The Extendables Page #4

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I think he has color issues,

what's the whole thing

with getting all the yellow

jellybeans taken out?

Maybe he does not like lemon.

No, I think he has color issues.

I think that's least of issues.

Well, that may be.

Hmm.

What happened to you?

You used to be my best friend.

Johnny doesn't come

out and play anymore.

Uh, that's better.

Hi, girls.

Oh look, she has a

bottom like a little boy's.

Space Cowboy by Matt Long

I love you.

10, no 15 minutes.

Then they will respect me!

Somebody needs to cum.

Let me.

Are you recording this?

Maybe.

The rockets are falling!

That's a wrap!

I had to work with VD.

I am idiot!

Schmuck!

We have to be out

of here by midnight.

We still have three

days' work left.

Emily, get him out

of his trailer.

Do whatever it takes.

Just pretend that

you're at the beach!

I want speak, to Mr. VD.

The great VD.

I made it work.

I've got VD's lines

in this script.

And it works.

Okay.

Uh, we have to

cut 10 more pages.

10 pages?

Yes, yes.

Okay.

Is that enough?

Oh wait that's only seven?

Does that work for you?

Oh, Ray.

No no no, Ray, that's

not what I mean.

What if the bad guy

falls to his death?

Trips and falls.

By, by himself?

Yes.

It, it's logical, people

trip and fall all the time.

No final fight scene,

no dialog, no, no, no swords?

No, no.

Just uh, trips, and falls.

Like life.

Life!

Well why don't we just

have them kiss and make up?

They could walk

out holding hands.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to

rape and kill your sister,

it was an accident.

Oh, that's okay because I

live my life out of love now

and I want you to know

that I love you too.

I forgive you!

Okay.

The bad guy and our

hero could become the

poster children for

anger management.

If we can make it

work, you can, too!

Okay, I get point.

Burton, thanks

for the job, really.

But I'm done.

I wish you luck.

Goodbye.

Yah!

Hewwo.

I'm almost feeling sorry

for cards dealting to Burton.

He put everything

to this picture.

Yeah, what an idiot.

Well, VD's pictures

still make money.

Not in America.

Did you know that his name,

VD, in America is actually

a sexually transmitted disease?

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah I think it's

how you say it in Europe,

the whole W, V, Wagner, Vagner...

Wagner, Vagner.

Yeah.

You know Emily, last time

you were very angry with me.

I sent you flowers,

chocolates, candy, wine.

And I even wrote you a poem

and you did not respond to me

and it's my dying wish that

I have the key to your heart.

I do not have the key,

I cannot find the key.

And I just, I, I love you,

Emily and I, I want your love.

You want see my...

Tits?

Yes.

Then you go set!

Work!

Yes.

No picture.

Oh Emily, you know I

have to have a picture.

No.

Oh, I'm kind of

sleepy now, I have to,

I think I have to take a nap.

Whoa.

Wait!

She'll be back.

Emily?

What happened?

I am virgin.

He doesn't want your virginity.

He wants take picture.

Cover your face.

No!

1,000 Euro!

2,000!

Two?

Thousand Euro?

Yes.

3,000 Euro me,

3,000 more my family.

Ah, Emily.

Emily.

You are so beautiful.

No flower or the things that

pop up out of the ground

in the spring can

equal your beauty.

I, I love you.

I do.

Thank you Emily, at last

my mirror is complete.

You will never forget this.

You come!

Almost, almost.

Am I such a bad boy?

My mommy, she breastfed

me, I love breasts.

There is nothing

in the world that

a good breast suck can't cure.

Am I such a bad boy?

Okay, umm, checklist.

Let's take it from where

Maria doinks me on the head

with the little

aluminum missile.

You know, maybe

instead of hitting you,

I could help you.

What are you going to do

if a woman doesn't have a gun?

You going to, blow

kisses at him?

Maybe you beat him up with

your batting of the eyelashes?

Huh?

Is that what it is?

You know, I get great

idea for your character

and you want to change it?

Is that it?

You want to be the director?

Is that it?

Sure, yeah this

will be fun, yeah!

We bring in all the helpless

girls and the great VD

can come and rescue them.

What are you doing?

Directing.

You, get off my set, stupido!

Get out of here!

You are stupido!

If only implants were brains,

then you could be Einstein.

And then, you could direct.

Yes?

Get off my set!

I fire you!

Women!

It's still hard

to believe they're

not getting bad boy clause.

Unbelievable

with his reputation.

And!

I hear he gets to choose

his own call time.

Who you have to f***,

choosing own call time?

Producer.

Oh, no no no no, I mean in life?

Being dealting these cards?

That'd be the

dealer, the dealer.

Yeah.

The dealer, the

dealer, the f***ing dealer.

The f***ing dealer.

VD I'm sorry, we cannot fly you,

we just don't have the time.

Mr Producer, you

will make the time.

No no no no, we must

shoot the fight scene as is.

Mm-hmm, as fight choreographer,

you shoot the fight

the way I say it

is in my contract.

You are the director and

the fight choreographer, but

you aren't the set designer.

As the fight choreographer,

the next part of the fight

is in the air, is what I say,

you cheap Euro producer, huh!

Hey!

You can't spend

5 Euro on a stunt?

Huh, I'll tell you

what, you take this,

you go hock it for 10 Euro,

and you build us a f***ing set!

Huh, what is this piece of sh*t?

What is it, cardboard?

No, it's paper.

You give me

5,000,000 Euro, yeah?

You tell me this is

10,000,000 Euro movie.

Where's the other 5,000,00, huh?

What did this cost?

Oh, one Euro?

Huh?

I show you what I

think of your set, huh?

Oh, oh oh, precious

set, I love you.

Uh, ow, ow ow!

Sh*t sh*t sh*t!

My toe, get away from me!

Get away from me.

Finished... set... I

am not finished!

Huh?

Take that you stupid set!

Uh!

I showing you, you f***ing set!

Ha ha ha ha.

Ow!

Sh*t.

I think I am stuck.

Hello?

Where's my grippers?

That is whack.

Uh, I'm over here you

know, hey, like uh, hey!

Hey, I'm over here.

In here, hello?

I'm in the rock!

Video, come on,

Help me.

Excuse me?

What's happening out there?

Da, except I

don't speak Russian!

I know you want to help.

Keep the producer away from me.

Keep him away from my butt.

Harry, are you awake?

I had to call and let you

know that he's stoned,

he's drunk, he's high,

he's wielding a knife,

I could get killed right

now, he's so psycho.

He's just rammed his head

into a fiberglass rock.

That's better!

Can I say it?

- No, is... no.

- I'm going to.

Okay, go ahead.

D*ckhead!

Shouldn't you be

out there giving him a hand?

So you're

sending me back to the hotel

until you have ironclad

assurances that I do not

have to do battle

with um, a person

who is on drugs and alcohol.

Harry, wake up Harry.

Come on.

You have no idea!

There's a psychopath on the

loose wielding lethal weapons.

You're supposed to be my agent,

standing in front of

me and protecting me.

AHHH!

Here you are, off in America,

in a nice warm bed, and here

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