The Egg and I Page #7

- They're being a lot more useful.

- You should be very proud of them.

- I've got a great idea.

Why don't you poison me and marry her?

You'd make a wonderful husband for her.

Fine!

I like that.

We could spend our honeymoon

in the electric chair, thinking about you.

Attention, folks. Quiet, please.

Sheriff Drum is here to make

a very important announcement.

We better go see what's up.

But what about my shoe?

I don't like interruptin',

but we've got trouble.

- Is Pa Kettle here?

- Right over this way, sir.

- Pa, you better get home. Your barn's on fire.

- Jehoshaphat.

I told you that still of yours would

blow up someday, and by golly, it did!

- Ma!

- We're comin', Pa! Tom!

Here, Ma!

That ain't all, folks.

A westerly wind blew up and carried

the flames to the woods just beyond.

Now, we've got a man-sized forest fire

on our hands, moving up the whole valley.

We did the best we could,

but it sort of got out of hand.

I suggest all you folks that have

homes up in that district...

- that you get along.

- Come on, Betty.

We can use all the volunteers

that we can get.

Looks pretty bad. We better

wet down the barn and chicken houses.

I'll get a shoe.

Lucky we built this tank. It'll give us

enough pressure to do some good.

Take it up to the barn.

We'll start on that first.

- Don't let it kink.

- No. Okay.

Here it comes.

Oh, Bob, look out!

Well, that's that. I guess

Pa can't build tanks either.

We could carry pails

of water from the well.

No, we couldn't do it

fast enough to do any good.

- You better get back to the house and start packing.

- Packing?

If the wind changes, we're a cooked goose.

We'd better be ready.

- I'll go get the animals out.

- Oh, Bob.

- Don't worry, honey. We'll manage.

- Sure we will.

- Wind's changin'!

- Comin' from the east!

- Headin' this way!

- Only thing can save you now is for it to rain.

- Doesn't look like it's going to.

- I better get back to the house.

- Sorry about that still.

- Couldn't be helped.

No use doing anything more here, men.

Thanks for your help anyway.

Get!

Bob!

- Are you all right?

- Yeah, I'm all right.

- How is it?

- The wind shifted. If it doesn't rain, we'll be burned out.

- Do you think it will rain?

- Doesn't look like it.

It'll be the only time it hasn't.

We better finish packing,

get the truck loaded.

- Well, not very pretty, is it?

- It's awful.

Anyway it rained

before the house burned.

Something to be

thankful for.

Betty, this is it.

We're finished.

I wonder if Saddle, Finch, Tanner,

Pease and Stuck will take me back.

Not in

those clothes.

I'll have to dig out

the double-breasted with a pinstripe.

I think you look handsome

in the double-breasted with a pinstripe.

Certainly going to take a lot of building

to get this place going again.

Yeah, new barn,

new chicken house, new pigpen.

Plant a new orchard.

Gonna be a lot of work for somebody.

- When do we begin?

- "We"?

- I don't know who else, do you?

- Betty, you're crazy.

- I know when I'm licked.

- Just on account of a little fire?

What's the matter with you?

They built up Chicago after the fire.

And San Francisco.

If they can build up a couple of cities...

we ought to be able

to build up a chicken farm.

You mean you want to,

really?

- I want to, really.

- I don't want to quit either.

I'd never feel right about it.

I was just thinking about you.

- We're not going to quit.

- Oh, Betty.

I think you've outgrown

the double-breasted pinstripe anyway.

If that's Harriet Putnam, all I can say is,

she picked the wrong day!

No, it sounds like

something's up.

You got yourselves pretty well

burned out last night.

Livestock, buildings,

crops, most everything.

There's hardly one of us that hasn't

got more than he can use at this time.

So, we've gotten together to give you

whatever might be necessary to get you started.

I don't want you young people to think

we've come here with charity.

Nothing of the sort.

You took a bad beating

last night. No denying that.

But you're not the first,

and you won't be the last.

We know that you're not foolish enough to

be feelin'sorry for yourselves this morning.

We've all had our share of troubles,

everybody that you see gathered here.

If it wasn't fire,

it was something else.

Sickness, death,

bad crops, one thing or another.

But that's the Lord's way.

I guess He knows what He's doing.

Now, folks, I'm gonna call

your names off of this list.

I want you to reply and tell me

what you're going to give...

what your donation is.

Whether it's a couple of days

work or a jar of preserves.

Whatever it may be,

just speak right up. Mr Henty?

A two-year contract for

their entire output of eggs...

and a cash advance...

reasonable, of course.

- Mrs Putnam?

- One dozen Speckled Sussex hens.

Mr and Mrs Asa Pettigrew?

Two suckling pigs

and corn to feed 'em!

Jake Burnheimer and wife?

Six bags of assorted seed

and the loan of my tractor.

- The Burlaga family?

- Four Rhode Island layers and a rooster too.

- Ma and Pa Kettle?

- Nine two-by-fours...

- three pounds of nails, hammer and a saw...

- And a quart of green paint.

And a quart of green paint.

Hey, Betty, hurry up.

Here I am!

All right, I'm coming.

- Just want to get there before the crowd.

- Yeah.

- I've never been to a county fair before.

- You haven't lived.

I'll never get a chance to if Ma Kettle finds

out I entered her quilt in the competition.

Come on, folks!

Hawaiian dancers from

the island of Hawaii!

Hereford, shown by the Bella Vista Farm.

Beautiful animal. That's Harriet's.

Quite a family resemblance,

don't you think?

- Hello!

- Hello, Ma.

- You two having yourselves a good time?

- Yes!

- Winning any prizes? - Not me. I

ain't entered and I ain't a-winnin'.

- Birdie Hicks just took the prize for her preserves.

- Oh.

Head judge is her cousin.

- Is he head judge of everything?

- If he ain't, some other cousin is.

There's a Hicks everywhere. Can't

fall down without landing on a Hicks.

- You staying here, or you want to look around?

- Sure.

My brood's scattered. Pa lit out

and I ain't seen hide nor hair of him.

I think I'll go with Ma.

I'm tired of cows, even Harriet's.

- I'll catch you later, huh?

- Okay.

Hereford, three years old...

- Bob!

- Hello. Isn't this fun?

- It certainly is.

- Who's going to win?

- I don't know. You're showing some mighty fine stock.

- Bonny Chance is a beauty, isn't she?

- You bet.

Come along to my box with me

and hold my hand. I'm so excited.

Are you having fun?

I ain't had so much fun since our Bessy

had a two-headed calf.

- Ma, can I have a nickel?

- Elly, don't muss me.

I give you a nickel a little while ago, didn't

I? Don't leap on this while it's a-goin'.

- You want to get killed?

- I'm not Elly, Ma. I'm Sally.

- You give Elly a nickel.

- Oh, so you are.

Land of Goshen, I thought you was Elly.

I'll give you a nickel.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes