The Day the Earth Caught Fire Page #5

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- Keep talking.

- Control to Miss Er. Control to Miss Er.

Waiting for you to come on in.

Come on in. The water's fine.

- What about this?

- It's terrible, isn't it?

Anyone with that kid?

Sounds like a lost child somewhere.

Hello there. Are you lost? Now, stop crying.

We're lost, too, and we're not crying, are we?

Who did you come here with?

Mummy? Daddy?

What's your name, sweetie?

Well, we seem to have

made a big impact here.

What do you think we should do?

Well, there's only one thing to do.

The three of us must head

for the nearest cave,

face the future with courage and

vow to carry on the human race.

There's usually a policeman

at the main gate.

My name's Peter.

Won't you tell me yours?

Well, we'll just have to

call her Miss Erjunior.

Make it senior.

I'm changing mine to Jeannie.

- Jeannie what?

- Craig. Is that all right?

Yeah. Most suitable.

Sort of Scotch, like the mist.

There you are.

Now you're taller than all of us.

- It's not like normal fog, is it?

- Heat mist.

- What, this thick?

- Well, it's your switchboard,

you should know.

Let's get out of the road.

How you doing up there, partner?

See anyone you know?

So?

You look as if you're used

to carrying children.

My doctor says I have

the perfect figure for it.

Also, I have a child of my own.

- We found an abandoned lady in the park.

- But she won't talk.

- Well, now, and your what's name, my dear?

- Trixie.

- And who did you come up with, Trixie?

- Rita.

Well, you stay with me, and we'll

wait for Rita to come out, all right?

Yes.

- Where do you live?

- Embankment Terrace.

Come on, we'd better hop on this.

Bloody marvellous, isn't it?

Clear as a bell on the top deck.

We've had the lot this summer?

Not yet, but there'll be three

feet of snow by teatime.

You don't want to joke about that.

Looks spooky, doesn't it?

I'm fascinated to know what your

friend Holroyd makes of this.

He's not my friend. I just

work for him now and then.

- And turn down all his passes?

- He's harmless.

Nobody's harmless,

not if they're normal.

- And you're normal?

- So far.

There's very few of us normals left,

you know. You should always be nice to us.

Is it a boy or a girl?

Your child?

A boy.

- Are you married?

- Divorced.

I meet him there once a week.

He likes the funfair.

All kids do, don't they?

He wants to live there, on the ghost train,

if it can be rented reasonably.

Sounds like our cue to walk.

Hello, hello, hello. Sorry,

I was following the white line.

Sorry, this station's closed for

the time being. I'm sorry, sir.

No trains for a while, madam.

Looks as if the Underground's closed.

Will you wait while I phone the office?

- Sorry, sir, the station's closed.

- I'm press. I only want to use the phone.

If I let you in, they'd all want to.

It's chaos down there as it is.

Why? What happened?

Well, this fog's coming down the

air shafts and along the tunnels.

It's a good thing you live within

groping distance. Which way?

That way.

We turn left in a minute,

about 20 yards.

You time it, I'll pace it.

One, two, three...

What comes after three? Oh, yes...

There's a telephone in my

flat if you care to use it.

- Without prejudice, of course.

- Naturally.

I'm turning left.

I don't know about you.

Yes, please? Oh, Miss Craig.

- Quite a day, isn't it?

- Certainly is, miss.

There's just been a fog warning.

- The whole country's covered in it.

- That's Britain today.

What we have, we share.

You know, they say,

it's not what you call a true fog.

More like a sort of heat mist.

Heavier than your typical fog, it is.

- Thanks for the breakdown.

- Hey, mister. Where are we, mister?

- Ask him, Dad.

- Where are we, mister?

- We're trying to find the coach station.

- Ask him, Mum.

- I just asked him.

- No, I want to go to the toilet.

You wait till the coach station.

Tell her, Dad.

You wait till the coach station.

- Oh, the coach station.

- Yeah.

You want to try and

get to the embankment.

- Look, I'll show you.

- That's right, the embankment.

Now, now, keep going till you

come to the T-road, right?

- Brings you straight onto the embankment.

- Where are we, mate?

- Embankment Crescent.

- Just shows. It should be Sloane Square.

I've gotta go, Mum.

Why you can't wait?

It's the same at the pictures.

Well, I don't know. I shouldn't think they'll

be running many coaches in this fog.

Oh, dear.

Really, it's stifling.

Are there more expensive

apartments above the mist line?

- Looks fantastic, doesn't it?

- With a bit of luck, it'll go on forever.

You came to telephone, Mr Stenning.

- Aren't you even going to offer me a drink?

- Yes, if you don't mind instant coffee.

Coffee? What are you

trying to do, corrupt me?

- The phone's by the bed.

- Nice and handy to call for help.

So far, I haven't

had to call for help.

That's your fault or his?

- There doesn't happen to be a "his".

- I'm not surprised.

And what exactly does that mean?

Well, If they all get the

same treatment that I got...

You happened to walk in at

the end of a black Monday.

What about a foggy Sunday?

Come on, now, Pete.

We're too old for...

I'm not too old.

I said you could use

the phone, and that's all.

Oh, come on now, Jeannie.

What do you want, a slow build-up?

Hot hands at the movies?

Knee troubles at a coffee bar?

This seems to be where we came in.

Do me a favour, just use the phone and go.

Lady says you gotta go, you gotta go.

You don't dial. The porter gets it.

I'm sorry, Jeannie.

You're a case,

Pete Stenning, a real case.

Yep, that's me, "Knock 'em down,

drag 'em out Pete Stenning,

"the battered caveman."

Fleet Street 8000, please.

What is this "look at me,

I'm so tough" act?

Oh, I am tough, Jeannie.

Tough and chewed up.

- Not the way you drink.

- Bill Maguire.

Alcoholics take it because they can't

take it. I read that in The Guardian.

What do you know about me and drink?

It's in the Met Centre

facts of life file.

Dogs bark, cats meow

and Stenning drinks.

- Yeah?

- Bill, this is Pete.

I'll make the coffee.

Yeah, we seem fated

to be apart, don't we?

As soon as I can.

Stupidly, I forgot to pack

my radar kit this morning.

Half the boys have been caught

short, so you won't be missed.

What's your number there, in case?

How long will you be there?

Well, just as long as it takes to make

and drink a cup of instant coffee.

Yes, coffee. No, it's not a pub.

More a sort of a club, really.

Jeannie's Club.

Yes. I am a temporary

dis-honourary member.

You wanna watch that coffee kick,

before you know it you'll be

joining Caffeine's Anonymous.

What the hell kind of fog only

comes up to the fourth floor?

It knows better than to come up here.

This place is like the anteroom to hell.

It's really chaos at London

airport, Mr Maguire.

It usually is.

The question is, how do

we get home tonight?

Yes, I know. Isn't it wonderful?

And New York is still clear?

Yeah, Shannon's closing in.

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