The Fluffy Movie: Unity Through Laughter Page #7

Synopsis: A comedy concert film that captures the on-stage performance and inspirational success story of Gabriel "Fluffy" Iglesias.
Genre: Comedy
Production: Open Road Films
 
IMDB:
7.2
Metacritic:
56
Rotten Tomatoes:
53%
PG-13
Year:
2014
101 min
$2,820,939
Website
776 Views


So I go, "Sir, if you

don't have a seat,

"we're gonna have a problem,

especially if you call me 'fat man' again.

And he freakin' did it.

"What are you gonna do, fat man?

What do we drink?"

Even Martin, who's

behind the curtain, knew.

He knows when I'm at that point

where I've crossed over.

I can hear him in the back.

"Don't do it!"

Too late, Fluffy's pissed.

So, I said, "You wanna

know what you drink?"

"Tell me!" Don't ask me

where this came from.

I got right in his face and

I said, "Blood of Jews!"

Now, see, automatically you guys

gave me a whole different reaction.

In Delhi that was probably the most

shocking thing ever

said on that stage.

So shocking that 2,000 people

at the exact same time

got so quiet, you guys, so quiet,

you could hear everyone's ass just...

And I'm still standing there,

and my hand's out.

Have you ever said

something that was so bad,

And I mean you knew it was bad as

it was coming out of your mouth?

And you're trying to

stop it but it's too late,

it's already out,

and you're like, "No!"

And it's too late. "Blood of Jews"

is all over his face, right?

I'm standing there and my hand's out,

I'm looking at him, he's looking at me,

and I'm like...

He says, "That's a good one!

Ja, that's a good one!"

"Oh, my God, thank you! Thank you!"

It doesn't end there.

I'm telling you guys,

this is so crazy.

So, next morning,

Martin and I are flying

back home to Los Angeles from Delhi.

We're taking an airline

called British Airways.

We go from Delhi to London, England,

and we have a connecting

flight over there.

Once we get to England, they canceled

our connect for whatever reason.

And so we got rebooked on

another airline called Lufthansa.

It's a German airline.

Now, this is why I believe in karma.

Seriously, Martin's like, "Really,

'blood of Jews'?" I'm like, "I know!"

I felt like they phoned ahead.

"Und take care of Fluffy."

So I put down my credit card,

I made sure that Martin and I got

upgraded to at least their business class,

'cause it's like a long flight,

and so we're in there, we're on

the plane and the plane takes off.

About 20 minutes into the flight,

we're just sitting there, we're laughing,

and the flight attendant, she starts coming

down the aisle with the little cart.

And she's coming down the aisle

and she sees me, and she goes,

"Hello, sir. Do you have a

preferred drink of choice today?"

Martin looks at me, taps me

in the chest, and he goes,

"Hey! Tell her!

"Tell her, bro! "Come on, ask for it.

If anybody has it..."

"Dude, shut up!"

And then she looks at Martin.

"Sir, do you have a

preferred drink of choice?"

And Martin's like, "Yeah,

do you guys got blood of..."

She's like, "Bloody Mary?"

"Yes. Yes, Bloody Mary."

Freakin' "Machete's" gonna

get me banned from flying.

So we make it back home.

I'm trying to tell the story

to my girlfriend and my son,

and my girl, she's barely laughing.

She's like...

Like, she's jaded. She doesn't

laugh at my jokes anymore.

My son Frankie, on the

other hand, he is dying.

And I'm like, "Really?"

He's 16 years old.

I go, "Really, Frankie,

you thought that was funny?"

He goes, "Yeah. That's funny!" I go,

"What was so funny about my story?"

He goes, "Those people

you're talking about."

I go, "Who, the Indians?"

He goes, "No, the other ones."

I go, "The Germans?"

He goes, "Yeah, it's funny."

I go, "What's so funny

about the Germans?"

"The way that they speak."

I go, "What's so funny about

the way that they speak?"

He goes, "They sound like the Three

Little Pigs from the movie Shrek!"

I had to go on YouTube

and freakin' find it,

and sure enough, all Three Little Pigs,

"Und ja! Hello, Shrek!"

I was just waiting for one

of them to go, "Fat man!"

By the way, since my last special,

I gotta tell you something

about my son Frankie.

He now, now, wears deodorant.

Now for the rest of you

that are watching right now,

wondering, "What is

he talking about?"

And the people watching

the movie, going,

"I don't get this," let me explain.

In my last special, I made

reference to my son Frankie

and how he refuses to

regularly put deodorant on.

And so I told him,

"If you don't start doing it,

"I'm going put your business on TV,

"and your friends are going

to see me talking about you,

"and they're going to

check you for me."

Sure enough, my last special airs.

The next day, Frankie goes to school,

and those kids were merciless.

He came home.

He takes off his backpack.

He unzips it, and he dumps out,

like, 17 deodorants.

"See what you did!"

I was like, "Wow, look at all

the money we just saved."

His mom was impressed.

She was like, "Talk about

how he needs towels."

Hell, yeah. He's going to get towels.

And it's funny, because,

you know, for me to relate to my son,

it's a little challenging, you guys.

It's not that I can't relate

to a teenager, because I can.

I can relate to almost any age.

You know, I got people that

brought kids here tonight.

The problem is, is that my son

doesn't see me as an entertainer.

He sees me as the guy that

tells him to take a shower,

put on deodorant, you know,

"Stop picking your nose," That's me.

His friends, on the other hand,

I'm like a god to his friends.

Every time I drop off Frankie at

school now, I pull up, you know.

The kids see my car.

They freak out,

and they run over to it,

and they put their hands

on it like it's a shrine.

They touch the car like freaking,

"Selena estaqu," you know?

Some of you got that. Gracias.

Anyway...

Then the kids start shaking

my car side to side, chanting,

"Fluffy. Fluffy. Fluffy."

And Frankie's in the front

seat pissed. He's pissed.

He's like, "This is bullshit."

I'm like, "Hey, dude,

don't get mad at me,

"cause I'm more popular than you

at your school." Little hater.

He gets out of the car all mad.

They're still chanting.

"Fluffy, Fluffy."

The thing is, is that our

worlds are very different.

His world revolves around

Grand Theft Auto, the video game,

YouTube and girls.

He's really good at two of those.

The other one, not so much.

And it's not that I'm trying

to be a hater about it.

It's just that I tell Frankie,

"Listen, you need to start

having more conversations.

"You need to become more

talkative and interact like this."

See, he'd rather text than talk.

That's his whole thing. I'm like,

"Dude, you got to learn,

you know, start...

"Talk to me! I wish you

would talk to me more.

"You could learn a lot about

talking by talking to me.

"I'm just saying, I only

do it professionally."

But, no, he'd rather text.

It's at the point now where

if I'm in the house and I yell,

"Frankie, did you

take out the trash?"

Nothing. All of a sudden...

I take out my phone.

"No."

But if I say, "I got money for you,"

freaking Houdini, right? "Oh, hello."

'Cause you can't text cash.

That's my big thing right now.

I just want him to take out the trash.

He's 16 years old now.

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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