The Egg and I Page #6

- Got your water tank up.

- Be havin' running water any minute now.

- Oh, thanks.

- That'll be a relief.

- Never see the sense of running water in the house.

Rather get mine straight out of

the ground where the good Lord put it.

I don't hold with too much water anyhow.

Rusts the bones.

Well, I'll chance it.

Thank you, goodbye.

Mighty fine of you to make me

that dress, honey. I appreciate it.

I got the best of the trade.

It doesn't hold a candle to your quilt.

- See you at the party tonight!

- You bet.

- Hello there!

- Hello!

- Oh, hello.

- Hiya, kids!

- How do I look? Hey! Get out of there.

- Perfect!

- Don't you folks want something to eat?

- Not just now.

I always brings my own vittles to these

shindigs. Don't like strangers feeding us.

Now where'd he disappear to?

William!

What are ya doin' up there?

Didn't I tell you to behave?

- We'll see you later.

- Hey!

- Oh, sorry.

- Well, greetings. Isn't this quaint?

- You remember Mr Henty?

- Oh, yes, we've met.

I've been working on Mr Henty

to give you that egg contract.

- I've got him practically to the signing point.

- Oh?

A recommendation from

Mrs Putnam goes a long way.

Of course, we're not taking on

any new obligations these days.

Don't worry, it's in the bag.

- Quite a character.

- Yes, isn't he?

- I mean her.

- Oh, she's all right.

Mighty nice of her to go to all that trouble.

Could sure use that contract.

- Hello!

- Oh, hello. How do you feel?

- Terrible. This is my doctor.

- This is my husband.

Big, isn't he?

- Who was that?

- Mrs Hicks' mother. She's an invalid.

Doing all right for an invalid.

- Oh, no.

- Oh, I'm sorry. We were just...

- Oh, my heavens.

- Oh, I'm sorry, Mr Henty.

- We were just...

- Never mind!

I'll wipe it myself.

There goes the egg contract.

You're not helping much.

I'll see what I can do.

Oh.

You shouldn't have done that to Mr Henty.

He's a very fine man and a leading citizen.

- We didn't do it on purpose.

- One thing we don't stand for at these affairs...

and that's roughhouse.

- If you want to stay here, you'd better behave.

- I'll keep an eye on him.

- See that you do.

- Here, try one of these.

- They look delicious.

- They ought to. Don't you recognize her?

- Oh! You mean it's...

- It's Cleopatra.

It's our donation. What's the matter?

Aren't you going to eat it?

What do you think I am,

a cannibal?

- Well! Glad to see ya.

- Hello, Pa.

- What'll it be?

- Oh, some of the same.

Got somethin'

a little better than the same.

Just, uh,

try that for size.

Made it myself. Fresh out of the still

this afternoon. None of that old stuff.

- Is my head still on?

- I can't see it anyplace.

- Oh, Bob.

- Yipe.

- Are you took?

- What?

- Are you took?

- He wants to dance.

I'm sorry, I'm engaged.

Betty, at affairs like this you're supposed

to dance with anybody that asks you.

- Otherwise they'll say you're a snob.

- Are you ready?

Ah. Yes.

Betty doesn't seem to be able to find

a partner that fits her.

- I better rescue her.

- Get me a cold drink first, please.

- I'm dying of thirst.

- Well...

I certainly had a hard time getting to you.

You're the most popular girl.

It's an honour

I'd gladly give up.

I've been pushed and pulled around this floor.

I don't know whether I'm coming or going.

You wouldn't like to sit this one out,

would you, and give my feet a rest?

Oh, sure, I'll get you

something to drink.

- May I?

- Oh, must you? Couldn't you some other time?

"Never put off until tomorrow

what you can do today,"

Billy Reed's motto

in work or play.

- Think we could slow down a bit?

- Follow the lead with Billy Reed.

If I have any feet left.

Oh, thank heavens.

- Don't you ever get tired?

- Vitamin pills.

- Yeah, I know, you sell them.

- Greatest little item I handle.

I don't want any. I'd rather wear out

in my own way.

I've got to get out of here

while I can still walk.

I admire you tremendously.

You're one in a million.

- Greatest sales resistance I ever met up with.

- Oh, thanks.

- It's no effort at all.

- Try and resist if you can, but Billy Reed will get his man.

But I'm not a man.

- How's this?

- Fine.

Ah, Bob, can't we talk

about something besides chickens?

- All right, what'll it be?

- What about you?

- Do you like your farm?

- Oh, sure.

And, Betty, does she like

being a farmer's wife?

She likes it fine.

It was rough at first.

But she's getting

used to it.

Men are such fools about women.

They invariably marry the wrong one.

- I wouldn't say that.

- All my husbands did.

- Oh, Bob, darling, are you hurt?

- No, but...

Party's getting rough.

I think we better go in.

- Harriet, would you excuse me?

- Of course. See you later.

Getting some air?

How long have you

been out here?

I just came out this minute.

It was awfully hot in there.

- Having a good time?

- Somebody hit me on the head with this shoe.

- No. What for?

- Just trying to be funny, I guess.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Oh, don't do that.

It's mine!

- So it was you?

- Yes, now you go right out there and get it.

- What was the idea?

- Must be over in those bushes.

- I repeat, "What was the idea?"

- I didn't mean to hit you, honest.

- I meant to hit her. Did it hurt?

- Of course it hurt!

I don't see why you don't

like Harriet; she likes you.

- She said she admires you very much.

- Now she's saying nice things.

- That's just why I don't like her...

- You're being childish.

- I am not being childish!

- Shh!

That barnyard glamour girl

is setting a trap for you.

You're just goofy

enough to fall into it.

You know, I don't like to point, but you're

beginning to make a noise like a jealous female.

- This isn't becoming.

- What does she got that I haven't got?

- Except chickens.

- For one thing, she hasn't got me...

- as you seem to think.

- It's hardly noticeable.

You're not really serious about this?

You know better.

Every time I look around

you've got your heads together.

- It's getting monotonous.

- I should think you could trust me.

- In my book, a marriage without trust doesn't amount to much.

- I trust you.

- It's Miss Dreamy-puss I don't trust.

- Thanks for the confidence.

If I had a farm like hers with running water

and plumbing and electricity...

and machines to take care of the livestock,

I'd have more time to concentrate on you too.

So it isn't me you're

jealous about, it's her farm.

I'd like to see her carry water

from the well to the house.

What do you want to do, Betty, give up?

All you have to do is say the word.

When are we going to get a farm

like that, with machines and gadgets...

- and little men all over the place doing things?

- When we've earned it.

- Did she earn it?

- That's different. With her, her farm's a hobby.

With me, it's a cause. I want to carve it

out of rock with my bare hands.

And mine, don't forget.

Just look at them.

You'd never believe they used to get

a manicure twice a week.

- Never did anything rougher than play the piano.

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