The Inspector General Page #5

worth two in the bush.

Then how do I play my roll.

With you I agree with me, you need

no longer linger.

I'll give them the fist.

Give them the wrist.

Give them the finger.

To the Town Hall.

You'll find everything in order, Your

Excellency.

- Just a moment! What was that?

-What was what?

I thought I saw something.

How do you account for this?

- There were no taxes that day, Your Excellency.

- If you put your official signature to

the books, Your Excellency.

- What is this?

- It's the very best we have Your

Excellency. We're not a very rich community.

I think I'd better not sign this, until I've...

- Until you've examined the books

more closely at the house Your Excellency.

- Yes and excellent idea.

We shall see, what we shall see.

And all I saw was this gypsy show.

The fat gypsy was selling this stuf

and his partner....

had his head on a plate.

- Who is that man?

- That His Excellency, The Inspector General.

Military Training Quarters.

Dear Yakov.

I can not stay any longer.

Love Georgi.

This is the kitchen isn't it? Well

you go right ahead, I'm just inspecting.

Fine, just fine.

- Now tell me, is there another way out?

- Out?!

- Out out.

- Oh you're not leaving Your Excellency.

I can't stay another minute. There's

another town I have to inspect.

- People are waiting. How do I get out.

- I can't believe it.

- Can't believe what? You can't

believe I have another town to inspect.

- Of course I do Your Highness.

Please don't be angry with me. I

wasn't angry. You were so kind to

me last night. I thought you would stay.

And it gave me new hope. Why the

whole village is looking to you for help.

- Yes, well I thought perhaps on my way back.

- Oh Your Excellency such

plundering and misery.

It's terrible. But you should see this

other town. They need me very badly.

- People are waiting and receptions.

- I see.

I really mustn't disappoint them.

Well, I'd better be going.

-I'm sorry you won't be more friendly.

- Friendly? Why should I be friendly?

I don't care if I hang for what I say I

think. You're as bad as the rest of them.

Worse, because you have the

power to do good and you run away.

I'll stay. I can get the organ back. lt

didn't burn, I know where it is.

- Then you do care about the people.

- Of course I do.

- The whole town will be so happy.

-I want you to be happy Lizzy.

I don't count Your Excellency. I'm

just a kitchenmaid and I'll always be one.

But that's no way to look at life.

Things can change over night.

After all I wasn't born an Inspector

General.

It just happened. Come on smile.

Reach for the moon and look for the

golden rainbow.

You will find happy times.

You'll hear a tune, that lives in the

heart of a bluebird.

And you'll find happy times.

Thought things look very dark, your

dream is not in vain.

For when do you fi nd a rainbow?

Only after rain.

So wish on the moon, and

someday, it may be tomorrow..

You will suddenly hear chimes

And you'll find your happy, happy times.

Latus, Bela, see to the carriage.

Where is everybody? Oh Your Excellency.

Just look what I found in the Brodny

library. It's the new almanac of The

Emporer's official staff.

- Emporer's official staff?

- Both histories of their families and

portraits of their celebrated families.

The portraits are very bad, very

bad. You wouldn't recognize the one of me.

-And it's terrible.

-I thought women were only vain

about their portraits.

Now I've got to see how bad they've

made you look. You know you've

never even told me your name.

Doesn't matter. I'll soon recognize

you and find out all about you and

your beautiful wife and lovely children.

I have no wife. None of my familiy

had wives. My father didn't like wives.

I mean my mother didn't like my

father's wife. May I have this book?

This looks a lot like you, but older of

course. A relative of yours?

- This is my father. Your father?

- Madame Knabe?

Married with Peter Knabe, 46 years

old and mother of 12 boys.

That was a disguise. My father was

a spy in the war.

He always used to disguise himself

as my mother.

- I was 19 before I could tell them apart.

- Knabe, is that your family name?

- Yes, Farple Knabe.

- Farple, what an unusual name.

Sounds like a morning breeze,

rustling through the leaves of the willows.

What does it mean?

Some kind of soup, I think.

-Where were you born?

- Well let me have the book and I'll

tell you all about it.

- Some night when we're alone,

perhaps tonight.

- I want to hear everything Farple.

You don't know how I yearn to live.

What it means to be married to a

man who doesn't understand.

He's a peasant, a course,

uncultured, a pig.

I was forced to marry him. I'm an

attractive woman, am I not?

I'm still in the first bloom of my

youth, am I not?

Could a man wish for a more lovely,

intelligent, responsive woman than I am?

- No!

- Oh Farple, you say the most beautiful things.

I really must be going.

- You will help me Farple, won't you?

- Promise! I promise.

When we get to Paris, I won't be a

burden for you. I swear.

- Forgive me. May I have a word

with Your Excellency?

- What do you want?

I throw myself on your mercy.

Please Your Excellency, for the

sake of my family.

-What is it? What have you done?

- The tax records, it wasn't my idea

to falsify them.

It was the Mayor, my own uncle and Toleki.

I admit I take bribes, but what kind

of bribes? Puppy dogs, just puppy dogs.

- I like puppy dogs.

-You can have them. Oh forgive me.

All 60 of them. And here's a little

gift just to show you how much....

- Who is it?

- It is I, Toleki, superintendant of the school.

- He mustn't find me here.

- Oh he's just a member of the council.

Come in.

Your Excellency, may I have a

moment of your time. I have

something that may interest you, look.

I have the best interest without a

stain on my heart, or I would never

tell you this.

- Come to the point Tacky.

- Toleki.

Sometimes a man must decide between duty

and friends and I feel it is my duty to advise

you of the corruption in the city of Brodny.

This isn't much, but if you will just

accept it as a loan.

May I see you a moment Your

Excellency. It's Gizzy the postmaster.

Gizzy! He may not find me here.

Come in.

I'm a poor man Your Excellency.

Please accept this, this is all I have.

The temptation was too strong. The

others stole more than I did.

- Who is that?

- Come with me, you have to hide.

Get in the closet here.

- Come in.

- Oh Inspector General. Yes?

I must speak to you. My uniform

looks very nice on you.

- I'm having one made in black, with

silver across here.

- What is it Kovach?

- I may as well make a clean breast of it.

- Won't you sit down?

You see it wasn't for me. It was for

my wife. My wife is not a contented woman.

She wants clothing and money and jewels.

I'd give my 6 kids to get rid of my wife.

- There's only 1 000 crowns here.

- A 1 000 crowns?

- If you just give me a chance to sell the jewels.

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