thanks for the bets, folks.

Don't take it so hard, Pops.

Everybody craps out.

Now go f***ing change

your Depends.

That's good.

Who's laughing now?

Crack wise now,

you f***ing 'Ken doll'

no-dick, suburbanite,

f***ing scum.

Huh? Now how's that

for a game?

Nicky, Nicky. Hey, it's all right.

- Get the f*** out of here!

Disrespectful cocksucker!

Nicky:

How do you like

the game so far?

Nicky, Nicky, take it easy.

Come on. Come on, come on!

That ain't right!

The guy f***ed up

my whole game.

Who the f*** does

he think he is?

You're right. Forget about him,

he's just a piece of sh*t.

Let me see your hand.

- My hand is all right.

I got news for you. I

thought this joint...

had more f***ing class, okay?

It used to be we

didn't let a bum...

like that in this f***ing place.

Come on.

This town...

this town, you know,

all-- all I want to do...

is go some place

where I can tell night from day,

where they've got

clocks on the walls.

I can't breathe here anymore.

Four days and I'm

gone. I don't even...

know if I can hold out that long.

So where does that

leave us, Bernie?

A week ago,

I couldn't even

remember what it was...

like to have a

woman's hands on me.

I still pinch myself.

I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up--

Come with me.

Natalie, I want you

to come with me.

God, Bernie.

- I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to

spring it on you.

I-- I've been working on this

compatibility chart, okay?

And it looks good,

really it does.

So, what's the problem?

The problem is it's

only good here.

But that's just for now,

for the immediate future.

You know, when the

planets realign...

maybe next year...

A year! ? Natalie,

I can't wait another year.

I can't--

I can't go, Bernie.

Hi, Doris.

- Hey.

Oh, sh*t.

Just a second.

Chang, party of 15,

your table is ready.

Chang, party of 15.

All right.

- Come on, papa-to-be!

Come on, y'all.

I want to send my

baby to college.

Six and a three,

five and a four. Let's go.

This is for our baby's future.

Don't 'blow ' it.

This is for you.

This one's on the line

for the guys with bowties,

with shoes.

- Oh, yeah.

Dealer's got shoes.

The point's nine.

Let's get that.

A six and a three,

a five and a four,

Let's do it. Can we get it?

Can we get it? Come on.

We got a shooter.

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