The Dukes of Hazzard Page #4

Ain't she a Georgia peach?

What'd you do,

make a deal with the devil?

Luke. Luke. Is that a Hemi?

Me and my buddies lose the Gettysburg

reenactment every other Sunday.

So we figured,

why not let General Lee win one?

I don't know how

we're gonna pay you back, Cooter.

Would a BJ from Daisy be within

the realm of possibility?

Not gonna happen.

How about a pair

of her still-warm shorts?

All right.

Hey, Bo, just win that Hazzard Rally.

That's thanks enough.

And when you get that prize money, you

pay me, because that's how it works.

I love you, Cooter.

- I didn't have time to fix everything.

- Right.

Let's get that car.

Get in your cars and get them!

Get after them! Now!

Cooter!

All right.

That's so good, man.

Enough.

Man, I'm never gonna get out

of this car again. I'm gonna live in it.

I'm gonna eat in it.

And I'm gonna make sweet love to it.

You mean you gonna make

sweet love in it.

Oh, no, I wanna f*** it.

All units, we are in hot pursuit

of them Duke boys...

...in their piece-of-sh*t orange car.

"Piece of... " You son of a b*tch.

Hey! Get back here!

- Lost Sheep, you out there?

- Hey, Cooter.

These fellas ain't gonna be

doing much chasing.

- Thanks, man.

- I'm gonna run right over Billy Prickett.

How about we go to Atlanta first?

All right, cuz.

Oh, look at that.

There's your problem right there.

Yeah, that's a shame.

Let's go to Atlanta.

Luke.

Luke.

I know why it didn't work out with

me and Katie before. It was just timing.

Life is all about timing, you know?

It's my time now.

I'm gonna win that race on Saturday.

We're gonna get the farm back.

I got my BFF, you.

And I'm gonna get Katie Johnson,

you watch.

It's my time.

What's going on?

Yeah, baby!

Southern by the grace of God!

Well, at least we know

they're nice up here.

Hurry up, you're late

for your Klan meeting, a**hole.

- Klan meeting?

- Don't listen to her.

The South will rise again.

Yee-haw, brother!

What the hell's wrong

with these people?

Nice roof, redneck.

Join us in the 21st century?

We're gonna make

some friends up here, huh?

Oh, excuse me.

Can I help you, ma'am?

Daisy! Oh, boy.

Enos, what's Boss doing

taking all that land?

I don't know. They won't tell me. You

gotta go. I'm supposed to arrest you.

- Come on, I'm serious.

- Get. Get out of here.

Hey. You Anus?

No, that's Enos, Mr. Prickett.

Sorry about that. Is Hogg around?

He asked me to come by.

Oh, yeah. He's out back

in the garage, Mr. Prickett.

Well, howdy, ma'am.

How are you today?

It's just right on out back there.

I'll show you.

Yep, head out that way.

There you go.

There he is.

- Hometown hero.

- Hogg.

- How you doing, son?

- Well...

...this is a great place to crap,

but I'm ready to head to Atlanta.

Not before the race.

Don't you worry about that.

I want you down at that finish line.

Sign autographs for the kids.

- Yeah, I know the drill.

- I know you do.

But I need you there for two hours, son.

Two hours.

Kissing hands and shaking babies.

You got that backwards.

It's shaking hands and kiss the babies.

Oh, yeah? Maybe that's why I lost

that governor's election in '86.

Hogg, what the hell am I doing here?

Rosco.

Whoa, what is this?

You off the reservation?

See how it kind of catches me

around the eyes there?

Look here, I already got sponsors.

What am I supposed

to tell Castrol, Yahoo!?

Tell them it's for charity.

- Is it?

- Sure. Could be.

Whatever you say.

I'm gonna win that race by a mile.

It don't matter whose face

is on my car when I do.

I don't need you to win the race.

I just need you to show up.

Hey there, Mr. Prickett.

Well, hello, Daisy.

I was just walking by, and I saw your car

in the garage there. She's real sexy.

Well, thank you.

She's faster than a cheetah on cocaine.

Yeah, I know.

Why is there a picture of Boss Hogg

on your car, though?

- Yeah, well, he...

- I read somewhere...

...that Coca-Cola pays you over

$ 100,000 to put their logo on your door.

- You read that?

- That same article...

...mentioned that Budweiser

pays you over $ 100,000...

...to put their logo on your trunk.

- Look, Daisy...

...I'm not much of a reader.

- Boss Hogg's face is sitting...

...on over $200,000 worth

of real estate.

Is that what he's paying you?

Oh, no, no, Daisy,

this race here is for charity.

Really? Which one?

Anal bifida.

Spinal bifida.

It's one of the bifidas.

Have I told you that you're as purty

as a Hazzard County sunset?

Have a good day, Mr. Prickett.

Okay.

Lot of smart people out there.

Look out, Katie.

Hello. Hi.

- Hello.

- Hello.

- Oh, boy.

- Hi.

You don't think it's too late

to take them SATs, do you?

You gotta keep an open mind

in college.

This is it, Luke. I can feel it.

Hey, do you know

where Katie Johnson is?

I think she's in that room right there.

- Thanks.

- Thank you.

- I got a great opening line for Katie.

- What is it?

You'll see.

- Katie Johnson?

- She's down the hall.

- Cool.

- Come on, down the hall.

Katie Johnson?

- She's down the hall.

- Do you guys go to school here?

No, but do you have an application?

Not on me.

Come on, now, focus.

Let's hope she's not in here either.

- Katie Johnson?

- F*** me running!

- You looking for Katie?

- We were.

- You guys Hacky?

- Hacky!

- What about Katie?

- Maybe she's in here.

Goodbye, Bo. Bye, Luke.

I guess she wasn't in there.

- We didn't check under the couch.

- Luke! Bo!

- Katie.

- Katie-Lynn.

So he's still doing that?

- Did I just faint?

- No.

Oh, my God. I can't believe y'all came.

We just wanna pay you visit,

the prettiest girl in Atlanta.

What?

We just wanna pay a visit

to the prettiest girl in Atlanta.

That's sweet. I can't believe

what happened to y'all's farm.

We're gonna get it back.

I love that farm.

I used to have so much fun there.

- See?

- This is my roommate, Annette.

- Annette, this is Bo and Luke.

- Nice to meet you.

- Ma'am.

- Annette's from Australia.

Let's put another shrimp

on the barbie!

- That's what they say there.

- Okay.

What do y'all need

in the geology lab?

It has something to do

with them taking our farm...

...but we don't know

what the hell it is.

I don't know that they'll let y'all in,

but we'll take you.

- We'll get dressed. Y'all wait downstairs.

- We're gonna wait here.

Downstairs is fine.

It's happening, Luke.

It's all happening.

I'll give you that, Jesse.

- I'll give you that.

- Will you now?

What are you doing with my land,

Jefferson?

Ain't your land anymore.

Wasn't that long ago you was

a moonshiner too. Remember?

Well, I have reformed from my sins.

I am now an honest businessman.

Like sponsoring racecars?

What are you getting out of bringing

Billy Prickett down here?

You know, your nephew's won that race

four years in a row.

Now, who's gonna fault me

for breaking up a dynasty?

Well, I know you're rich,

and I know you stink.

But you ain't stinking rich.

You wouldn't be throwing

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote