The Jeff Dunham Show Page #3

Season #1 Episode #1
Genre: Comedy
Year:
2009
426 Views


Nolan:
Alright, Bubba J, the first rule is to always keep the gun pointed in a safe direction.

Bubba J:
Don't point it at anybody that you like?

Nolan:
No. Don't point it at anyone at all.

Bubba J:
Unless you're gonna kill him.

Nolan:
You're not gonna kill anybody, today. This one is a 44 Magnum. This has a hammer spur so you can cock it, and shoot it.

Bubba J:
You said "Cock".

Nolan:
Or you can just pull the trigger without cocking the hammer back.

Bubba J:
You said cocking.

Nolan:
Ok. So..

Bubba J:
You're not sense of humor kinda guy. Cock is fun.

Nolan:
We're focusing on safety. So, aiming guns at people, saying the word cock, things like that.. We're just gonna focus on words like "safety".

Bubba J:
Don't aim your cock.

Nolan:
Ok. So let's go.

Bubba J:
Are you practicing to get drugs? My worst nightmare. A chick with a gun. Happy Hannukkah, ***********!

Bubba I gotta tell you, I love your gun.

Joe:
Oh, thanks, I love it too.

Bubba J:
So, Joe, what do you do when you ain't shooting guns?

Joe:
I'm a retired music teacher.

Bubba J:
You're a retarded music teacher?

Joe:
Pardon?

Bubba J:
What'd you do before you were a music teacher?

Joe:
I was an interrogator in Vietnam.

Bubba J:
Whoa, Vietnam?

Joe:
That's right.

Bubba J:
Did you make it back?

Bubba J:
So, what other hobbies do you have, Joe?

Joe:
I sing in a choir.

Bubba J:
That's cool.

Joe:
Yeah. Two years ago we sang in Carnegie Hall.

Jeff:
I did a show in Carnegie Hall.

Bubba J:
Excuse us, we're talking here. You know, Joe, there's something else I love, and that's the beer.

Joe:
Well, Bubba J, I love beer too.

Bubba J:
You do?

Bubba J:
Guns and beer. Beer and guns. You know, Joe, if you didn't have a dog, i'd marry you.

Jeff:
So, Bubba J, you and Joe became great friends.

Bubba J:
Yeah, we sure did.

Jeff:
Are you planning to get together again soon?

Bubba J:
No, it's over.

Jeff:
What happened?

Bubba J:
I saw Joe shooting with another man.

Jeff:
So?

Bubba J:
I don't wanna be with a tramp.

Jeff:
Well, Bubba J, our show's almost over. You're gonna join us next week?

Bubba J:
Where?

Jeff:
On my show.

Bubba J:
You have a show? Congratulations!

Jeff:
Thanks for joining us. And thanks to Brooke Hogan. We'll see you all next week.

Bubba J:
Good night!

(End)

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Jeff Dunham

Jeffrey "Jeff" Dunham (born April 18, 1962) is an American ventriloquist and comedian who has also appeared on numerous television shows, including Late Show with David Letterman, Comedy Central Presents, The Tonight Show and Sonny With a Chance. He has six specials that run on Comedy Central: Jeff Dunham: Arguing with Myself, Jeff Dunham: Spark of Insanity, Jeff Dunham's Very Special Christmas Special, Jeff Dunham: Controlled Chaos, Jeff Dunham: Minding the Monsters, and Jeff Dunham: All Over the Map. Dunham also starred in The Jeff Dunham Show, a series on the network in 2009.His style has been described as "a dressed-down, more digestible version of Don Rickles with multiple personality disorder". Describing his characters, Time magazine said, "All of them are politically incorrect, gratuitously insulting and ill tempered." Dunham has been credited with reviving ventriloquism, and doing more to promote the art form than anyone since Edgar Bergen.Dunham has been called "America's favorite comedian" by Slate.com, and according to the concert industry publication Pollstar, he is the top-grossing standup act in North America, and is among the most successful acts in Europe as well. As of November 2009, he has sold over four million DVDs, an additional $7 million in merchandise sales, and received more than 350 million hits on YouTube as of October 2009 (his introduction of Achmed the Dead Terrorist in Spark of Insanity was ranked as the ninth most watched YouTube video at the time). A Very Special Christmas Special was the most-watched telecast in Comedy Central history, with its DVD selling over 400,000 in its first two weeks. Forbes.com ranked Dunham as the third highest-paid comedian in the United States behind Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock, and reported that he was one of the highest-earning comics from June 2008 to June 2009, earning approximately $30 million during that period. Dunham also does occasional acting roles. He achieved the Guinness Book of World Records record for "Most tickets sold for a stand-up comedy tour" for his Spark of Insanity tour, performing in 386 venues worldwide. more…

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