The House Bunny Page #8

No, I was just thanking Shelley.

Oh. Thank you, Shelley.

Okay, guys. Close your eyes.

This is it. We're gonna keep the Zeta house.

- Oh, my gosh.

- Go, Zeta! Go, Zeta! Go, Zeta! Go, Zeta!

Lilly, go mail the bids.

Hi.

Are you new on campus?

I don't think we've ever met.

I'm Cole. Cole Trickle.

Yes. Yes, I just transferred.

My name is Lilly.

- Hi.

- Hi.

That girl over there just

dropped these on the floor,

and she's really into that guy.

- And I don't want to interrupt her.

- Okay.

- Can you mail these out for her?

- Sure thing.

Thank you.

You should totally

mail me your number sometime.

Okay.

Just give it to me.

I have a great memory.

Where are my envelopes?

Oh, you dropped them, but I got it,

and they're gonna be mailed right out.

Oh, thank you so much.

- Okay, my number's 7-6...

- Anyways, it was great meeting you, Nelly.

Oh, but my name is Lilly, actually.

Yeah, whatever.

Bye.

Now can I see your pizzanties?

No.

I don't get it.

Why didn't anyone show up?

You guys, come here and look at this.

I'm Ashley. Come on in.

Nice to meet you guys.

You did send out the invitations,

didn't you?

Yes.

But there was this boy there.

And I never talked to a boy before.

You know?

And he distracted me. Just for a minute.

And then I saw him talking to Ashley.

And they knew each other. I could tell

by the way that they talked, and...

And...

I'm sorry.

People, all right.

That's enough. Let's go.

We're done. We're shooting Miss November,

not Miss December. Let's do this.

Give me the fog. Wind, let's go.

Music, let's go.

Let's shoot this. Miss November.

Immortality! Let's go!

All right, here we go. It's Shelley time.

Come on, Shelley, it's so hot.

Oh, yeah. Sexy.

Sell it, Shelley. Oh, my gosh.

You're gorgeous, Shelley. So hot!

Come on, work it, Shelley!

Come on, let's see some...

Shelley?

Stop. Stop the fog, Dave.

Barry, hold the wind, please.

What's wrong, babe?

You okay? You sad? Sad monkey?

I don't think I'm your Miss November.

What?

I'm sorry.

Shelley, wait. Shelley.

Shelley, come on. Shelley...

Is she serious?

Shelley! Shell-monkey!

Should we take a shower

and talk about it? Shelley!

Natalie?

Oh, my gosh. How did you find me?

Oh, just... A little bird told me.

What bird?

Marvin called us. I thought...

We didn't think you liked us anymore.

Oh, my gosh, no. I've missed you so much.

Oh, hi, girls. Oh, my gosh.

You guys look beautiful!

Oh, I've missed you guys so much.

You're the best housemother

anyone's ever had.

I'm really sorry

for what I said to you.

I know. We really miss you, Shelley.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

So, how'd the rest of rush go?

Did you guys get your pledges?

Zeta had a ton of people interested,

don't get me wrong. Thanks to you.

But nobody showed up

because Ashley stole all of our bids.

No. So the house is gone?

They'll make it official today

at the Panhellenic Council meeting

this afternoon.

So there's still a chance.

Shelley, it's too late.

I mean, I don't think there's anything

that we can do.

Natalie! Together we can do anything!

Today's meeting is tinged with sadness.

Unfortunately, not all of us will be

returning next year.

Yes, that's true. So with that said,

that brings us to our last order of business.

Stop!

Oh, dear.

We're here to save our house.

I don't know how this

big meeting stuff works, but I just...

Enough with the freak show.

What I was saying, before I was

so rudely interrupted, is that...

Hold on! Wait.

I have something to say.

Shelley, say something.

I'm allergic to erythromycin.

Oh, for God's sake, Dean Simmons.

Enough is enough. Do something.

Shelley? The council has come here today

to really finalize this, so...

No! No! This is germane to our predicament.

Oh, well, as long as it's germane.

Please continue.

Just give her a minute.

I'm allergic to erythromycin.

I took it once when I had a cold.

I was 16, and it gave me itching.

I mean, everything itched.

My legs, my arms, my earlobes.

And other stuff, too, but I can't say,

because I'm live on the air right now...

and you can't say "ass cheeks," right?

You just did.

But I said it kind of quietly, I think.

But besides the itching,

the erythromycin also made my skin glow.

It gave me, like, this glowing tan.

And I suddenly felt like another person.

Different.

Better.

Prettier, I guess.

- What's your name?

- Michelle.

Michelle.

Michelle, do you know that feeling

that I'm talking about?

Where you suddenly feel pretty...

and, next thing you know,

you feel better about yourself?

Well, that was what was happening to me.

My allergic reaction made me feel pretty...

and so I ignored all the bad side effects,

because suddenly people were talking to me...

and they were noticing me.

And even though I was itching like crazy...

it was worth it to feel accepted.

And so I couldn't wait to get a cold

so I could take my erythromycin.

But underneath that beautiful, glowing skin,

I still had that cold.

Well, that's a meteor.

The word is "Metaphor".

Can you really be that dumb?

She's not dumb.

Thank you, Natalie.

And, Mrs. Hagstrom, I meant "Meteor".

It flashes by and burns bright,

but then it disappears.

And that was what was happening to me.

The real me just disappeared.

Is anyone buying this?

I am not an expert speech-giver.

But I do know that one day,

when your looks are gone,

if everything you have is based on looks,

well, then you've got nothing.

You need your friends

and your family by your side...

to love you for who you are,

not what you look like.

At the Zeta house, our new motto is,

"Be who you are".

Because we're a family.

We're a family

that loves you on the inside.

So we need you to stand forward

and be a part of that family.

We need 30 people right now

to stand forward and pledge Zeta!

Hey, honey!

You had me at "itchy ass cheeks". I'm in.

Me too! Me too!

Me too!

- I'll be a Zeta!

- Me, too!

- Me, too.

- I'll pledge!

- Six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven!

- Me, too!

- I'll pledge!

- Twelve! Thirteen! Come on, we need 30.

- I'll do it!

- Fourteen.

- Get your hand down.

- Fifteen. Sixteen.

Seventeen, 18, 19, 20.

Excellent! Twenty-one!

- Twenty-two. Twenty-three. Come on!

- I'll be in Zeta!

- Twenty-four, 25.

- Up here! Pick me!

Twenty-six, on top.

Thank you. Twenty-seven.

New pledger, right there.

Come on, two more!

Twenty-eight, 29!

Need more. Just need one more.

Come on, everybody.

Need more. Need more. Get your hand up.

Come on! Be a Zeta.

Come on!

Come on! Come on, one more!

Just need one more Zeta.

Need more, one more. Come on!

Pound the gavel!

Why are you dragging this out?

There's nobody else! It's over.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha on you, Zetas.

Wait!

There's one more new Zeta!

No. Sorry.

Can't be a baby pledging a sorority.

You gotta be a student.

That's right!

Rules are rules. Oh, well. Bye-bye.

Time to pound that gavel.

Meeting adjourned.

Dunzo. Pound that gavel, Dean.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes