The D Train Page #7

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I mean, maybe we should talk about it.

I don't know, we haven't really talked

about what happened.

I mean, l'm kind of

in the middle of something, you know?

All right, sit down.

F*** me.

- Dan, LAwas fun. We did it up.

-Mmm-hmm.

Bui it was a one-time thing.

Oh, yeah. I know, totally.

I don't want that to happen again.

I need you to know that.

L'm not gay.

I'm not, either.

Right. I mean,

I'm married, I have a family.

Exactly.

But... But, but...

What if we were

in like an alternate universe

where I wasn't?

(INHALES DEEPLY)

- Why does it matter?

-I don't know.

Dan, go to sleep.

Okay. Okay.

STACEY:
Ow! Ow!

Dan.

Jesus! No!

-l'm sleeping. Get off of me.

-DAN:
Sorry. Sorry.

- OLIVERI It's delish.

-STACEY:
Oh, ljust put it together, guys.

OLIVER:
Home cooking, man.

I miss it.

STACEY:
Oh, Stop.

OLIVER:
...lying in the tall grass...

(LAUGHING)

Good morning.

Look at this kid,

he's focused. You got a big night.

What's going on here?

What's up, buddy?

Hey, man. You rememberAlyssa.

- Hi.

-Yeah.

All cleaned up.

So, uh, what were we laughing about?

Z-Bone's got himself

a big night lined up.

Z-Bone? What is that?

Nickname I gave the kid.

I don't think that works at all.

He's going to have his first threesome.

What?

(LAUGHING)

OLIVER:
Right?

I mean, lwas 16 before I did that.

- Did what?

-Nothing.

Oh! (CHUCKLES)

Alyssa, would you like some potatoes?

Mmm. Yes.

I would love some. Thank you, Stacey.

OLIVER:
Hey, man, you're ready to go.

So, where is this supposed to go down?

At Heathers. Tomorrow night.

Mmm-hmm.

And where are her parents?

Oh. They are going to be at your reunion.

0h, they are? That's perfect.

- Yeah, it totally is.

-Yeah, it actually is.

So, I'm just the last

to find out about this?

- No, man. Stace doesn't know.

-ZACH:
Please donHell her, Dad.

Hey, he's not

gonna tell her, dude. He's cool.

Yeah, I'm cool.

But I should have known about this.

I tried to tell you,

but you wouldn't listen, so I asked Oliver.

0h, so you encouraged this?

- Yeah, why wouldn't l?

-He's 14.

What are you gettin'

so upset about, Dan?

You should be celebrating this.

He's a stud.

(ALYSSA LAUGHING)

- You know what? I want you out of here.

-What?

You heard me.

I want you out of this house!

Dan!

Stacey, this does not concern you.

-It's okay, Stacey.

-No, it is not okay.

It is okay!

Maybe I overstayed my welcome.

L'm gonna get my things

and crash at Craig's.

STACEY:
I am so sorry, Oliver.

Dan, what is the matter with you?

LUCY:
So sorry...

S0 you can see

that the ladies are on the dance floor

underneath this beautiful railing.

If you get a chance later,

have a free moment of time,

come and check out the model.

It's almost to scale.

Uh, If you actually

could hold on that for a second, Luce'?

Thank you so much.

Uh, ljust got a text from Lawless,

and he needs the password

to the Facebook page.

- What does he need it for'?

-Jesus Christ.

He wants to post a photo

of us from last night.

Who gives a f***?

Dan, you're not

the gatekeeper of the Facebook page.

Please give him the password.

Oliver is not

a commiiiee member, Lucy.

Yeah, but Craig is.

But he's just gonna give it to him, Jerry.

No, lwon't give it to him.

Because I can only give it to people

who are on the committee.

Okay, everyone heard him say that.

You're on record.

(SIGHS)

Okay, fine.

R-E...

U-N...

l...

O...

- N.

-li's reunion?

- With three exclaims on the end.

-Good password.

Randy, come take a look.

(LAUGHING)

0h, look. He's doing it.

Uh, no, we're talking

about something else entirely.

Oh, Really?

What are you talking about?

Just give me a second.

-L'm gonna sh*t myself!

-(LAUGHING)

CRAIG:
Me 10o. (LAUGHING)

Okay, you know what?

This has gone offihe rails,

and what are we doing?

We're giving passwords

to non-committee members,

we're letting them upload

unauthorized photos.

Dan, I'm gonna ask you to calm down.

Lucy, I'm totally calm.

What the f*** is going on here?

This is ridiculous. Okay?

It's one guy and we're gonna build

the whole f***ing thing around him?

-It was your idea.

-DAN:
What the f***?

What the f*** do you care?

Renina' you never ever talk,

and now you pipe in?

- She's right, Dan. We...

-DAN:
Okay, so what?

So I made a mistake.

Am I not allowed to make a mistake?

Am I not human?

This reunion is for everybody.

It's for all of us! Notjust him!

God!

(SIGHS)

(LAUGHING)

Okay. Announcement.

Ithink I'm out, guys.

- All right, man.

-No, I mean, out-out.

No, we get it. We know what you meant.

You know, it's honestly fine.

I mean, all the work's done, so...

DAN:
Okay.

LUCY:
Anyway...

- What that?

-Yeah, look, and then...

(LAUGHING)

ls there a picture of just me and him?

(MUSIC PLAYING FROM PHONE)

(KNOCKING)

- Hey, Daniel.

-DAN:
Hey, Bill.

(MUSIC STOPS)

Are you okay?

A lot of stuff, Bill.

Yeah, well, l hate to pile on more,

but we got a problem

because I am 90% sure

that this is not the guy we met with.

And I do not know what is going on.

But I think

we're being duped in some way.

And see,

when I click this like Steve said,

the picture stays the same.

Now, if I could enlarge this,

then we would know who this is.

But I can't.

I don't know.

There's no way to enlarge this.

Yeah, there's no way to enlarge it.

Right?

(SIGHS)

BILL; F***.

Maybe if I hi1 this.

No.

- Bill.

-Yeah.

There is a way to enlarge it.

That's not him.

No. It isn't.

And Google

is a great way to search for stuff.

It's actually the best engine out there.

What?

And you can add someone

to an email chain at any point.

It's so easy.

Daniel, whafs going on?

I lied to you.

There's no deal in LA.

Kent Drazen isn't real.

The guy you met,

his name is Oliver Lawless.

And he was the coolest guy

in my high school,

and I just wanted to go out there

and convince him

to come to the reunion.

You faked a deal?

So you could take a trip to LA?

Why didn't you just

buy a ticket and go out on the weekend?

Yeah. Yeah.

In retrospect,

that would have been a lot easier.

But I needed an excuse

for my wife, so...

Okay. I got you.

So, couldn't you have just

told her it was a business trip,

and left me out of it?

I could have. I oould have.

I could have done that.

(smume)

Actually, I'm not sure why I didn't.

(smume)

So what now'?

I mean, I assume I'm fired.

Fired from what?

I don't even know

if we have a company anymore.

Right.

I spent so much money...

I know, right. Right.

I don't know what to say, Bill.

I mean, I'm so sorry.

I never meant for it to go this far.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

You know what's funny?

I actually liked Drazen.

Idid, too.

Yeah, and' I don't know,

itjust felt good, you know,

chasing the big fish again, you know.

He liked you, Bill.

That was real.

It wasn't real.

Well, right,

I mean, he wasn't really Drazen, but...

Did you get him?

Who?

Yourfriend, Lawless.

Igot him.

Good.

Bill, are we cool?

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