The House Page #7

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- You caught me in a cooldown. Whoo!

What'd you put in your pocket?

Very slowly. Very slowly

with the hand, sir.

- Very slowly, take it out of your pocket.

- Okay, Officer. (CHUCKLES)

I think, earlier, you just saw

me put this phone in my pocket,

which is now videotaping you.

I don't feel safe, I don't feel safe.

I am Frank Theodorakis.

I don't feel safe in the woods,

the police are harassing me.

Hello, everyone, I'm Officer Chandler,

and I'm here protecting as well as serving.

What are you, like, doing a PSA?

Well, if you're filming this.

Look at you, you put your

hands on your hips immediately.

You look ridiculous.

I will end you!

I will end your life!

Whoa! Whoa, man!

I'm sorry that I said that, everyone,

and I...

am gonna...

What's that? I'm gonna

respond to this call.

What call? Nothing happened.

It didn't say anything.

There's a disturbance in the force.

There's a disturbance in the police force.

(GASPS)

- (SHRIEKS)

- Dad.

What...

Dad, it's just...

It's just, it's good... Dad!

Don't touch 'em!

Hey, did you see the game?

(YELLS)

Stay away from the meat section!

FRANK:
Hey, there you are.

Everybody's looking for you

downstairs. What's going on?

- Hey.

- Hey.

- So many buttholes, so little time, huh?

- Yeah.

You okay, man? You seem a little off today.

(SIGHS) I don't know.

Something's changed, Frank.

I chopped a man's finger off.

And ever since that moment,

I've just been barraged

with a series of

anxiety-induced hallucinations.

They're hallucinations. They're not real.

You know what is real?

This is real.

This is real.

This is real.

And this is real.

And do you know where

all that money came from?

- Hmm.

- From you.

You chopped that guy's finger off,

and the whole town became afraid.

- You know what they're calling you on the street?

- Uh-uh.

The Butcher.

They're so afraid of us,

people are starting to give us

the money they owe us. (CHUCKLES)

I didn't know people owed us money.

Oh, I've been extending lines of credit

to all of our high rollers.

All the casinos do it. It's not a big deal.

Frank, you didn't tell me that.

And that's a huge decision.

You need to let Kate

and I be a part of that.

It's a moot point now, okay? It's done.

Everybody's afraid that

you're gonna take them into the garage

and chop some piece of

their body off. All right?

"The Butcher" is our identity.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

- Come on in.

- Hey.

- Hey, Reggie.

- Do you guys mind if I...

- Come on in, Reggie.

- REGGIE:
Okay.

Hi, uh, Frank. Scott.

Here's that...

Here's that money I owe

you. I'm sorry it's so late.

- Reggie, don't worry about it. It's fine.

- FRANK:
Hey.

- You sure about that, Butcher? You happy about that?

- I mean,

don't let it happen again.

Yeah, you b*tch!

You little b*tch!

Hey, Butch, you want me to go get your axe?

Yeah, so I can cut me

off a piece of b*tch meat.

No, I don't want the axe.

Hey, Frank, this feels

a little light to me.

Uh-oh. Reggie, is everything

you owe us in there?

- I counted it myself.

- Maybe I should count it.

Oh. Are you gonna count

it? I don't think...

- FRANK:
Oh.

- REGGIE:
Uh-oh.

Are you okay?

- I'll handle the counting.

- Okay.

- Get out of here, Reggie!

- Okay.

- Tell your friends what you saw here, Reggie.

- Sorry.

- (DOOR CLOSES)

- That was amazing!

Did you see how scared he got?

Yeah! How did that feel?

- It felt good.

- Yeah.

Yeah, it felt real good.

Hello, Gary.

I understand you have

an overdue library book.

(GARY GROANING)

No! No!

This is for the Gz,

and this is for the hustlas

KATE:
Come here. Come here.

FRANK:
Pay your debts!

FRANK:
Get out of the way!

SCOTT:
Hi, Crystal!

Now let me drop

some more of them keys

It's 19-9-tre

so let me just play

- Where's our money?

- Give it to us!

- FRANK:
You piece of sh*t!

- Give us the money!

No, no, no.

(GROANING)

(GRUNTS)

I'm all about the

chronic Bionic ya see

- I'm tired of asking you, Eddie!

- Eat it!

Give us the money, Eddie!

You don't wanna do this, Eddie!

Ya f*** with us

we gots to f*** you up

This is for the Gz and

this is for the hustlas

- This is for the hustlas, now back to the Gz

- (HORN HONKING)

This is for the Gz and

this is for the hustlas

FRANK:
Get out of here!

Just walk away, Angela!

Come creepin' through

the fog with my saggin' Deuce

East Side, Long Beach

in a '78 Coupe DeVille

I'm rollin with the G

Funk, bumpin' in my sh*t...

I'm the Butcher.

And I'm the Burner.

Why are you guys talking

like that? Really low?

'Cause we're cool now.

Get on board.

Okay. This is what we're doing from now on.

KATE:
It's weird when you do it.

SCOTT:
You sound like Cookie Monster.

FRANK:
Well, Cookie Monster

wants some motherfuckin' lobster.

Life is but a dream

It's what you make it

Always try to give

Don't ever take it

Life has its music

Life has it's songs...

ALL:
Oh! (LAUGHING)

Madam Treasurer, there's

something for you to sign.

Aw, it's really nice.

I can't accept that.

How would I explain that to my husband?

You can tell your husband

that you're in love with me

and that we're gonna be together.

This is getting out of control, okay?

Yeah, it is.

At first, it was, like, you

know, gifts and trips and things,

but I didn't know where

the money was coming from.

It was coming from me.

Yeah, but you took it from the town.

And that poor girl's scholarship?

Come on. Look at these

budget numbers, okay?

We are 300 grand short.

We're gonna get audited, and

we're gonna lose our jobs.

We're probably gonna go to jail, okay?

Just stop.

At first it... Stop. It was like...

Stop, stop.

Stop. Stop it.

I think, next year, when Alex is gone,

we do this every Tuesday night.

- KATE:
Yay! Cheers, team.

- Hooray!

- We look great.

- SCOTT:
We do.

- We should dress like this every night.

- Yeah.

It's been a pretty tough year for me.

And I just wanna say

thank you to both of you.

This might be the best night of my...

- What?

- What?

KATE:
(GASPS) Raina?

SCOTT:
Hey. Easy, tiger. It's okay.

We knew this day would come. Okay?

Scott, Kate, excuse me.

I'm gonna go get my wife back.

Hold on, buddy. Frank.

Frank?

Hey, pal. There's no reservations...

(GROANING)

- FRANK:
He's very strong!

- Frank!

(CROWD GASPS)

FRANK:
At least I have my dignity.

(FARTING)

I don't understand why

you're talking to me.

Go arrest that guy. He attacked me.

Mr. Theodorakis, I talked to him.

He said that you attacked him,

and then you grabbed his man bun.

What? I don't remember any of that.

Officer Chandler, what's going on here?

CHANDLER:
It's been

a hell of a night.

I've gotten multiple reports

of violence all over

town, and no one's talking.

Well, no one's talking 'cause

there's nothing to talk about, so...

(SHUSHING)

- What's your deal, Johansen?

- SCOTT:
No deal.

You got a deal, Bob?

No deal here.

Yeah.

I would advise you to put that

away. I'm a police officer.

Don't worry about it.

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